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Hold onto your tactical vests, folks! A New Berlin man who allegedly thought he could LARP his way into being a Border Patrol bigwig and a war hero is getting a fresh attorney to defend his, ahem, creative<\/em> life choices. Hank Glembin, 35, is back in the spotlight after allegedly strutting around like a wannabe federal agent last summer and then doubling down by claiming he\u2019s got not one, but two<\/em> Purple Hearts\u2014like he\u2019s auditioning for a Michael Bay movie.<\/p>\n Glembin\u2019s original lawyer, Christopher Carson, yeeted himself out of the case earlier this month, citing a \u201cconflict of interest\u201d (probably that his client\u2019s fibs were too wild even for him). Court Commissioner David Herring gave Carson the green light to bail on Monday, setting a new court date for Oct. 28, per online records. Glembin\u2019s now left to find a new legal sidekick to navigate his laundry list of charges.<\/p>\n So, what\u2019s the tea? Last January, Glembin allegedly decided to play dress-up as a U.S. Customs and Border Protection agent. Picture this: he\u2019s rocking a hat screaming \u201cCBP,\u201d a vest plastered with \u201cDHS\u201d and \u201cCBPPA,\u201d and a duty belt complete with a gun. He even flashed a fancy ID claiming he was with the Department of Homeland Security while \u201cvolunteering\u201d to help a Muskego cop with a dead deer<\/em> on Jan. 25. Because nothing says \u201cfederal agent\u201d like offering roadside taxidermy services. Four days later, he rolled up to a New Berlin traffic stop, still in his CBP cosplay, with extra gear in his car like he was ready to star in Border Patrol: The Musical<\/em>. Spoiler: He\u2019s not with the agency. Shocker.<\/p>\n Fast forward to June, and Glembin\u2019s antics hit peak sitcom levels. His lawyer, Carson, emailed Assistant D.A. Lindsey Hirt some \u201cdocuments\u201d claiming Glembin was a Purple Heart recipient for \u201clife-saving actions\u201d and wounds from 2014-2015 in Afghanistan and Yemen, supposedly during Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom. Carson was like, \u201cYo, check out my guy\u2019s military glow-up, can we talk misdemeanor?\u201d Bold move, sir.<\/p>\n But here\u2019s where it gets chef\u2019s kiss<\/em> hilarious: the Purple Heart certificates were faker than a reality TV romance. One had \u201ctheater\u201d misspelled as \u201ctheature\u201d\u2014because nothing screams \u201cofficial military document\u201d like a typo your spellcheck would slap. Both docs, dated May 21, 2015, looked like they were whipped up in Photoshop by a middle schooler. Plus, Purple Hearts usually pinpoint exact dates, not vague \u201csometime between October 2014 and April 2015\u201d vibes. When a Waukesha County Sheriff\u2019s detective called Glembin out on July 1, he doubled down, claiming the certificates arrived in a manila envelope<\/em> (so legit!) and pointed to a \u201ccombat wound\u201d on his body. Sure, Hank, and I got a Medal of Honor in my spam folder.<\/p>\n Carson, to his credit, swore he didn\u2019t know the certificates were as real as a three-dollar bill and had no intent to dupe the D.A. Meanwhile, a state Division of Criminal Investigation special agent (and retired Navy commander) took one look at the docs and probably laughed harder than we are. Glembin\u2019s official personnel file spilled the beans: no Purple Hearts, no combat zones, no Afghanistan, no Yemen. Instead, he was chilling in Okinawa, Japan, from October 2014 to April 2015, probably sipping boba, not dodging bullets.<\/p>\n So now, Glembin\u2019s facing charges for impersonating a peace officer, unauthorized use of official documents, bail jumping, lying about military honors, and obstructing police. With a new lawyer on deck, we can only hope they\u2019re ready for this wild ride. Stay tuned for the next episode of As the Valor Turns<\/em>!<\/p>\n\n