{"id":22275,"date":"2011-02-14T16:38:47","date_gmt":"2011-02-14T20:38:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=22275"},"modified":"2011-02-14T16:38:47","modified_gmt":"2011-02-14T20:38:47","slug":"im-officially-part-of-the-vast-right-wing-conspiracy-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=22275","title":{"rendered":"I’m officially part of the vast right wing conspiracy now."},"content":{"rendered":"

Thanks to Blackfive for forwarding along this little chucklefest<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Soldiers’ Angels is a pro-war nonprofit whose primary aim their Web site explains is to provide “aid and comfort to the men and women of the United States Army, Marines, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, and their families.” Their trustees include Mark Seavey who co-founded Vets for Freedom — a group currently managed by Purple Heart recipient, Wade Zirkle, who also serves on the advisory board of the Warrior Legacy Foundation, a nonprofit “steadfastly committed to changing the perception of the America’s Warrior Class.” Another Soldiers’ Angels trustee, Matthew Burden, presently acts as the chair of Warrior Legacy’s board of directors, and is an advisor to a group of war veterans called Team Rubicon, which describe its role as providing a private sector approach to disaster relief, “bridg[ing] the gap between catastrophe and large-scale response.” <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I remember it like it was yesterday. Matt, myself, the head of Richard Nixon affixed to Bender’s body, Ollie North, a medium channelling Genghis Khan, Paul Weyrich and (inexplicably) the Smothers brothers had decided to meet in secret with Jim Hake at the Olive Garden, because they treat you like family there. We were ushered into a back room secreted in a bookshelf, where we were met by Dick Cheney, Emperor Palpatine and the ghost of Orville Redenbacher. We began, as is our daily wont, with a reading from the Holy Necronomicon, before sacrificing many a virgin. (Let me tell you, Virgin bloody mary’s do wonder for a hangover.)<\/p>\n

I don’t want to give the ending away, but we decided to create a cabal of organizations which help wounded vets, give book bags to Afghan kids, and the Warrior Legacy Foundation, and through this incredible affluence change the world so that that power of Zorg might again come to power. (BTW- Doesn’t this guy know we also rule Scientology? I mean shit, how much research did he do to miss that.)<\/p>\n

Anyway, at the meeting we also drank Guinness from the recently unearthed skull of Xena, the ancient warrior princess. This of course imbued us with great powers. Each of us got to chose our super power. Since I obviously already had a secret power of “devastatingly good looks”, I went with the ability to block out all retarded blog postings that I might stumble upon. Thankfully, it has come in handy this day my friends.<\/p>\n

(Um, hey asshole, in the next version of this, you can include that I also worked for the Free Congress Foundation for 3 months in 1992. Yep, I did. Consisted almost entirely of drinking beer with Paul Weyrich’s son Pete.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thanks to Blackfive for forwarding along this little chucklefest: Soldiers’ Angels is a pro-war nonprofit whose … I’m officially part of the vast right wing conspiracy now.<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22275"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22275\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}