{"id":172452,"date":"2025-08-06T08:00:56","date_gmt":"2025-08-06T12:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=172452"},"modified":"2025-08-05T23:11:29","modified_gmt":"2025-08-06T03:11:29","slug":"big-balls-proves-he-does-in-fact-have-big-balls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=172452","title":{"rendered":"‘Big Balls’ proves he does in fact have big balls"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

You might remember this kid Elon brought in to work on DOGE after Trump’s inauguration. The media\/left tried to get him fired by pointing out that a few years ago (when he was a younger, dumber teenager) he went by the online moniker ‘Big Balls.’ Well, Trump and Elon didn’t care, and Edward Coristine kept on trucking in D.C. with DOGE (though it appears he may have left that organization).<\/p>\n

Earlier this week, Mr. Coristine became just the latest victim of violent crime in D.C. He took on ten or more urban troubadours that were demanding a female give up her car. Proving that the kid formerly known as ‘Big Balls’ actually has a pretty healthy set on him.<\/p>\n

From the NY Post<\/a>;<\/p>\n

A 19-year-old former Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) staffer was beaten and bloodied by a mob of 10 minors early Sunday morning as he thwarted a carjacking attempt in the nation\u2019s capital, according to DC police.<\/p>\n

Edward Coristine, whose LinkedIn handle earned him the nickname \u201cBig Balls\u201d at DOGE, was with a woman near downtown DC when he saw the group of juveniles approach their car and \u201cmake a comment about taking the vehicle,\u201d according to a Metropolitan Police Department incident report obtained by The Post.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt that point, for her safety, [Coristine] pushed his significant other \u2026 into the vehicle and turned to deal with the suspects,\u201d the dramatic report continues.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe suspects then began to assault [Coristine],\u201d the ex-DOGE staffer told officers, who rolled up on the scene at the same time he was being attacked.<\/p>\n

Officers patrolling the 1400 block of Swann St, NW \u2013 a popular area with several shops, bars and restaurants about a mile north of the White House \u2013 noticed \u201ca group of approximately ten juveniles surrounding the complainants\u2019 vehicle and assaulting [Coristine],\u201d the report states.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe officers immediately exited their vehicle, and the juveniles began fleeing on foot,\u201d police said.<\/p>\n

DC police were able to nab only two of the youth suspects, who were later positively identified by Coristine as being among his attackers.<\/p>\n

A 15-year-old male and a 15-year-old female, both from nearby Hyattsville, Md., were arrested and charged with unarmed carjacking.<\/p>\n

Coristine was treated on scene by DC Fire and EMS for injuries sustained in the assault, according to DC police.<\/p>\n

The software wiz also had his iPhone 16, valued at $1,000, stolen during the attack.<\/p>\n

President Trump shared a photograph of the aftermath of the assault on Coristine early Tuesday afternoon, showing the former DOGE staffer sitting on the ground, bloodied and with his ripped shirt barely hanging on his body.<\/p>\n

Trump, 79, raged that \u201ccrime in Washington, D.C., is totally out of control,\u201d in the post, where he also threatened a federal takeover of the district.<\/p>\n

Marko Elez, a one-time colleague of Coristine\u2019s at DOGE, claimed in a social media post that he snapped the photo of his friend shortly after the assault, and described his actions as heroic.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy friend Big Balls \u2026 is a hero,\u201d Elez wrote on X. \u201cI took this photo after Edward protected a young woman from an attempted carjacking by 8 thugs near Dupont Circle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cViolence like this in the heart of DC is completely unacceptable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Former DOGE chief Elon Musk also posted about the incident on X, without naming Coristine as the victim.<\/p>\n

Coristine resigned from DOGE in June, according to Fox News, less than a month after Musk departed from the agency.<\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You might remember this kid Elon brought in to work on DOGE after Trump’s inauguration. The … ‘Big Balls’ proves he does in fact have big balls<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":664,"featured_media":172453,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[185,715],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-172452","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-crime","category-doge"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172452","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/664"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=172452"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172452\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/172453"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=172452"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=172452"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=172452"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}