{"id":31335,"date":"2012-08-06T10:07:10","date_gmt":"2012-08-06T14:07:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=31335"},"modified":"2012-08-06T10:08:15","modified_gmt":"2012-08-06T14:08:15","slug":"road-to-the-fecal-four-sharkey-v-truitt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=31335","title":{"rendered":"Road to the Fecal Four: Sharkey v. Truitt"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Who will be the first to make it to the Fecal Four?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

5 Jonathan \u201cThe Cock Inhaler\u201d Sharkey<\/a> v.
\n3 Jason \u201cPrison SEAL\u201d Truitt<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SHARKEY<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tale of the Stolen Valor Tape:<\/strong>\u00a0 Claims \u201cThe MOS\u2019 Jonathon worked in while in the Army was \u2013 13B (Field Artillery), 11C (Motars), 11B (Infantry), 11BX (Infantry Drill Segreant)18B (SF Weapons), 71D (Legal Clerk specialist), 79R (Recruiter).\u00a0 Jonathon is also Sniper Trained and Qualified. He still practices his Sniper skills to this day.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Actual:<\/strong> National Guard PFC with an Army Service Ribbon and Sharpshooter Badge.\u00a0 (Which sucks for a sniper, hell, even I shot expert)<\/p>\n

Intangibles:<\/strong>\u00a0 Looks like a cross between Ron Jeremy and Guy Fawlkes; has lost 7 elections for public office; fled Minnesota with emotionally damaged minor; threatened to impale me, chop off my head and perform satanic rite with entrails; moved to Russia.<\/p>\n

As an aside, my reaction to his threat was as follows:<\/p>\n

Love the threats, I mean seriously, it makes me chuckle. Okay tough guy, come on up to Indy, we can fight on the War Memorial Grounds. You bring your Secret Service friends, and I will bring my equally imagined companions: Smurfette, Nessie, one of the dwarfs from the Council of Elrond, an Amish porn star, several Minions from Despicable Me, and a couple of your girlfriends from the Niagra Falls area. You don\u2019t think there is anyone that believes your horseshit do you?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019m still waiting for him to show up.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TRUITT<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tale of the Stolen Valor Tape:<\/strong>\u00a0 Claims \u201cIt was a harrowing seven tours. He was shot 11 times. He was declared missing in action, twice a prisoner of war. Once he was MIA for two months and 14 days. He was tortured and disfigured. He was shot in the stomach, requiring several feet of his intestines to be removed. His tattooed skin is covered in scars. He has vision in only one eye.\u201d<\/p>\n

Actual:<\/strong> According to his father, Truitt served for about eight months as a “fueler” on an aircraft carrier, and never reached a battle area.<\/p>\n

Intangibles:<\/strong> Drug addict who spent at least 9 months in prison; stole a trip that should have gone to one of our actual wounded brothers or sisters; managed to get a free rifle from the NRA (subsequently returned allegedly); as an ex-felon, wasn\u2019t supposed to have any guns; from one of his hunting partners:<\/p>\n

“Jason’s elk was wounded and thrashing around, suffering,” Whitnack said. He described how Truitt then went to the elk with a .45 semi-automatic pistol.<\/p>\n

“He emptied the magazine into the elk’s head,” Whitnack said. “Just the craziness of expending seven rounds, fast as you can shoot them, into this downed elk.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Batshit Crazy, Party of One, your table is now ready.<\/p>\n

Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare, now go vote.<\/p>\n

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