{"id":31170,"date":"2012-07-31T08:12:29","date_gmt":"2012-07-31T12:12:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=31170"},"modified":"2012-07-31T08:14:12","modified_gmt":"2012-07-31T12:14:12","slug":"kennedy-and-ginsburg-regionals-round-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=31170","title":{"rendered":"Kennedy and Ginsburg Regionals – Round 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

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We begin today, as is our custom, with a new Non-Profit that deserves your attention, and it is one I have a soft spot for, Books For Soldiers<\/a>. I don’t remember who told me about this group when I was in A-Stan, but I remember being pretty excited. I ran right over to the MWR tent and signed up, and let the macine know I wanted a certain book. (I believe it was either David Gemmell or Stephen Hunter.) Anyway, as an afterthought I wrote “And if you know anyone with any used Law textbooks, I would love to get some to try to get ahead on my course work.” About a month later I received a gigantic box filled with the book I wanted, and tons of text books. It seems a law firm in Minnesota adopted me. Those books meant a lot to me, and allowed me to study a little over there. So, if you have a few duckets, toss them at www.BooksForSoldiers.com.<\/strong><\/p>\n

RULES: Because we took a pass yesterday, we have to consolidate the voting this week, so let me explain it here now. Also, be advised I will likely die at work here today and then Jonn will have to take over, because I feel like I got run over by a carriage. I coughed so much last night that my lungs could just fall out. Nonetheless, today you will vote on the Kennedy and Ginsburg Regionals. This week is a two day vote. It will be the percentages that carry over each day, NOT the votes. So, if Wittgenfeld wins 54\/46 one day, and loses 45\/55 the next day, I will average the percents and Sharkey will win. However, tomorrow will also start the other two Regionals, so you’ll be voting for 4 people today, and 8 tomorrow. Make sense, I hope?<\/p>\n

Apologies for using the old bios from the first round, but I really am a hurting unit guys. I will try to update tomorrow with some newer Jackassery but we’ll see how I feel.<\/p>\n

JUSTICE KENNEDY REGIONAL<\/strong>
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Here we go, vote at bottom.<\/p>\n

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1 Dallas \u201cFlying Assclown\u201d Wittgenfeld<\/a> v.
\n5 Jonathan \u201cThe Cock Inhaler\u201d Sharkey<\/a> v.<\/p>\n

WITTGENFELD:<\/strong> He\u2019s a bona-fide true action war hero of Vietnam, and if you doubt it, just ask him about any subject including the current price for oolong tea in Tibet and I guarantee the answer includes how he was a LRRP in Vietnam. But, as with all great and true trail assassins, Wittgenfeld got south on an international cabal of reporters and valor vultures who ripped through the time\/space continuum and went back in time to add that he was a green beret and Bronze Star with \u201cV\u2019 Device recipient to 8 of his media interviews. Also, they somehow force him to wear the green beret, to threaten Ms Mary from POWNet, and to use racial slurs while threatening people. But no, really, he\u2019s a delightful man who would never steal valor and misread the Constitution.<\/p>\n

SHARKEY:<\/strong> What remains to be said about the great Jonathan Sharkey? Kid is a five-tool player. A descendant of Prince Vlad Tepes aka The Impaler, Sharkey likes to (what else?) impale things, which from the looks of him includes thrice fried Twinkee\/Corndog hybrids. When not threatening TAH, Mary from POW Net or President Bush, he likes to kidnap fat little underage girls who buy into his Vampirism nonsense. I\u2019m still waiting on the DOJ to come after me that he promised over 9 months ago. Hurry up Holder, and don\u2019t bother using the \u201cI was preparing documents for Issa\u201d defense for being late.
\n<\/p>\n

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3 Jason \u201cPrison SEAL\u201d Truitt<\/a> v.
\n2 Brian \u201cWounded Mind\u201d Camacho<\/a> v.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>TRUITT:<\/strong> Um yeah, so there I was\u2026 \u201cIt was a harrowing seven tours. He was shot 11 times. He was declared missing in action, twice a prisoner of war. Once he was MIA for two months and 14 days. He was tortured and disfigured. He was shot in the stomach, requiring several feet of his intestines to be removed. His tattooed skin is covered in scars. He has vision in only one eye.\u201d He\u2019s also has a cataract of his left testicle and the trunk of a baby elephant permanently lodged in his rectum. (Rectum? Dayam near killed \u2018em.)<\/p>\n

\u00a0CAMACHO:<\/strong> OK, so Brian Camacho is a fraud. I totally get that. But, have any of you stopped to consider that his wounded mind might have come from his February 17 edtion of Smackdown <\/a>when Camacho made his in ring debut, competing in a battle royal to replace Randy Orton in the Elimination Chamber match? Or on the May 4th edition of Smackdown when Camacho teamed with Hunico in a losing effort against the Tag Team Champions R-Truth and Kofi Kingston? Oh, not the same dude? Well, neither is Brian Camacho and 1SG Brian Camacho. \u201cCamacho\u201d is kind of a cool name though. If I ever decide to fake an identity as a Tongan SF Chef, I\u2019m going to be \u201cMosi Tatupu Comacho.\u201d My grandmother was Elizabeth Warren\u2019s (D-MA) Indian Spirit Guide.<\/p>\n

JUSTICE GINSBURG REGIONAL<\/strong>
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Here’s your upset bracket, let’s see if that continues.<\/p>\n

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16 Fatty McQuartermillion Pounder<\/a> v.
\n12 Albert \u201cSensei Dick Munch\u201d John<\/a><\/p>\n

POUNDER:<\/strong> Dude pulled an amazing upset last week when he took down the #1 seed Williamson. Word on the street is that he celebrated by eating his way through 4 Hostess trucks, and was still hungry so he ate the pineapple from between his Chevrons. He kind of looks like that chick from Mike and Molly but with a ridiculous Moustache.<\/p>\n

JOHN:<\/strong> An awards clerk got an MSM, I haven\u2019t been this shocked since Ellen came out. He claims he\u2019s the \u201cBladed Weapons Offensive and Defensive Instructor\u201d at the \u201cStreet Smart Self Defense School.\u201d Bladed weapons my aching arse, the closest he got to a bladed weapon is when he and his friends were reenacting scenes from Zorro the Gay Blade<\/a>. If he\u2019s so badass with a katana, what in the hell is he hunting in the corn field with an Uzi or whatever the hell that is? Some sort of Ninja Raccoon?<\/p>\n

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\u00a03 Paul \u201cPrince Chumming\u201d Tillson<\/a> v.
\n15 Timothy \u201cDurango + Delta = Douchebag\u201d Oliver<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>TILLSON:<\/strong> Actual ribbons\u2026.four. But in these pictures he kind of looks like William Sadler, the guy that played the bad guy (Colonel Stuart) in the second Die Hard movie. Well, he would if that dude had a lobotomy and a sort of slack jawed jackass look. Actually, he looks exactly like the same actor in The Green Mile (\u201cAlexandre Dumb Ass\u201d) but that reference is obscure. Which is relative because you probably didn\u2019t get most of the previous 58 references. Also, Tillson\u2019s wife has huge breasts. Look! Melons! (That is Elvish for \u201cFriend\u201d.)<\/p>\n

OLIVER:<\/strong> Ironically, our Bios end with our most recent dirtbag, who surprisingly also has a crappy moustache. And a pony tail. And was Delta. And likes to play with toy guns. And is named \u201cGabryal\u201d or something. He HALO\u2019d into Kandahar with hundreds of other Delta guys. \u201cIt was a lot of chaos and a lot of fear.\u201d Rather like an attractive woman might feel at Comic-con I would imagine. Dude may have a case of lycanthropy too because that pony tail grew in like a year if his bio is accurate.<\/p>\n

Everybody knows
\nThat the world is full of stupid people
\nSo meet me at the mission at midnight
\nWe’ll divvy up there…<\/p>\n

Everybody knows
\nThat the world is full of stupid people
\nBut I got the pistol So I Keep the Pesos
\nThat seems fair<\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/div>\n
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