{"id":116840,"date":"2021-08-25T14:25:33","date_gmt":"2021-08-25T18:25:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=116840"},"modified":"2021-08-25T16:17:15","modified_gmt":"2021-08-25T20:17:15","slug":"thoughts-from-our-gold-star-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=116840","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts From Our Gold Star Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\nPFC Andrew Meari, KIA IVO Kandahar, 1 Nov 2011<\/p>\n

Denise Williams, our Gold Star Mom, shares her thoughts on the fall of Afghanistan and the effects this debacle has, and will have, on those who served and their families who love them. This is not an easy read, nor should it be. It is a powerful, necessary message. It is my honor to post her letter in it’s entirety, here.<\/p>\n

Withdrawal from Afghanistan …
\nA Gold Star Mother Asks \u2026
\nWas It Worth It?<\/p>\n

By Denise Williams<\/p>\n

This is the question on the minds of so many in the wake of the withdrawal of American troops from Afghanistan, made all the more poignant by the seeming effortlessness with which the Taliban have retaken the country. For me and too many others, this question is particularly difficult and demands much more than a simple yes or no.
\nI am a Gold Star mother, a title I never wanted. It is an honorific, bestowed on those who have lost a child in war. In my case, my only child, PFC Andrew Meari, was killed in action in Kandahar, Afghanistan, on Nov. 1, 2010. Watching the news, seeing the Taliban taking over the ground stained with my son\u2019s blood, it is hard not to feel his life was lost for nothing.
\nWatching the horrific news, my thoughts immediately turned to those who served alongside my son, who literally stood on the ground soaked with his blood, the blood of their brothers. On the day my son died, five young men risked their lives by remaining exposed to enemy fire to protect his body, to be able to bring him home.
\nMy heart is shattered, and tears course down my cheeks even now as I think of them, of what they risked, of the despair they feel today. They literally defended that ground on which my son\u2019s body lay, ground that was back in control of the Taliban who took their buddy\u2019s life. As much as my heart breaks for myself, for my loss, the lion\u2019s share of my pain is that which I carry for them.
\nWhat I want to tell them, and all those who left part of themselves literally and figuratively in that faraway land, is the advice my heart has given me and sustained me for the past nearly 11 years since I got that knock on the door and heard the words, \u201cOn behalf of a grateful Nation\u2026\u201d
\nThe Grateful Nation referred to in those somber words is not Afghanistan. My son swore an oath on the Constitution of the United States of America. He, and all those who signed that blank check, served, fought and sometimes died for the idea and ideals that are America. My son believed this country was worth the risk, worth the price. For me to say his death was not worth it is to betray what he believed, what he swore to uphold and defend. I cannot dishonor his service, his memory.
\nStill, that is small compensation to this mother\u2019s heart which is forever torn in two. Part of my heart beats with a slow, steady pride that my son chose to put his life second to America. That thought staggers me still, that the child who ran to me for comfort from things that went bump in the night grew to be a man that willingly made that choice. The awe in which that thought lives offers a measure of comfort and peace, and allows at least that part of my heart to go on.
\nBut there is another part of my heart that is shattered, incapable of beating with the rhythm of life. The shards jerk and stutter, slicing my soul with every breath. This is the mother\u2019s heart that cannot say there is any idea, any purpose, anything, worth the life of their child. This is the mother\u2019s heart that screams at the sight of the Taliban occupying the ground soaked with her child\u2019s blood.
\nI know there are those in Afghanistan who are grateful for what my son and so many others sacrificed. Several years ago, there was a display at O\u2019Hare airport of the faces of all Illinois sons and daughters who lost their lives in Afghanistan and Iraq. Space was left next to each lovingly rendered sketch for travelers to share their thoughts. One note was for the family of PFC Andrew Meari written by a man from Afghanistan. It said, \u201cI am from Kandahar. This is the face of a man who died trying to make my home safe for my family. Thank you.\u201d As I watch Afghanistan revert to Taliban control, I wonder how that man would answer this impossible question, was it worth it?
\nGiven these endlessly contradictory feelings that can never be reconciled, how do I respond to that horrible question, was it worth it? Simply put, the still-beating part of my heart says yes.
\nTo say otherwise is to disregard what my son and so many others swore to protect and defend. To say otherwise would mean that I don\u2019t believe service to this country is worthwhile, worth any sacrifice.
\nMy mother\u2019s heart cannot quite bring myself to say the words, the simple affirmative response. The broken, jagged pieces are causing too much pain right now, for myself and for all my son\u2019s brothers and sisters.
\nThe best I can do is say, \u201cYou, all of you who have served, I see you. I see your pain. I stand with you. I remember and will never forget. Even as my mother\u2019s shattered heart bleeds, I thank you for the service and sacrifice. On behalf of a grateful Nation.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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\nDenise Williams<\/p>\n

Thank you, Denise.<\/p>\n

Note: Denise green-lighted the use of her name. Please use this, and not her nom de blog if you know it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PFC Andrew Meari, KIA IVO Kandahar, 1 Nov 2011 Denise Williams, our Gold Star Mom, shares … Thoughts From Our Gold Star Mom<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":657,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[301],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-116840","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-afghanistan"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116840","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/657"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=116840"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116840\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116849,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/116840\/revisions\/116849"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=116840"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=116840"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=116840"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}