{"id":16714,"date":"2010-01-14T12:59:29","date_gmt":"2010-01-14T17:59:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=16714"},"modified":"2010-01-14T13:31:20","modified_gmt":"2010-01-14T18:31:20","slug":"stop-picking-on-martha","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=16714","title":{"rendered":"Stop picking on Martha!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"curt\"<\/p>\n

I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.<\/p>\n

Now, I am not sure if I am more mad at the fact that everyone is picking on Martha Coakley for being an elitest, or that Curt Schilling reads conservative blogs and not ours. I mean, it’s not like I genuflect before his visage each morning or that I smear kethup on all my socks before every sox game. Anyway, Curt today went after Coakley for her asinine<\/del> completely justified defense of going to the fuindraiser in DC instead of staying in Mass (it was 13 degrees colder in MA):<\/p>\n

As opposed to standing outside Fenway Park? In the cold? Shaking hands?\u2019<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Anyway, Curt beats her with the bloody sock of rhetoric<\/a>:<\/p>\n

It shows her elitism and arrogance unbelievably. Aside from the apparent feeling that the seat belongs to her just by virtue of her party, she just admitted that she doesn\u2019t need to bother meeting with constituents because she\u2019s meeting people like Kim Driscoll, and political leaders, and Democrat activists. I guess they\u2019re the ones that matter, huh? I know it\u2019s a \u201cspecial election\u201d and all, but that doesn\u2019t mean that she doesn\u2019t need to fight for this seat. Prancing around with this mindset of \u201cOh, I\u2019m a Democrat, therefore Ted Kennedy\u2019s seat just automatically belongs to me regardless of what the people think,\u201d is idiotic. Acting as if she doesn\u2019t need to give her constituents the time of day is ludicrous. She can make all the snide remarks about Scott Brown shaking hands with people in the cold that she wants, but that\u2019s what you\u2019re supposed to do when you\u2019re trying to get elected. She seems to have forgotten that she\u2019s trying to get elected in Massachusetts, and not in Washington D.C. \u2014 if she remembered that, maybe she\u2019d spend more time trying to impress Massachusetts voters and less time rubbing elbows with the Democrat establishment, Big Pharmacy lobbyists, and union leaders. Most normal politicians, Republican or Democrat, do go shake hands with voters. Even if it means standing in the cold outside of Fenway Park.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Anyway, I just got off the phone with Brown Neck Gaitor, and we agreed that this smear campaign must end. And so, as a native Massachusian (from the mighty village of Clayton in New Marlborough) I give you my surefire ways to get back in touch with the blue collar folks from my state:<\/p>\n

* Sports are everything. You need to go to the Island of Hull, and hold a press conference. There apologize for yesterday’s comments, and hit on the following points:<\/p>\n

– Bill Buckner is a proud supporter of your campaign. He has said that he would sell his gold glove to the highest bidder to raise money for your campaign.<\/p>\n

– You still get a tear in the eye when you remember how in 2003 we won the World Series when Aaron (fucking) Boone hit that home run to bring home the title. The way Eric Gagne gritted through the year to end with a Cy Young award and an MVP award. Hell, I have tears in my eyes right now.<\/p>\n

– You think that Celtics Point Guard Wes Welker was really brave for the way he came out of the closet. This will endear you to both Teh Gheys and Celtics fans.<\/p>\n

– You still think that Jack Tatum got a bad rap, and you intend to reopen the case against him immediately. It is unfair that folks call him assassin.<\/p>\n

– Tuck rule has got to go. No more of that bullshit like Oakland pulled against us a few years ago.<\/p>\n

– Also:<\/p>\n

<\/object><\/p>\n

* Hit on some pop culture.<\/p>\n

– Boondock Saints is one of the worst movies ever, for the way it portrays Irish Americans in a bad light.<\/p>\n

– Your favorite bands are all from Boston: Kansas, Air Supply and Brooks and Dunn. You used to listen to Dropkick Murphy’s until you found out they were from Buffalo.<\/p>\n

– You rarely go to see plays, but when you do, it is ALWAYS, No ,No, Nanette<\/a>, because that was the play that brought the babe to Boston.<\/p>\n

– The worst songs in the world are “Dirty Water” and “Sweet Caroline.” Trust me, Bostonians HATE those songs.<\/p>\n

* You should use the phrase “cue the duckboats” with regard to your campaign. It is slang for, “we are fighting and have not got this wrapped up yet.”<\/p>\n

* Even though the Big Dig never struck oil or found Weapons of Mass Destruction, you still believe it was the right move.\u00a0 Now of course it looks bad, and so we shouldn’t do it again.\u00a0 ie You were for it before you were against it.<\/p>\n

* At somepoint just drop in there that you were named the “Smokeshow of the Day” by BarstoolSports.com <\/a>because you work so hard at politics.<\/p>\n

Whatever you do, make SURE you contact “Boston Maggie<\/a>” and arrange to hold a presser on that famed ship the USS Constipation, (aka Old Ironballs.) Maggie loves you. Just ask her. This will pull in the anti-war activists.<\/p>\n

Anyway, anyone else have any suggestions to help her out?<\/p>\n

JAG brought this up, which I had not heard, but LOVE. I mean really, who DOESN’T love Flutie?<\/p>\n

<\/object><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. Now, I am not … Stop picking on Martha!<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16714"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16714\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}