Category: Geezer Alert!

So many somber and serious events and posts seem to demand a little levity for relief.

If you are a Navy vet think about the first time you heard it. If you were relegated to one of the lesser branches just smile.

Doesn’t require much more elaboration folks, besides it don’t make one gay to enjoy this (I hope!).

 

First off: This should be posted as a Weekend Silly, but I hurt myself laughing and wanted to share the pain.

Secondly: This comes from a satire site. Still it even stirred memories in this geezer so I expect you lot will be coming up with a few new names yourselves.

Axe Body Spray To Launch “Realistic” Line Of Deodorant Sprays Specifically For Veterans

“Taking a page from last year’s “Thank You For Your Service” line ofmilitary-themed scented novelty candles, world-famous men’s health company Axe Body Spray is kicking things up a notch this month by unveiling their new line of veteran-themed deodorant sprays as part of their #MarchTogether campaign.  Deodorant cans containing scents like “Bagram Burn Pit” and “Whiskey and Bad Decisions” are flying off the shelves at Post Exchanges world wide.”

The tone of article is nicely captured with this:

“Additionally, scent is the sense most closely tied to memories, and what most veterans want to remember, more than anything else, is the smells from their time downrange,” Dr. Olfactory said in an exclusive interview with Article 107 News.  “So, we asked a focus group of forty young Army soldiers in the grade of E1-E4 to help us come up with names for the new military-themed line of body sprays, based on what they themselves remember from their brief military service.”

“Unfortunately, some of the things they came up with were a bit… inappropriate,” Dr. Olfactory continued.  “No one is going to buy scents called “Fart Inside A Hot Pup Tent” or “Every Local National I’ve Ever Met” or “Port-O-Pottie Fornication,” that’s just gross.”

For me – I might be interested in reliving a bit of my youth, but maybe with a candle rather than a body spray… The aroma of crossing the reknown “Shit River Bridge” into Alongapo.

A pal of ours offers this story via FB. Needs little amplification me thinks. Made me smile and tear up at the same time.

http://www.people.com/article/boy-tumor-tanks-fort-benning

 

Remember Chickenman?

Ever wished you could hear a few of those old episodes again?  Well, if so . . . you might want to check out this link.  (Another archive that has a few other Chickenman odds and ends – promos, opening, closings, etc . . . – can be found here.)

No, he’s not everywhere any more.  And those collections might not contain all of the Chickenman episodes ever made.  But IMO it’s certainly nothing to sneeze at.

Unless you’re allergic to feathers, of course.  (smile)

For our younger readers: Chickenman began as a mid-1960s radio parody superhero series modeled on the then-popular Batman TV series.  It was created by Dick Orkin for Jim Runyon’s morning radio show on Chicago’s WCFL.  Orkin voiced the male character parts, except the narrator who did each episode’s intro and wrap-up; Chicago actress Jane Roberts voiced the female roles.  Runyon provided the voice of the narrator.

Each episode was about 2 1/2 minutes long.  It gained fame in military circles when it was featured on AFN (Armed Forces Network) broadcasts during and for a while after Vietnam.  As I recall it was rather popular – especially overseas.

It was campy and dumb; some of the episodes didn’t work that well.  But at times it was freaking hilarious.

It also had one of the most, um, “memorable” introductions at the beginning of each episode you’ll ever hear.  And according to a guy I once served with, at least once Chickenman’s vocal part from that intro was voiced – quite loudly –  in one of the hallways at USAREUR HQ not long after an apparent visit from the “good idea fairly” during a rather high-level briefing.  (smile)

Yeah, I’m old enough to remember hearing Chickenman on the radio too.  Some of the episodes were broadcast on one of the local radio stations for a while where I grew up.

Good times. And if that makes me an “old fart” too – well, considering the alternative I guess I can live with that.  (smile)

About this time in 1965 I was on my way to the Gulf of Tonkin aboard the USS England DLG-22. I was an 18 year old E-4 “seeing the world” curtesy of Uncle Sam.

The England was a “Double-ended” missle ship with missle launchers (Terrier anti-aircraft) fore and aft, and the only guns we had were 3 inch anti-aircraft mounts roughly amidships although we did have several Ma-Deuce rail mounted machine guns during this cruise. We also usually operated with WWII tin-can with the usual 5 inch mounts.  It was our “shotgun” escort for some adventures over the next few months. We also did Plane Guard for various  carriers as well.

My memory being what it is the attached piece of paper does come in handy.  Add that I ran into a Navy carrier pilot from VN at the grocery store today here on Pine Island that stirred memories and you get to read this post.

During this trip we got fired on by shore batteries on occassion and we had to react to various threatening small craft, etc, but this isn’t intended to be exactly a “War Story”.  More like an old movie “flash back” that I get to post about – with documentation. (Grin)

And during later trips things were much the same, but by then it was just our job.

In the terrible and very real horror of events in Paris we have gained what might be Our “Call to Arms”.  Mind you there will be those using “Paris” in confusing, silly, and troubling ways.  It was still them horrible gun things that killed folks even if explosives were used here and there.

Curious fact is Islamist must simply bring us to a point that just stupifies our own left wing folks, not that any of either lot would admit it.

Somewhere there is a struggle taking place that must be both ugly and entertaining.  That is the only way I can picture it. Others may see what I cannot.

Our own left wing appears to readily include gays, anti-gun, and a variety of racial identities seems willing to include Islamists to further thier agendas. I don’t get it.

“Paris” and/or Europe in general have been blessed with the precursors that will – emphatically – be part of our future.

So, what can we do here?

We can save any potential bloodshed by simply embracing Islam sooner rather than later. Do be careful out there though. The Shia has a different view than the Sunni and they DO kill each other?

The old Boy Scout motto “Be Prepared” offers me simple solace.  Might even include guns?

Preface: I’ve been accused of being paranoid, even by shrinks, but that’s for another time. Also I’ve always wanted to be thought of as eccentric, but I am NOT a millionaire so just NUTS is what I get called.

–

I think I’ve found my Presidential candidate folks. He has it all!

“The ‘doomsday’ weapon that could wipe out 90% of Americans: Eccentric tech millionaire and presidential candidate John McAfee says country is ‘ill prepared’ for electromagnetic attacks”

In case you don’t have the time or inclination to read the whole article I’ll offer one more quote to demonstrate his empathy for a cause most here feel strongly about:

“But if it is then surely weighing the possible deaths of 90% of our citizens due to cyber warfare against gun violence which causes fewer deaths per year than traffic accidents, seems that possibly our president is suffering an acid flashback rather than myself.”

Doesn’t that pique your interest?

Now, EMP weapons do constitute a very real threat. However, he might be exaggerating the fallout a bit.  Or maybe not? Mr McAfee make an almost cogent argument methinks. BUT he didn’t mentions aliens once in this piece so I kinda doubt his sincerity.

He does have one attribute that sets him apart from the field, and that alone makes him MY candidate if he shows up on my ballot next year.

He ain’t gonna be trying to court voters with clear half-truths and BS. He is what he is and that makes him MY candidate. A President that uses deception as readily as a thief or one that is “eccentric” but honestly eccentric? There it is.