{"id":27089,"date":"2011-10-18T19:45:02","date_gmt":"2011-10-18T23:45:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=27089"},"modified":"2011-10-18T19:45:02","modified_gmt":"2011-10-18T23:45:02","slug":"kinda-hate-being-singled-out-but","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=27089","title":{"rendered":"Kinda hate being singled out, but&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/scientists-baffled-by-mans-incredible-ability-to-f,19422\/\" target=\"_blank\">Scientists Baffled By Man&#8217;s Incredible Ability To Fuck Up Every Time<\/a><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>BALTIMORE\u2014Neurologists at Johns Hopkins University confirmed Monday they remain completely baffled by Rockville, MD resident Erik Collins, a man who possesses an extraordinary and previously undocumented ability to fuck everything up.<\/p>\n<p>According to Dr. William Moore, head of a research team studying exactly how Collins manages to drop the goddamn ball every single time, the 32-year-old sales associate represents a major conundrum for modern science.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I&#8217;m<strong> NOT<\/strong> Mr. Collins&#8230; still it reads like my life story.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Scientists Baffled By Man&#8217;s Incredible Ability To Fuck Up Every Time BALTIMORE\u2014Neurologists at Johns Hopkins University &hellip; <a title=\"Kinda hate being singled out, but&#8230;\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=27089\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Kinda hate being singled out, but&#8230;<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":467,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[172],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27089","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-geezer-alert"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27089","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/467"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27089"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27089\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27089"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27089"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27089"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}