If you grew up in \u2013 or spent much time in \u2013 the US South, you probably heard the phrase \u201cdrunk as Cooter Brown\u201d. I know I have.<\/p>\n
But just who was Cooter Brown? And why was he immortalized as the standard by which drunks are judged? Until fairly recently I didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
The story \u2013 or, more precisely, the stories \u2013 concerning one each “Brown, Cooter” are interesting, if possibly apocryphal. And they purportedly date to the US Civil War.<\/p>\n
. . . <\/b><\/p>\n
I say \u201cstories\u201d because I\u2019ve run across at least two versions of Cooter Brown\u2019s history. Here they are.<\/p>\n
Version One<\/u>. The first version says that Cooter Brown lived somewhere near the border between the US and the Confederacy during the Civil War. (One variant I’ve seen of this version actually says \u201calong the Mason-Dixon Line\u201d, but this would be impossible; Maryland didn\u2019t secede, so what follows couldn\u2019t have actually happened along the Maryland-Pennsylvania border.) This version says that Cooter was of prime military age, and had kin on both sides of the border – with said kinfolk\u2019s sympathies running both ways (Union and Confederate). He thus had a helluva time choosing sides; either way he chose, he\u2019d possibly end up fighting kinfolk. <\/p>\n
Further, both sides imposed a military draft during the war. Cooter didn\u2019t want to fall victim to that, either \u2013 from either side.<\/p>\n
Cooter decided he simply didn’t want to participate in the war. He thus resolved to get drunk \u2013 and stay drunk. For the entire war.<\/u><\/p>\n
Supposedly, he did so \u2013 at least, he was as drunk as the proverbial skunk every time any military unit or draft agent came to visit. He supposedly carried on this way throughout the war, successfully evading the draft from either side.<\/p>\n
Second Version<\/u>. The second version is set in a different location: Louisiana, specifically the Cajun Country part of Louisiana. Here, Cooter was of mixed Black and Native ancestry; for rather obvious reasons, he chose to emphasize his Native ancestry. He didn\u2019t much associate with people at all, and lived pretty much as a hermit on a small plot of land he\u2019d been gifted by a Cajun trapper some years before the Civil War broke out. <\/p>\n
In this version, Cooter also had difficulty in choosing sides \u2013 but the reason was because he wasn\u2019t sure how the war would turn out, or how either side winning would affect him. Still, he also didn\u2019t want to be drafted \u2013 so in this version, he also resolved to get and stay drunk for the duration. As the story goes, he did; he successfully avoided being drafted thereby. Unfortunately, he also developed a drinking problem (ya think?) and ended up an alcoholic.<\/p>\n
. . . <\/b><\/p>\n
Is either story true? Was there actually a guy named \u201cCooter Brown\u201d who sat out the Civil War by being an intentional drunkard?<\/p>\n
The fact that there are two versions argues that the story is probably apocryphal. But both versions do share some basic similarities; this argues that there may be some grain of truth overlain by embellishments and exaggeration. Maybe there was a guy by that name who avoided being drafted by getting thoroughly drunk any time he thought authorities might be looking for bodies to draft \u2013 though I doubt seriously he stayed drunk continuously for years. Who knows? I certainly don\u2019t.<\/p>\n
Either way, the phrase refers to someone who got drunk and (allegedly) stayed drunk for literally years to avoid being drafted. \u201cDrunk as Cooter Brown\u201d is therefore drunk indeed \u2013 and (the possibly apocryphal) Cooter Brown is indeed a worthy standard against which to measure drunkenness. (smile)<\/p>\n
Source<\/u>: <\/p>\n