This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Author: Hondo

  • Yer Friday Funny: An Open Letter to Urinal Operators Everywhere

    Men’s public restrooms have urinals. The reason should be obvious. But in case anyone can’t figure it out: it’s kinda due to differences in physical configuration between men and women.

    However, it seems some of the male gender have “issues” operating those relatively simple devices. Most men are already doing fine. But there are some out there that seem to need some additional guidance.

    Guys, this is for you. Read and, if appropriate, heed.

    . . .

    Urinals are a fact of male life. But some oblivions* out there appear not to “get it” with respect to their operation, and make things unpleasant for the rest.

    So, for the benefit of all, here are a few “rules of the road” for urinal operation.  Take note, and follow them.

    1. Watch your freaking aim. Most urinals are not floor-length console models. Aim accordingly.

    A drip or two on the floor is on occasion unavoidable; ditto occasional splatter. Puddles, however, are bullsh!t and are unnecessary.

    If you want to stand in a puddle while you take a whizz, go outside when it’s freaking raining. Otherwise, hit the freaking target. Hell, you’re shooting point-blank and have no excuse for missing.

    (Don’t laugh, ladies. You’re shooting point-blank too – from even shorter range. And I’ve seen evidence that leads me to believe not all ladies have perfect aim, either.)

    2. Pay attention to the business at hand (literally). Read the graffiti above the urinal after you’re done, not while taking care of business. While most can multitask, a few can’t aim while reading.

    3. Toothpicks in the urinal are a bad idea. Some crabs have learned how to pole vault. Don’t give them the opportunity.

    4. Similarly, cigarette butts don’t help either. The filters do nothing to filter out the smell. And the tobacco helps clog the damn things.

    Besides, cigarette butts take forever to disintegrate. And enough of them will clog the drain, too.

    5. TP has no business in the urinal. Don’t. Ditto coins, pens, combs, or anything else that’s not p!ss. (I guess spitting is OK if necessary.)

    6. Speaking of clogs: if the freaking thing shows signs of being backed up – don’t freaking use it, and don’t freaking flush it either. Why? See #1 above regarding puddles. Instead, use another urinal – or the toilet.

    7. Unless it’s broken or clogged, flush the damn thing when you’re done. Your p!ss doesn’t smell like lavender, Chanel, Old Spice, or Axe body wash, fella. It freaking stinks like p!ss. Flush afterwards.

    And don’t give me that “I don’t want to touch the handle because other people have touched it after they touched themselves” bullsh!t, either. That’s why there’s a sink, soap, and paper towels in the damn bathroom.

    And if there’s a problem, call maintenance to let them know. Don’t wait for someone else to do that.

    8. Don’t even think about “dropping a deuce” in the urinal. Not even as a joke. Not funny.

    9. Wash your hands afterwards. Others have to use the freaking bathroom doorknob/push plate, too. Besides, I might end up shaking hands with you later today.

    10. Dry your hands afterwards. Even if it’s clean water, no one wants to mess with a wet door.

    And hit the freaking trash can with your paper towels. They don’t improve traction in the bathroom when they’re lying on the floor.

     

    Rant over.

    . . .

    *oblivion – a clueless tool of either gender who generally wanders around oblivious to the world around them

  • So, What’s ObamaCare’s REAL Effect So Far?

    Since the passage of that   abomination   horrendous mistake   manifest stupidity   law foisting ObamaCare on the unsuspecting US public in March 2010 before it could be read (another date that should forever live in infamy), AFLAC has studied its implementation. Each year since, they’ve published a report on how employers and employees are implementing and reacting to ObamaCare.

    They recently published their 2014 report. Among the highlights:

    • 86% of employees expect their medical expenses to increase this year
    • 56% of employers raised their employee cost shares for health insurance last year
    • 59% of employers expect to do the same this year (yeah, that means some will do so for 2 consecutive years)
    • 21% of employers converted some employees from full- to part-time last year due to health insurance costs
    • 22% of employers eliminated or reduced employee benefits last year

    The executive summary for this year’s report can be viewed here. The website for the report – which includes a plethora of details as well as links to the previous 3 reports – may be found here.

    ObamaCare is working out just “oh so well”. We need to “kill it with fire” – posthaste.

    And then bury the ashes in quicklime.

     

    (Hat tip to Fox News and Sarah Hurtubise for the article that pointed me at the above AFLAC study and site.)

  • Meanwhile, Back In the Apparently-Forgotten Eastern Ukraine . . .

    . . . a shooting war seems to have broken out.

    This conflict recently appears to have been pretty much ignored by our “wonderful” mainstream media. They seem far more interested in chasing the latest “bright shiny objects” (the VA scandal and the POTUS’’s remarks concerning Syria).

    Here’s a brief summary of what’s been happening in the Eastern Ukraine recently:

    • Ukrainian forces have launched a major effort to retake the eastern Ukraine from pro-Russian separatist militias.
    • Pro-Russian separatists in the eastern Ukraine have resisted, resulting in the beginning of a de facto shooting war.
    • Pro-Russian separatists have attempted to seize the Donetsk airport, currently held by Ukrainian forces. They were repelled, with significant casualties.
    • Ukrainian forces have committed heavy artillery and jet aircraft to hostilities around the city of Slovansk.
    • The self-appointed pro-Russian mayor of Slovansk, Vyacheslav Ponomarev, has stated that a missing 4-man OSCE observer team – who were sent to an area controlled by pro-Russian forces after being told they were not welcome and should stay out – is safe, presumably in the custody of pro-Russian forces. He has promised their release, but did not specify when that would occur.
    • A Ukrainian helicopter carrying 14 – including a Ukrainian General, Serhiy Kulchyskiy – was downed by pro-Russian forces, apparently using a MANPADS.  There were no survivors.
    • Ukrainian forces – including helicopters, armored vehicles, and other combat troops – have moved towards Donetsk. The Ukrainian government has threatened to retake Donetsk by force if necessary.

    Russian forces have not yet intervened. It’s an open question at this point of whether or not they will.

    Some additional details and background can be found in this article from Fox News.

    Yeah, this one’s getting . . . kinda hot.

  • Maybe It’s Time for This Program to End

    The military services formerly sponsored auto racing as a recruiting tool.  In particular, they used to sponsor NASCAR racing.

    But in some years ago the Army, Navy, and Coast Guard all cut their ties with NASCAR.  Their sponsorship programs were expensive, and the services felt they simply weren’t getting sufficient benefit from the money spent to justify continuing the programs.

    For some reason, the National Guard didn’t.  They retained their NASCAR sponsorship program.

    The National Guard spent approximately $88 million from 2011 to 2013 to sponsor NASCAR teams.  An additional $38 million was spent to sponsor Indy car racing.

    So, how did that work out?

    Detailed numbers are available for 2012.  That year, the National Guard spend $26.5 on it’s NASCAR sponsorship.  From that, they got approximately 24,800 contacts who indicated the NASCAR connection prompted them to seek more information about signing up.

    Of those 24,800, how many even qualified to enlist?  20.

    None did.

    In 2013, the number of contacts showing NASCAR as what prompted them to inquire about enlisting dropped to about 7,500.

    The Army Times has an article with more details.

    Maybe it’s time to end this program and use the resources elsewhere.  It just doesn’t seem to be be working worth a damn.

  • So, How’s That “Economic Recovery” Coming These Days?

    In blunt terms:  it isn’t.

    Revised economic figures were just released.  They show that the US economy shrank during the 1st quarter of this year.

    Welcome back to the “good times” of 2011.  The first quarter of that year was the last time we saw that.  And we all remember how good 2011 and 2012 were, economically.

    Fox News has an article giving more details on the economy’s performance last quarter.  “The details ain’t good, either.”

    But don’t forget – those good times we’ve been hearing about for 5+ years now are just around the corner.  The current Administration will have things humming again “real soon now”.

  • More Info From that VA OIG Report on the Phoenix VAMC

    Jonn’s written an article already today about the VA Office of the Inspector General (OIG) and their report on the Phoenix VAMC released yesterday.  Here’s a few additional details from the VA’s OIG interim report.

    • Average waiting time for first appointment, as reported by the VA Hospital in Phoenix:  24 days, based on a “statistical sample of 226 veterans”, with 43% waiting longer than 14 days
    • Average waiting time for first appointment, actual:  115 days (same sample of 226 veterans), with approx 84% waiting longer than 14 days
    • Number of vets on the Phoenix VAMC “official” electronic waiting list:  1,400
    • Number of vets found to have been waiting for care but not on any  official electronic waiting list – e.g., that “secret waiting list” that Jonn mentioned in his article: 1,700

    In case you were wondering:  the “secret list” was over 20% larger than the official electronic waiting list.  Pretty neat, eh?

    Also:  it seems like “waiting time” reported to DC only started when someone went on the “official” electronic waiting list.  So, yeah – I think there just might have been something shady going on.

    If you’re interested, here is interim VA OIG report.  Only about 30 pages total, so if you want to look it over it shouldn’t take that long.

  • Yeah, That’s Just a F**king Brilliant Idea . . .

    Multiple news sources (Fox News, the Army Times) are reporting that the current Administration is “nearing a decision” on providing training and equipment for “moderate elements” of the Syrian opposition.

    And yeah:  that “training” part means “boots on the ground”.  As in Soldiers/Sailors/Airmen/Marines.  Troops.

    Hey, I get it that Assad is a thug, and hates the US. But the same is true of at least half of the Syrian opposition. And Assad doesn’t have links to al Qaeda, either – like many elements in the Syrian opposition do.

    So I can’t really see how we have any proverbial “dog in that fight”; either way it turns out, we’re all but guaranteed to have a regime running Syria that hates the US.  And a regime led by the Syrian opposition raises the possibility of Syria’s WMD’s falling into al Qaeda’s (or another Islamic extremist group’s) hands.  Frankly, I think we may be better off with Assad the Bastard running that patch of Middle Eastern dirt.

    If you seriously believe that at least some of the arms and equipment we provide to the Syrian opposition won’t end up in the hands of al Qaeda-linked elements – or that we won’t end up training a large number of folks who end up working with or for al Qaeda in the future – I’d like to talk to you about real estate. I can give you one helluva deal on a bridge.

    This is IMO a monumentally stupid idea. Regarding Syria, Shakespeare had it right around 400 years ago: “A plage o’ both your houses.”

  • Korean War MIA To Be Buried In Arlington Tomorrow

    A previous article announced the identification of PFC James R. Holmes remains. He was lost in Korea in December 1950, and was identified in January of this year.

    PFC Holmes will be buried tomorrow in Arlington National Cemetery. If you’re in the DC area and have some free time, I can certainly think of worse ways to spend an hour or two than welcoming home a MIA from Korea.

    Rest in peace, PFC Holmes.