{"id":102328,"date":"2020-07-16T16:00:47","date_gmt":"2020-07-16T20:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=102328"},"modified":"2020-07-16T15:45:15","modified_gmt":"2020-07-16T19:45:15","slug":"a-brief-update","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=102328","title":{"rendered":"A Brief Update"},"content":{"rendered":"

There were rumblings in the ether this afternoon. I thought it was the approach of a thunderstorm, but it was not.\u00a0 The noise was incredible. No lightning, just noise. It hovered over my house like a bad hangover on Saturday morning.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Black helicopters everywhere?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I was concerned, seeing that it was one of those big black thunderbubble noisemakers hanging over my house. with several others not too far away, until someone up there dropped the following image into my birdbath, with a note:<\/p>\n

AW1ED ON SECRET MISSION. NOW PISS OFF, WILLYA?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"white<\/p>\n

It seems that AW1Ed has not been missing. He went on an expedition to rescue bears from the cheap, tawdry lunch trucks that had been handing out food that was bad for their teeth. The looks they gave him almost made him change his mind. They turned down the carrots and turnips, but ran off with several large boxes of salmon fillets and wouldn’t give them back. They also stole several cartons of pudding p[ops and popcorn, plus a DVD player and a wide-screen receiver with built-in speakers.<\/p>\n

Anyway, he communicated by long-distance shortwave radio from the northern regions that he would be returning eventually to Earth Normal and added that no one should ever try to be friends with polar bears.\u00a0 He will be incommunicado for a bit longer, because traveling over sea ice on a motorized sled pulled by elephant seals is slow and tedious and the batteries on his NOMAD-14 transmitter have to be recharged every 10 minutes, unless the Sun sneezes and generates a show of Northern Lights. Besides, he gets paid to do this kind of work.<\/p>\n

He will, however, return to base in due time. Stay turned for further developments.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There were rumblings in the ether this afternoon. I thought it was the approach of a … A Brief Update<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":653,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[478],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-102328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-none"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/653"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=102328"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":102329,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102328\/revisions\/102329"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=102328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=102328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=102328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}