{"id":17700,"date":"2010-02-26T11:22:39","date_gmt":"2010-02-26T16:22:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=17700"},"modified":"2010-02-26T11:22:39","modified_gmt":"2010-02-26T16:22:39","slug":"cracked-brings-the-funny-military-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=17700","title":{"rendered":"Cracked brings the funny, military style"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p>In 1943, Jan Baalsrud and some fellow commandos went to Norway on the very specific mission of destroying an air traffic control tower with a fishing boat. Fearing that a fishing boat alone may not be sufficient, they also filled it to the tits with explosives.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, the Germans caught wind of Operation Fishing Boat Bang Bang Explody Pow and were lying in wait. Jan and the others, seeing how fucked they were, lit the fuse on the explosives and tried to escape in a smaller boat; a plan which resulted in them having exactly zero remaining boats (approximately one less than the recommended amount for seafaring adventures).<\/p>\n<p>Jan and his buddies were now in freezing waters and being shot to pieces. They all swam for the coast, but only Jan got away. Because his luck hadn&#8217;t been shitty enough up to this point, he was immediately shot in the foot upon reaching land. Caught between freezing to death and bleeding to death, Jan also had the Germans behind him. Capture seemed imminent and, quite frankly, preferable.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/article_18429_6-soldiers-who-survived-shit-that-would-kill-terminator_p2.html\">Go see how this one turns out&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n<p>H\/t to a red little M&#038;M.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In 1943, Jan Baalsrud and some fellow commandos went to Norway on the very specific mission &hellip; <a title=\"Cracked brings the funny, military style\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=17700\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Cracked brings the funny, military style<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17700","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17700"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17700\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}