{"id":31488,"date":"2012-08-13T12:15:01","date_gmt":"2012-08-13T16:15:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=31488"},"modified":"2012-08-13T12:15:22","modified_gmt":"2012-08-13T16:15:22","slug":"sub-commander-fakes-death-to-match-his-fake-spec-ops-pick-up-line","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=31488","title":{"rendered":"Sub commander fakes death to match his fake spec ops pick up line"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sporkmaster sends this link to the story<\/a> of a married submarine commander, Navy Cmdr. Michael Ward II, who met a chick on line, immediately told her he was a special operator (because no one would believe a submarine commander would be on line picking up chicks half his age?) which came in handy when he suddenly decided that he wasn’t engaging in rational behavior, I suppose, and faked his death;<\/p>\n

When Ward, who had only been named commander of the USS Pittsburgh a week earlier, realized he was in too deep, he allegedly contacted the woman by email purportedly from a co-worker named Bob. The email read:<\/p>\n

“I am extremely sorry to tell you that he is gone. We tried everything we could to save him. I cannot say more. I am sorry it has to be this way.”<\/p>\n

“He loved you very much,” ‘Bob’ continued. He goes on to say that Ward wanted her to have something.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yeah, so the chickie went to his funeral, I guess it was classified, too, because there was no funeral, so she tells Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo at NCIS and turns over copies of the emails – and all of that results in Ward losing his command.<\/p>\n

After learning that Ward was still alive, the woman said she was hospitalized and discovered she was pregnant by Ward before losing the baby.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yep, because only sane women are picking up and boinking strange men on the internet. The internet told me so.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sporkmaster sends this link to the story of a married submarine commander, Navy Cmdr. Michael Ward … Sub commander fakes death to match his fake spec ops pick up line<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31488","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-navy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31488","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=31488"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31488\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=31488"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=31488"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=31488"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}