{"id":13028,"date":"2009-07-28T12:31:15","date_gmt":"2009-07-28T17:31:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=13028"},"modified":"2009-07-28T12:31:15","modified_gmt":"2009-07-28T17:31:15","slug":"rip-my-george-foreman-grill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=13028","title":{"rendered":"RIP: My George Foreman Grill"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13030\" title=\"gfg1\" src=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/07\/gfg1.bmp\" alt=\"gfg1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Well my friend, we knew this day would come eventually, but I still shed tears at your untimely demise. For yea though I wrapped you in bubble wrap, it didn&#8217;t prove enough protection from those bastards at the USPS. We had some good times. Remember that time I made extra crispy bacon on you, and forgot to wash you out afterwards? Yeah, those were some good times. All the pork products that went through you&#8230;.it was like we were made to be together. I never wanted to lose you, but maybe you will find comfort in the knowledge that your friends, Mr. Computer CPU and 17 inch Monitor arrived ok.<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t worry, Saint Billy Mays will have a special spot in heaven for you with regular cleanings, thin cuts of meat and a surge protector.<\/p>\n<p>To show my love, I commissioned a poem to be written by the great poet Claymore of Marietta.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><strong>I packed you to move<br \/>\nNow you function no longer<br \/>\nRest in peace friend George<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Well my friend, we knew this day would come eventually, but I still shed tears at &hellip; <a title=\"RIP: My George Foreman Grill\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=13028\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">RIP: My George Foreman Grill<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13028"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13028\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}