{"id":23010,"date":"2011-04-19T19:22:42","date_gmt":"2011-04-19T23:22:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=23010"},"modified":"2011-04-19T19:24:13","modified_gmt":"2011-04-19T23:24:13","slug":"rum-sodomy-and-the-bit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=23010","title":{"rendered":"Rum, Sodomy and the Bit"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As most of you know, I am leaving for Montana on Thursday morning to spend 4 days in the wilderness with <a href=\"http:\/\/www.blackfive.net\/\">Blackfive<\/a> as we drive horses through Three Forks.  We&#8217;ll be checking out the camp for the<a href=\"http:\/\/www.heroesandhorses.net\/\"> Heroes and Horses program<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I think in honor of my trip, I would give the top 10 things I really hope not to hear from Matt or myself on this trip:<\/p>\n<p>10) You think the gay cowboys have any more pudding?<br \/>\n9) A rattlesnake bit my ass, suck out the poison!<br \/>\n8 ) I think the chaps go outside your jeans.<br \/>\n7) If we reenact the fire scene from Blazing Saddles tonight, try not to shard yourself again.<br \/>\n6) No, you are supposed to mount the horse, not the other way around.<br \/>\n5) Heh, look at that, your horse is also hung like an Irishman.<br \/>\n4) Look on the bright side, you can play Christopher Reeves in the made for TV movie now.<br \/>\n3) [In Han Solo voice]: And I thought they smelled bad on the outside<br \/>\n2)  Damn, ran out of toilet paper and I&#8217;m down to one sock.<br \/>\n1) I wish I knew how you quit you, saddle horn in my anus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As most of you know, I am leaving for Montana on Thursday morning to spend 4 &hellip; <a title=\"Rum, Sodomy and the Bit\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=23010\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Rum, Sodomy and the Bit<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=23010"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23010\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=23010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=23010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=23010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}