{"id":10446,"date":"2009-05-07T18:23:53","date_gmt":"2009-05-07T23:23:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=10446"},"modified":"2016-12-15T17:14:23","modified_gmt":"2016-12-15T22:14:23","slug":"why-i-hate-fox-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=10446","title":{"rendered":"Why I hate Fox News"},"content":{"rendered":"

I stopped watching FoxNews in about 2001. \u00a0Honestly, I can’t stand even flipping over there. \u00a0First off, the only ones I liked were Tony Snow and Britt Hume. \u00a0O’Reilly is a bit of a jackass whose defense for being a boor to a female employee and essentially engaging in phone sex with her was his “Irish blood.” \u00a0I gotta be honest, not once has my Irish Blood kicked in to the point I wanted to call my secretary and ask her about her\u00a0loofah\u00a0skills. \u00a0Second, Shep Smith has girl eyes. \u00a0Yeah, I said it, he has the eyes of girls. \u00a0No man should have eyes like that. \u00a0If you took his eyes you could put them on Mariah Carey and they’d look normal. \u00a0Same with Geraldo’s\u00a0mustache. I mean, not that Mariah has a mustache or anything.<\/p>\n

Plus, FoxNews is just so ghetto. \u00a0Face it, the fate of Natalee Holoway ranks right up there on my “have to know” scale with wondering what happens if you eat nothing but corn, blueberries and peanuts for 2 weeks. Actually lower, because Southern Dem and I tried the other thing. It’s roughly what you would expect.<\/p>\n

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But, I used to go to Foxnews.com, because they sometimes had some interesting crap. Only today at work I went there and the headline was “You Decide: Does the Baby Look Like John Edwards?” \u00a0I shit you not, that was the main story. Now, granted I was only going there for naked pictures of Ms California, but damn people, who gives a shit if the readers think it looks like him? How is that news?
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\nDude, that baby looks like every white kid I know between 2-4. I think it may be my friend Dud’s kid. And then I started thinking, well, what if anyone gave a crap about me, what about that picture that my gal put on my facebook as a joke? Hell, even I admit the kid looks like me, and I swear I have never met the Mom. Little dude is wearing tan and drools. I’m like 0-2 on the deniability scale here, does that mean the kid is mine?
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I think my buddy Sniper may have some explaining to do too.<\/p>\n

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ON EDIT: Here’s my actual nieces. Or, at least my sister in law claims they are, but they look a lot more like the dude that delivers the Philly newspaper to their house than my brother. Either way Caro and I would have Ginger kids probably, and if South Park has taught me anything, it’s that ginger kids have no souls.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I stopped watching FoxNews in about 2001. \u00a0Honestly, I can’t stand even flipping over there. \u00a0First … Why I hate Fox News<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10446"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10446\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}