[On EDIT: Just to clarify….folks are emailing to say I am being too hard on FRGs and not all of them are like that. Fair enough. But the 3 I have been involved in have been monolithically horrid. They not only didn’t solve any problems, they either made them out of thin air, or exacerbated them. I have seen FRGs ruin marriages (as one commenter notes below) by starting rumors of infidelity. When we couldn’t call for a day, the FRG would run off with “someone got killed” rumors. All in all, my experience has been dreadful. And please, tell me a success story. Obviously my post is largely hyperbole since this is a semi-comedic blog. I have no doubt that some FRGs work REALLY hard. My problem is with the drama that seems to be intrinsic in these cases.]<\/p>\n
Let me tell you a quick story. It’s about an infantry unit, let’s just call it Chahlee Chumpany to be non-specific. Once upon a time they were preparing to deploy to a country in the balkan region whose name rhymes with Nosbia-Smerzegovina. Anyway, they had to do a bunch of bullshit because they were Natty Guard, and no one trusted Natty Guard back then. So, out they go on a “week long” MRE (Mission Rehearsal Exercise.) Only the son of a bitch lasts 2 weeks. Finally they come in from the field. They are tired. They are sore. They smell bad. But first….to the phones to call loved ones.<\/p>\n
With the first phone call you knew there was a problem. It went something like:<\/p>\n
Soldier: Hey babe! I’ve missed you so bad.
\nWife: You no good piece of shit, how dare you yada yada yada yada.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nSee, it seems in the absence of any intel, the FRG (Family Readiness Group, hereinafter “Witches Coven”) got together to devine through tarot readings, lamb entrail divination, and sheer insanity to come up with the most likely answer to our absence, and they hit upon the fact that we must have all contributed $10 to a pot, and the last person to call their wife won the entire amount. I mean sure, that’s Occam’s Razor at it’s finest right there, isn’t it? <\/p>\n