{"id":28361,"date":"2012-01-18T11:34:30","date_gmt":"2012-01-18T15:34:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=28361"},"modified":"2012-01-18T11:34:30","modified_gmt":"2012-01-18T15:34:30","slug":"amazon-product-of-the-day-microwave-for-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=28361","title":{"rendered":"Amazon Product of the Day: Microwave for One"},"content":{"rendered":"

This gag NEVER gets old.<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I received this book from my “friend”, Jimmy Pike, shortly after my ex-wife absconded to the plains of northern Florida with our gardener, Rodrigo Figueroa. (Yes, that’s right you smarmy, back-stabbing twit – I’m calling you out!) In her wake, she’d left me with little else, but a microwave and a suspicious and malodorous rash. For better or worse, a few nights of panicking, challenging urination and a 2-week course of antibiotics soon left me with only the former. As I began to regain control of my faculties, it became apparent that my steady diet of Polly-o cheese sticks and mustard would not do. Still, while my appetite was returning, I found it impossible to operate the aforementioned microwave. That’s when I recalled that I had in my possession the one book that could help me. I am, of course, referring to Sonia Allison’s “Microwave For One”. Rarely has a tome so accurately captured the quiet desperation of post-marital cuisine. The chapters are well-organized and provide very simple, clear instructions on how to prepare a wide assortment of meals. (I would caution you, however, to try and pick-up an unused copy of the book. The one gifted to me was clearly secondhand as some of the writing had been smudged out by what I’m assuming were the previous owners errant tears.) From her Cheetos Souffle to her mouthwatering recipe for Canard A’la Sunkist, Ms. Allison does not disappoint. (Yes, of course she is single.) Bon appetit! <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

H\/t to AR, the 3.4 kid.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This gag NEVER gets old. I received this book from my “friend”, Jimmy Pike, shortly after … Amazon Product of the Day: Microwave for One<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28361"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28361\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}