{"id":29364,"date":"2012-04-02T09:28:30","date_gmt":"2012-04-02T13:28:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=29364"},"modified":"2012-04-02T09:28:30","modified_gmt":"2012-04-02T13:28:30","slug":"jihadist-fail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=29364","title":{"rendered":"Jihadist fail"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.duffelblog.com\/2012\/04\/afghan-army-soldier-attacks-us-troops-fails-miserably\/\">The Duffel Blog<\/a>, a SATIRE blog, has the story of a failed jihadist in Afghanistan;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cI was just coming off a foot patrol and was glad to sit down and enjoy a nice plate of\u2026 well\u2026 something. I\u2019m not really sure what it was, it was some kind of meat I guess. That\u2019s not the point. Anyways, this guy comes in with his AK-47 and yells something like \u2018King Kong ain\u2019t got shit on me!\u2019 and starts spraying wildly over his head.<\/p>\n<p>Everyone dropped to the floor but I don\u2019t think it would have mattered if we had just finished our meals. The only thing he hit was the flags hanging from the ceiling. After he wasted all of his ammo in about five seconds he couldn\u2019t get his other magazine out of his pocket because there was duct tape on it for some reason.  Two guys from Bravo Company took the opportunity and tackled him. It looked like he tried to tickle fight them once they had him pinned down.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>StrikeFO wrote the piece, I think so you should read the whole thing and send him props.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Duffel Blog, a SATIRE blog, has the story of a failed jihadist in Afghanistan; \u201cI &hellip; <a title=\"Jihadist fail\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=29364\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Jihadist fail<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29364"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29364\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}