{"id":31028,"date":"2012-07-24T09:33:31","date_gmt":"2012-07-24T13:33:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=31028"},"modified":"2012-07-24T09:34:12","modified_gmt":"2012-07-24T13:34:12","slug":"justice-ginsburg-regional-round-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=31028","title":{"rendered":"Justice Ginsburg Regional – Round Two"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Support Defenders of Freedom:<\/strong> Lost in the debacle that was the Tim Poe affair is the fact that he actually did serve honorably in Afghanistan, and really was injured there. The stories after that were his and only his. But Defenders of Freedom should not bear the fault for Poe expanding on his record, and they won\u2019t again. This week I will be honoring DoF, starting off with a meager $10 to help their mission. DoF sends support boxes to our men and women in uniform, support wounded Soldiers with emergency financial assistance, supports the families of wounded Soldiers and support the USO at DFW Airport (which helped at least one blogger get married.) So, I hope you will join me and give them a few dollars. Don\u2019t let the fakers define who we are.<\/a><\/p>\n

JUSTICE GINSBURG REGIONAL<\/strong>
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So, without further ado, here we go, which of these 8 will be the 4 to advance to the unSweet Sixteen?<\/p>\n

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16 Fatty McQuartermillion Pounder<\/a> v.
\n9 Asleigh \u201cShrapnel slit my throat\u201d Martel<\/a><\/p>\n

POUNDER:<\/strong> Dude pulled an amazing upset last week when he took down the #1 seed Williamson.\u00a0 Word on the street is that he celebrated by eating his way through 4 Hostess trucks, and was still hungry so he ate the pineapple from between his Chevrons.\u00a0 He kind of looks like that chick from Mike and Molly but with a ridiculous Moustache.<\/p>\n

MARTEL:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just watched the video about her again, and I have nothing nice to say. I would take umbrage with the VA saying there is no evidence of a head wound.\u00a0 Dude, just look at her.<\/p>\n

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\n12 Albert \u201cSensei Dick Munch\u201d John<\/a> v.
\n4 Dave \u201cTiger Hunter\u201d Groves<\/a><\/p>\n

JOHN:<\/strong> I swear this dude is my sleeper favorite guy of the whole tournament.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m a former US Army special operations soldier, <\/strong>a surgical technologist, internationally certified in sterile processing, hold black belts and\/or high degrees in over half a dozen different martial arts to include but not limited to Ninjitsu, Jeet Kune Do, Muay Thai, Krav Maga and Lotar……\u201d\u00a0 Yeah, well I\u2019m a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points I can use my helm of disintegration and do 1d4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his plus 5 holy avenger.<\/p>\n

GROVES:<\/strong> This dude is closet funny too, I especially liked his story about\u2026. \u201cDuring one battle, Grove lost a friend to a Vietnamese arrow.\u201d\u00a0 I once lost a close friend to a Columbian lawn dart.\u00a0 Shit came flying out of fricken nowhere.\u00a0 Also, stop stealing your made up stories from Apocalypse Now, seriously.\u00a0 You were never dangling from the bottom of a helicopter with a cheerleader unless you are VT Woody.<\/p>\n

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3 Paul \u201cPrince Chumming\u201d Tillson<\/a> v.
\n11 Richard \u201cSenator Dickenthal\u201d Blumenthal<\/a><\/p>\n

TILLSON: <\/strong>BOOBS!\u00a0 Yeah man, when you are feeling them, and they are just like a bag of sand\u2026awesome.\u00a0 Just awesome. \u00a0Can we all agree he doesn’t really deserve her, but does deserve the outkicking his coverage award for Stolen Valor nominees? I have nothing to add really to Tillson\u2019s body of work (as it were), but I googled \u201can ode to boobs\u201d and found this video of a lovely young lass<\/a> proclaiming in song her love of the sweater kittens, airbags, cantaloupes, splazoingas, snowtires\u2026<\/p>\n

BLUMENTHAL:<\/strong> Just me, or does Blumenthal look like a cross between George Hamilton and Edward James Olmos?\u00a0 Like dude, are you a lawyer for the Corleone\u2019s, or flying this damn ship to go take out Cylons?\u00a0 BTW, much like my feelings about Blumenthal, I did not like the Godfather, it insists upon itself.<\/p>\n

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7 Jasper Land \u201cMy moustache alone is SF qualified\u201d Holland<\/a> v.
\n15 Timothy \u201cDurango + Delta = Douchebag\u201d Oliver<\/a><\/p>\n

HOLLAND:<\/strong> From a relative of his:\u00a0 \u201cI could look over those wild claims about himself but when he started forging Civil War letters, creating false genealogical lines, making up sources, forging wills while trying to peddle his CD to unsuspecting Holland researchers, primarily elderly women etc etc, I had enough.\u201d\u00a0 How many Holland researchers are there that this business model is a successful one?\u00a0 I made up a false genealogical line for myself that traces my ancestry to a conjugal visitation between Margaret Thatcher and Kubla Khan.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t easy, but I did it.<\/p>\n

OLIVER:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought he was a total ball of cowardly monkey spunk, but then his wife came to explain<\/a> that he\u2019s actually just blind and suffering from debilitating PTSD.\u00a0 She has a media law degree from Cortez Junior High School or somesuch, so I think we can trust her.\u00a0 In fact, maybe we should take this all down, since as she tells us:\u00a0 \u201cI will happily use my media law degree to sue for defamation of character, harassment, and slander each the reporter and those people who have linked to this article and posted hatefully on his page. This is a legal statement.\u201d\u00a0 Behold the power of cheese!\u00a0 (I have no idea why I added the cheese part, but I don\u2019t have the heart to delete it. \u00a0But for the life of me I can not figure out what angle I was going for.)<\/p>\n

Vote! For all who vote there will be millions of peaches, peaches for free*.<\/p>\n

*Offer not valid anywhere in the Milky Way Galaxy.<\/p>\n

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