{"id":170410,"date":"2025-06-09T07:00:43","date_gmt":"2025-06-09T11:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=170410"},"modified":"2025-06-09T07:50:07","modified_gmt":"2025-06-09T11:50:07","slug":"the-epic-tale-of-philip-rear-admiral-fantasy-larimer-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=170410","title":{"rendered":"The Epic Tale of Philip &#8220;Rear Admiral Fantasy&#8221; Larimer II"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"grid-cols-1 grid gap-2.5 [&amp;_&gt;_*]:min-w-0 !gap-3.5\">\n<p class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"><strong>The Epic Tale of Philip &#8220;Rear Admiral Fantasy&#8221; Larimer II<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"><em>Or&#8230; How to Sink Your Own Ship Without Ever Serving<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">The fine, upstanding folks at <a href=\"https:\/\/militaryphony.com\/2025\/06\/08\/philip-larimer-ii-u-s-navy-admiral-naval-special-warfare-group-four-purple-hearts-blog-of-shame\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">MilitaryPhony<\/a> sent us their work on this <a href=\"https:\/\/militaryphony.com\/2025\/06\/08\/philip-larimer-ii-u-s-navy-admiral-naval-special-warfare-group-four-purple-hearts-blog-of-shame\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Philip Dexter Larimer II<\/a> fella.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/larimer.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-170411 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/larimer-240x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/larimer-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/larimer-266x333.jpg 266w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/larimer.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Meet Philip Dexter Larimer II, a 48-year-old Kansas man who apparently watched one too many Navy movies and thought, &#8220;You know what? I could totally be Tom Cruise, but with MORE imaginary medals!&#8221;<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"text-lg font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-1.5\">The Claims Hall of Fame<\/h3>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Our hero Philip decided to go absolutely bonkers with his military fantasy r\u00e9sum\u00e9:<\/p>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>Military Edition:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul class=\"[&amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\">\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>Rear Admiral<\/strong> (because why settle for Lieutenant when you can skip straight to the executive suite?)<\/li>\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>30 years of active duty<\/strong> (impressive commitment to a job he never had)<\/li>\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>JSOC, DEVGRU, NAVSPECWAR Groups ONE and TWO<\/strong> (collecting special ops units like Pok\u00e9mon cards)<\/li>\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>Four Purple Hearts<\/strong> (apparently got hurt A LOT in his imagination)<\/li>\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>Congressional Medal of Honor<\/strong> (might as well throw in the kitchen sink)<\/li>\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>POW status<\/strong> (prisoner of his own wild fantasies)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>Academic Edition:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul class=\"[&amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\">\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">MIT Nuclear Science Professor (because regular lying isn&#8217;t enough &#8211; let&#8217;s add NUCLEAR lying)<\/li>\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Director of multiple fancy-sounding departments at MIT<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 class=\"text-lg font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-1.5\">The Investigation: When Reality Crashes the Party<\/h3>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">The fun-loving folks at Military Phonies decided to fact-check Philip&#8217;s naval adventure novel, and oh boy, did they find some plot holes:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"[&amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\">\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>BUD\/S Training Database &amp; SEAL Team Records:<\/strong> &#8220;Philip who? Never heard of him.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li><strong>National Personnel Center Records:<\/strong> &#8220;We&#8217;ve got nothing. This man is a military ghost!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-Larimer-NPRC.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-170413\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-Larimer-NPRC-257x333.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"582\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-Larimer-NPRC-257x333.jpg 257w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-Larimer-NPRC-232x300.jpg 232w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-Larimer-NPRC-768x994.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-Larimer-NPRC-1187x1536.jpg 1187w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-Larimer-NPRC-1583x2048.jpg 1583w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-Larimer-NPRC.jpg 1700w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<ul class=\"[&amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\">\n<li><strong>Department of the Navy (DoN):<\/strong> &#8220;We found two things: 1) Jack <em>and<\/em> 2) Squat.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-1.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-170414\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-1-257x333.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"582\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-1-257x333.jpg 257w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-1-232x300.jpg 232w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-1-768x994.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-1-1187x1536.jpg 1187w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-1-1583x2048.jpg 1583w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-1.jpg 1700w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-2.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-170415\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-2-257x333.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"582\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-2-257x333.jpg 257w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-2-232x300.jpg 232w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-2-768x994.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-2-1187x1536.jpg 1187w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-2-1583x2048.jpg 1583w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/FOIA-Results-DoN-Larimer-2.jpg 1700w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<ul class=\"[&amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\">\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>DoD Manpower Data Center:<\/strong> &#8220;We&#8217;ve got nothing from 1992 to 2018. Nothing, I tell ya!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/2018-Larimer.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-170416\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/2018-Larimer-257x333.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"582\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/2018-Larimer-257x333.jpg 257w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/2018-Larimer-232x300.jpg 232w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/2018-Larimer-768x994.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/2018-Larimer-1187x1536.jpg 1187w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/2018-Larimer-1583x2048.jpg 1583w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/2018-Larimer.jpg 1700w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"text-lg font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-1.5\">The DD-214 Comedy Hour<\/h3>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Philip apparently provided his own DD-214 (military discharge papers), which listed an &#8220;Achievement Medal with Four Purple Hearts.&#8221; That&#8217;s like saying you won an Oscar with Four Emmys attached &#8211; it&#8217;s not how awards work, my dude!<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/DD-214_redacted.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-170439\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/DD-214_redacted-232x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"590\" height=\"764\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/DD-214_redacted-232x300.jpg 232w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/DD-214_redacted-257x333.jpg 257w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/DD-214_redacted-768x994.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/DD-214_redacted-1187x1536.jpg 1187w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/DD-214_redacted.jpg 1275w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 590px) 100vw, 590px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"text-lg font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-1.5\">The USAA Insurance Debacle<\/h3>\n<p class=\"text-lg font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-1.5\">In a legal dispute over an insurance claim, USAA wrote Mr. Larimer a letter indicating several issues related to his eligibility, as well as the DD-214 that he provided, allegedly the same one supplied above. USAA only serves people connected with the military and their relatives.<\/p>\n<p>Although they started the letter with &#8220;Dear Admiral Larimer&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dear-admiral.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-170431 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dear-admiral-300x65.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"65\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dear-admiral-300x65.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dear-admiral.jpg 386w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&#8230; however, they appeared to be skeptical of his story.<\/p>\n<div class=\"grid-cols-1 grid gap-2.5 [&amp;_&gt;_*]:min-w-0 !gap-3.5\">\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-170430\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/USAA-letter-300x55.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"550\" height=\"101\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/USAA-letter-300x55.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/USAA-letter-500x92.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/USAA-letter-768x142.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/USAA-letter.jpg 1356w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 550px) 100vw, 550px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"text-lg font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-1.5\">Recent Plot Twist: The Law Gets Involved<\/h3>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/25004033.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-170417\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/25004033.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"205\" height=\"224\" \/><\/a>SOURCE: <a href=\"https:\/\/kansas.arrests.org\/Arrests\/Philip_Larimer_64375446\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/kansas.arrests.org\/Arrests\/Philip_Larimer_64375446\/<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Just to add some spice to this already delicious story, Philip got arrested in May 2025 for:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"[&amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\">\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Reckless stalking<\/li>\n<li class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Violating a protection order<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Because apparently, when you&#8217;re done pretending to be a war hero, the next logical step is&#8230; allegedly bothering people in real life.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"text-lg font-bold text-text-100 mt-1 -mb-1.5\">The Bottom Line<\/h3>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\">Philip Larimer II: A man so dedicated to fiction, he turned his entire life into a military thriller novel &#8211; except he forgot to actually join the military first. It&#8217;s like claiming to be a professional chef while never having set foot in a kitchen, or better yet, claiming to be a submarine captain while being afraid of bathtubs.<\/p>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><strong>Pro Tip from Philip&#8217;s Adventure:<\/strong> If you&#8217;re going to fabricate a military career, maybe don&#8217;t claim EVERYTHING. Pick a lane, my guy. You can&#8217;t be a SEAL, an Admiral, a POW, AND a nuclear scientist. That&#8217;s not impressive &#8211; that&#8217;s just poor editing.<\/p>\n<p class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"><em>The End (Or is it? Stay tuned for Philip&#8217;s next adventure: &#8220;How I Became an Astronaut Without Leaving Kansas&#8221;)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Epic Tale of Philip &#8220;Rear Admiral Fantasy&#8221; Larimer II Or&#8230; How to Sink Your Own &hellip; <a title=\"The Epic Tale of Philip &#8220;Rear Admiral Fantasy&#8221; Larimer II\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=170410\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">The Epic Tale of Philip &#8220;Rear Admiral Fantasy&#8221; Larimer II<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":654,"featured_media":170411,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[718,119,241,461],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-170410","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-medal-of-honor-2","category-navy","category-nukes","category-purple-heart"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170410","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/654"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=170410"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170410\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":170429,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170410\/revisions\/170429"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/170411"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=170410"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=170410"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=170410"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}