{"id":26526,"date":"2011-09-15T10:58:35","date_gmt":"2011-09-15T14:58:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=26526"},"modified":"2011-09-15T12:01:03","modified_gmt":"2011-09-15T16:01:03","slug":"today-in-the-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=26526","title":{"rendered":"Today in the news"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ncholas cage was woken up by a naked guy with a fudgecicle<\/a>. If my wife had a nickel for everything that happened at our house. Actually, the other day I decided to take Ambien, then make mac and cheese which I promptly spilled in the bed, and then attempted to cover with a towel. But yeah, naked man + fudgecicle = #losing.<\/p>\n

Some jackass tried to sneak snakes into the country in his underwear.<\/a> This on the heels of another dude having an Eel swim up his pintu. Seriously guys? This is why I wear a condom 24\/7. Ok, it’s not a condom, it’s a thimble and some ducktape, but you get the idea.<\/p>\n

For years I have been screaming from the Mountain Tops that Journey is evil, and Matt Burden wouldn’t listen. Well, I was right<\/a>. I would rather have the Eel take up refuge in my junk than listen to Journey. But you know who loves Journey? Satan.
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