This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: Legal

  • Judge to convicted molester: “…you were…gayer than a sweet-smelling jockstrap.”

    Who else but TSO would have sent us this link;

    Wisconsin Judge Philip Kirk sentenced a 71-year-old, former school bus driver named Delton Gorges to seven years in prison today. Gorges’ crime? Sexually assaulting four boys over the course of 40 years. Gorges, who was once married and has a child, swears he’s straight, prompting the judge to make the following observation:

    “I think you were born gayer than a sweet-smelling jockstrap.”

    Let that pungent image roll around in your mind for a moment, before we move on to Judge Kirk’s next comment about Gorges:

    “If anyone believes that in the last 10 years or 15 years all of a sudden you developed an interest in homosexuality and young boys, then I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress this year.

    I guess that’s a preview of TSO when he dons the robe one day.

  • Searight’s lawyer admits lying for client

    The other day, on a tip from our buddy Doug Sterner, an author of the Stolen Valor Act, we reported that David Searight’s lawyer got him off lightly because Robert Convissar, said his client won the Navy Cross and two Purple Hearts in the Middle East and had no prior criminal record. Now his lawyer is sputtering to the Marine Corps Times;

    “While my client is in fact an honorably discharged Marine, he did not receive the Navy Cross,” Convissar said in a statement. “I misspoke in court at the time of sentencing. I have apologized to the court for the misinformation provided on behalf of my client.”

    Convissar said he “unknowingly misrepresented the facts” in court.

    “I deeply regret it, and I apologize to all United States Marines, active and retired, who serve and had served our country with honor, valor and with great personal sacrifice,” he said in his statement. “I do thank you for bringing this to the attention of the court and myself and hope you can accept my apology.”

    More like “ignorantly misrepresented the facts”

    With Searight’s military service in question, [Susan Bjornholm, a Niagara County assistant district attorney] said her office will investigate whether he could face future charges.

    Charge the lawyer, too. I mean, who would suspect that a criminal would lie?

  • Scott Ritter, perv; It’s your fantasy not mine

    In case you didn’t know, former UN weapons inspector and agent for Saddam Hussein’s propaganda to the West, Scott Ritter, convicted perv, is on trial in Pennsylvania this week for a 2009 arrest when he tried to solicit sex from a 15-year-old girl trapped in a middle-aged detective’s body. The Pocono Record describes the second day of the trial;

    The ticking of a clock on the wall was the only sound to be heard in a Monroe County courtroom Tuesday as jurors watched a silent, 30-minute video of former United Nations weapons inspector Scott Ritter first wearing just a T-shirt, and then totally nude.

    Some of the seven female and five male jurors shifted uncomfortably in their seats, looked away or closed their eyes, as the webcam video image of Ritter masturbating appeared on screen.

    All of the jurors sighed in relief when it was finally over.

    Isn’t that kind of a perv’s dream come true? Twelve people forced to watch him polish his pickle?

    Then Ritter took the stand and told the jury he knew it was a middle-aged person pretending to be a 15-year-old girl. The Albany Times-Union recounts;

    Scott Ritter, 49, of Delmar took the witness stand in his own defense and testified that he believed the person he met in a Yahoo chat room in February 2009 was an adult who was acting out her own sexual fantasy of being a minor involved with an older man.

    “It’s your fantasy of being 15. Not my fantasy,” he testified.

    If that’s his defense lawyer’s strategy, Ritter should get a refund.

    “At no time did I believe I was dealing with a 15-year-old,” [Ritter] said. “One adult is fantasizing about being an age they’re not.”

    Monroe County Assistant District Attorney Michael Rakaczewski was incredulous.

    “Are you serious?” he asked, bringing a swift objection from Ritter’s attorney.

    See, that’s why I can’t be a juror. There’s no way I could not burst out laughing.

    Thanks to Adirondack Patriot for the links.

  • Ventura uses lunacy for good for a change

    The first time I’ve agreed with Jesse Ventura since his campaign for office ended;

    Thanks to one of my IVAW ninjas.

  • Woman helps cop subdue criminal

    I just thought this was funny when I saw it yesterday, so on a slow news day;

  • This guy teaches law?

    The Huffington Post has an article up by Adam Winkler, supposedly a UCLA law professor (no, he didn’t play the Fonz on Happy Days). The article is entitled “The Courts, Not Congress, Are the Biggest Threat to Obama’s Agenda“. His point;

    Monday’s federal court decision declaring key provisions of the health care law unconstitutional was not just a major setback for President Obama’s signature piece of legislation. It was also a reminder that the courts are an even greater threat to his agenda than the new Republican majority in the House.

    Crucially, it was a wake-up call for the president to jump-start his stalled judicial nomination process.

    Now, I’m no lawyer, but wouldn’t it make more sense to write legislation that’s Constitutional? It seems to me that Winkler is telling Obama to appoint judges who don’t understand the law and that the law is a pliable entity which the President can bend and shape to his will, instead of the other way around.

    I dunno, if my kids were at UCLA Law School, I’d be jerking them out of there in a hurry if I found out that one of their professors is a peawit who thinks that the law is a political journey.

  • Judge tosses ACLU’s targeted-killing case

    According to the Washington Times, U.S. District Judge John Bates has thrown-out a case brought against the US government by the father of terror-cleric and US citizen Anwar al-Awlaki who has been targeted by the government because of evidence that he has been involved in the Nidal Hasan shooting spree in Fort Hood, TX and the Christmas underwear bomber.

    Bates says that al-Awlaki’s father has no standing to bring the case to the court, although Bates, an Army veteran himself, appeared to want to try the case;

    The cleric’s father, Nasser al-Awlaki of Yemen, represented by the American Civil Liberties Union and the Center for Constitutional Rights, argued that international law and the Constitution prevented the administration from unilaterally targeting his son for death unless he presents a specific imminent threat to life or physical safety and there are no other means to stop him. The suit also tried to force the government to disclose standards for determining whether U.S. citizens like his son, born in New Mexico, can be targeted for death.

    Administration officials argued the court has no legal authority to review the president as he makes military decisions to protect Americans against terrorist attacks.

    I guess the ACLU smelled a fund-raising opportunity.

  • Gitmo detainee cleared of 284 charges

    Ahmed Ghailani, a participant in the bombing of the US embassies in eastern Africa in 1998 was being tried in a New York City federal district court and was the Obama Administration’s centerpiece trial for avoiding trial by military commissions and escaping the shadow of the Bush Administration. Well, the civilian jury cleared Ghailani of all of the murder charges leveled against him as well as nearly 60 other charges. The Washington Post tells us;

    The outcome, a surprise, seriously undermines – and could doom – the Obama administration’s plans to put other Guantanamo detainees on trial in U.S. civilian courts.

    Yeah, it was a surprise if you’ve been locked in a closet for the last nine years. The Bush Administration and everyone who ever knew the smallest details of the military commissions predicted this would happen…but not the Washington Post and the Obama Administration apparently.

    The Washington Times reports the Obama Administration’s reaction;

    The Obama administration didn’t address such criticisms Wednesday and focused instead on the one charge on which Ghailani was convicted.

    “We respect the jury’s verdict and are pleased that Ahmed Ghailani now faces a minimum of 20 years in prison and a potential life sentence for his role in the embassy bombings,” Justice Department spokesman Matthew Miller said in a statement.

    Yeah, they barely dodged a bullet and they think it’s a success.

    Of course, this is a result of doing the opposite of the Bush Administration just for the sake of being contrary. Closing Guantanamo isn’t going as smoothly as it sounded while the Obama crew was on the campaign trail – all of those Obama voters can tic off another thing he promised and didn’t accomplish because the president has been gob-smacked by reality.