An acquaintance sent me this, and I thought it worth sharing – thanks, Sam.<\/p>\n
Enjoy.<\/p>\n
— — —<\/p>\n
PUNOGRAPHY<\/b><\/p>\n
When chemists die, they barium.<\/p>\n
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.<\/p>\n
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned\u00a0veteran.<\/p>\n
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.<\/p>\n
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.<\/p>\n
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never\u00a0met herbivore.<\/p>\n
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.<\/p>\n
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.<\/p>\n
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.<\/p>\n
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.<\/p>\n
PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.<\/p>\n
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.<\/p>\n
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.<\/p>\n
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.<\/p>\n
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.<\/p>\n
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!<\/p>\n
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she\u00a0couldn’t control her pupils?<\/p>\n
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.<\/p>\n
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.<\/p>\n
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!<\/p>\n
Broken pencils are pointless.<\/p>\n
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.<\/p>\n
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.<\/p>\n
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.<\/p>\n
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.<\/p>\n
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.<\/p>\n
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police\u00a0have nothing to go on.<\/p>\n
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.<\/p>\n
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.<\/p>\n
Velcro – what a rip off!<\/p>\n
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.<\/p>\n
Venison for dinner? Oh deer!<\/p>\n
Earthquake in Washington obviously government’s fault.<\/p>\n
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.<\/p>\n
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.<\/p>\n
Never fall in love with a tennis player because to a tennis player, love\u00a0means nothing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"