{"id":23492,"date":"2011-05-19T10:44:32","date_gmt":"2011-05-19T14:44:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=23492"},"modified":"2011-05-19T10:44:32","modified_gmt":"2011-05-19T14:44:32","slug":"cdc-warns-of-zombie-invasion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=23492","title":{"rendered":"CDC warns of zombie invasion"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My <a href=\"http:\/\/www.foxnews.com\/health\/2011\/05\/18\/cdc-warns-public-prepare-zombie-apocalypse\/?test=latestnews?test=latestnews\">worst fears are realized<\/a>;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for,&#8221; the posting reads. &#8220;Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That&#8217;s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you&#8217;ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you&#8217;ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I knew it was coming. <\/p>\n<p>However, the CDC doesn&#8217;t tell us the important stuff &#8211; like what part of the zombies&#8217; heads we should blast to pieces, or how much ammo we should have. They prattle on about food and water and blankets. Who needs food, water or blankets when the ghouls are feasting on my delicious and ample brains because I didn&#8217;t have enough ammo to get to a zombie-free zone?<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s kind of a tongue-in-cheek campaign,&#8221; Daigle said Wednesday.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Yeah, let&#8217;s see how hard you laugh when your tongue is being chewed up in some undead&#8217;s cheek.<\/p>\n<p>I need some more ammo.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My worst fears are realized; &#8220;There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can &hellip; <a title=\"CDC warns of zombie invasion\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=23492\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">CDC warns of zombie invasion<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blather"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=23492"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23492\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=23492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=23492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=23492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}