{"id":142017,"date":"2023-05-29T19:14:25","date_gmt":"2023-05-29T23:14:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=142017"},"modified":"2023-05-29T19:14:25","modified_gmt":"2023-05-29T23:14:25","slug":"memorial-day-parody-no-combat-stolen-valor-says-one-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=142017","title":{"rendered":"Memorial Day [PARODY] No Combat = Stolen Valor Says One Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I didn’t know what to make of this until I saw it was Duffleblog.<\/p>\n

Meet the Memorial Day patriot stopping people from putting flags on graves of veterans who didn\u2019t die in combat<\/strong><\/a>
\nA self-described \u201csuper humble guy,\u201d O\u2019Tool is quick to recount his exploits protecting the dignity of Memorial Day.<\/em><\/p>\n

W.E. Linde | May 29, 2023<\/p>\n

ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY, Va. \u2014 Although many veterans have taken it upon themselves to educate citizens about the proper observation of Memorial Day, James O\u2019Tool has decided to escalate efforts to counter what he sees as a war on the solemn day of remembrance. While some vets politely shame those who foolishly try to thank living veterans for their service, effectively confusing Memorial Day with Veterans Day, O\u2019Tool set out to stop people from laying flags and wreaths on that day at the graves of any veteran who did not die in combat.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a travesty,\u201d said O\u2019Tool, who will slap anyone who even thinks of honoring someone in a veterans\u2019 cemetery who didn\u2019t give the ultimate sacrifice. \u201cIt\u2019s kind of stolen valor when you think about it. Sure, all the people buried here served in some way. But would it kill you to do a little math with the date of death to guess if the person died heroically or not?\u201d<\/p>\n

To this end, each year O\u2019Tool spends the weeks before the Federal Holiday creating a multi-paged color-coded map of Arlington National Cemetery. All the headstones of those who died because of war are colored blue, and those that died a natural death are colored red. Then on the actual holiday, he patrols the cemetery dressed in his traditional THESE COLORS DON\u2019T RUN t-shirt and cowboy boots. One change this year required O\u2019Tool to replace his time-honored Bud Lite baseball cap.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only other cap that fits is my Hooter\u2019s hat,\u201d said O\u2019Tool. \u201cI know it\u2019s not perfect, but it\u2019s better than wearing some woke crap on my head.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Then…<\/p>\n

As Memorial Day 2023 drew to a close, an exhausted patriot reflected on what lay ahead.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy work is done today, but now I have to plan for Veterans Day. Then it\u2019ll be the reverse. Any clown who tries to put a flag on the grave of the honored dead will get my boot up their backsides.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I didn’t know what to make of this until I saw it was Duffleblog. Meet the … Memorial Day [PARODY] No Combat = Stolen Valor Says One Man<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":663,"featured_media":142018,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[209],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-142017","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teh-stoopid"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142017","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/663"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=142017"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142017\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/142018"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=142017"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=142017"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=142017"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}