{"id":28962,"date":"2012-03-02T12:04:45","date_gmt":"2012-03-02T16:04:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=28962"},"modified":"2012-03-02T12:19:43","modified_gmt":"2012-03-02T16:19:43","slug":"these-kids-suck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=28962","title":{"rendered":"These kids suck&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>OK, first the video:<br \/>\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"http:\/\/video.foxnews.com\/v\/embed.js?id=1484272922001&#038;w=466&#038;h=263\"><\/script><noscript>Watch the latest video at <a href=\"http:\/\/video.foxnews.com\">video.foxnews.com<\/a><\/noscript><\/p>\n<p>Look, there are a host of reasons I want to have kids: slave labor, keep my wife busy, someone to mow the lawn, easy to beat at basketball, etc.  At the top of that list is having a kid to just dominate the shit out of mutton busting.  Make no mistake, I probably won&#8217;t get rich of riding my kids success in this, but it just seems the market place is so open for a dominant kid to grab our attention.  These kids all stink.<\/p>\n<p>Like dude, #8, what was with that tackling the sheep thing?  What did furry dude ever do to you? And you with the lollypop, get your head back in the game.  I&#8217;m going to have the kids sitting there watching Teletubbies or whatever passes as entertainment for these little snot factories and make then keep making fists in huge tubs of sand.  Your forearms hurt?  I don&#8217;t care.  Keep working it, or I will toss this sippy cup and blankie out in the snow.<\/p>\n<p>And my kid isn&#8217;t wearing that helmet either.  You might think the goal is to stay on the sheep, that&#8217;s all your little non-achieving mentality can grasp.  My kid will be like the damn Zorro of mutton busting.  That sheep will be up on 2 legs dancing around like Michael Irvin.  <\/p>\n<p>Can we just be honest?  These kids suck.  My kids will dominate this shit.<\/p>\n<p>PS:  Please spare me the ridiculous comments and emails, yes, this is about the cutest thing I have seen in weeks, and this was an attempt at humor.  Would totally go watch this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>OK, first the video: Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Look, there are a host of &hellip; <a title=\"These kids suck&#8230;\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=28962\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">These kids suck&#8230;<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28962","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28962"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28962\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}