{"id":112051,"date":"2021-04-01T12:47:09","date_gmt":"2021-04-01T16:47:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=112051"},"modified":"2021-04-01T12:47:26","modified_gmt":"2021-04-01T16:47:26","slug":"push-for-equality-for-military-working-dogs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=112051","title":{"rendered":"Push for Equality for Military Working Dogs"},"content":{"rendered":"

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In its latest push to equal the playing field, the Pentagon has decided to give non-traditional dog breeds a chance to become military working dogs.<\/p>\n

Among breds in consideration are Chihuahuas, Yorkshire Terriers, Pomeranians and miniature poodles.<\/p>\n

When a high-ranking official made the suggestion that the handlers may be mistaken for Paris Hilton, that official was dismissed from his post and scheduled for mandatory sensitivity training.<\/p>\n

In Push For Diversity, Military Canine Units To Give Equal Opportunities To Chihuahuas<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

LACKLAND AFB, TX\u2014Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin has directed all branches of the military to step up diversity efforts when it comes to working dogs in canine units. For the first time, the military– which has always favored German Shepherds in the past– will admit other breeds such as Chihuahuas and Pomeranians.<\/p>\n

“We’ve always had this narrow-minded view that the German Shepherd is the best dog for chasing down dangerous terrorists and sniffing out improvised explosive devices,” said Austin. “But why not\u00a0Chihuahuas? Why not poodles? Bringing in more dog breeds will increase our diversity– which is the greatest strength any military can have.”<\/p>\n

So far, there have been no\u00a0Chihuahuas capable of taking down a 250-pound man by the arm, so the military has elected to eliminate that test altogether.<\/p>\n

Military leaders confirmed the current plan is just to invite every breed of dog and hang out, eat doggy treats, and have a good time while taking diversity courses.<\/p>\n

“We’re proud of this beautiful mosaic we have created here,” said one Staff Sergeant while knitting a cute sweater for Squeaker, his working dog. “This is what our military is all about!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

To those readers that need a fine point put on this, and are not familiar with the Babylon Bee — April Fools<\/strong>!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In its latest push to equal the playing field, the Pentagon has decided to give non-traditional … Push for Equality for Military Working Dogs<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":663,"featured_media":112054,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[209],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-112051","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teh-stoopid"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112051","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/663"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=112051"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112051\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":112055,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112051\/revisions\/112055"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/112054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=112051"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=112051"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=112051"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}