Kevin sends us this photo of the latest Round Marine sighting. The word is that a Navy Master Chief stopped him from getting into a Marine Corps Ball in his clown suit. I’m putting this up in hopes that the photographer or the Navy Master Chief sees it and tells us the story, and hopefully, someone got his name, because we’re stumped and we want him to get the attention he deserves and obviously craves.
I did some research and found out how this guy got at least one of his WWII medals. Harken now to this story of bravery and inspiration.
No shit, there he was, in a car with his driver, LCPL Schmuckatelli, and an engineer. His mission was to deliver this passenger safely. They were heading down a steep hill and the brakes went out. The Lance Corporal and the passenger started praying, anticipating a fiery death. Not this guy though. He knew what to do.
With the sound of the sucking of a giant vaccuum cleaner he inhaled and held it. The car hit a tree with a resounding crash. When the smoke clears, the vehicle is a total loss, but Schmuckatelli and the engineer don’t have so much as a scratch on them.
That engineer’s name? John Hedrik. Hedrik would think back often to this day and in 1950 file his first patent for the airbag.
Fourragère (green/red cord looped around left shoulder) is only authorized for active duty members of 5th and 6th Marine Regiments…there are no living individuals authorized to wear it permanently.
@54
That might be necessary gear for this guy, in case the belt loses the battle, he can use it as a backup to hold that giant gut in such a way as he doesn’t end up stepping on it.
Nik, you where right in #9. That belt has definetly displayed conspicuous gallantry above and beyond the call of duty.
@52. “OnStar for competitive eating.” That’s comedy gold, right there. Consider that one stolen.
Fattest fake fuck since “Heavy Drop.”
Semper Fudge?
NHSparky: I think he’s the fattest period – even including “Heavy Drop”.
That’s a hearing aid that he is wearing. Prior to gettiing the hearing aid, he thought everyone was saying that they repealed “Don’t ask; Don’t swell”.
If you check his Facebook page, his favorite movies are Hamburger Hill and Porkchop Hill.
He is so fat, he qualifies as his own duty station.
He is so fat that he got stuck in a dream.
Someone needs to tell him that it is “No man left behind”, not “No Manwich left behind”.
Las Cruces, N.M.? That’s less than 7 hours from Phoenix!? I haven’t done a “road trip” in a while!?
I have it! I know who he is! I have identified the SV thief, at long last!
He is Hirnlösen Fettsack, the pesonal assistant to D. A. Whipitnflogit, the villain of the piece, a most nefarious fellow repeated whose attemepts to infiltrate the SEALs in the company of Vulva Doom were thwarted every time he went past the buffet table. His personal history of criminal attempts at impersonation included entering himself into various and sundry Sumo wrestling matches, posing for the “Big and Nasty” Hot Guys monthly magazine for sexually-frustrated morbidly obese women, and a stint as one of the balloons in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
That should be “whose repeated attempts to infiltrate”.
My keyboard cannot keep up with my fingers and my racing thoughts.
I count 8 service stripes(32 plus years) and a SGMJ too. Correct me if I am wrong on the years served. Joe
Well the obvious question here is why would he wear his costume to an event where everyone present would know its a fake?
Joe@69, those are Master Gunnery Sergeant (MGySgt) rank insignia, not Sergeant Major (SgtMaj). I just want to know where he wable to buy a Dress Blues blouse that large. The Korean tailors on Court Street must have put every worker on the project. Somewhere out there, there are four Marines that don’t have a Dress Blues blouse.
Gurple poses as the SGT maj while our unsub poses as a MASTER guns. See Omar the tent maker for super size Blues. Bring lots of money,thats a lot material Omar will need to use. Joe
@71
I’m thinking there’s a camping trip out there missing a tent.
If you look close enough, you will see that he is not wearing a SEAL Trident. It is actually a Walrus Badge.
The three things you can see from orbit with the naked eye are: The Grand Canyon, The Great Wall of china and this guy.
If you told this guy to “Haul ass,” He’d hafta make three trips.
Hack Stone: Damn, and I thought it was the Ahab Memorial Whaler Qualification Badge.
That dude walks into Golden Corral and the staff starts crying.
“YOU BE HEAH FO HOUR!!! YOU SCARE MY WIFE!!!”
77: that guy stops at the row of seats I’m assigned to on a plane, and I start crying!
When this guy walks into McDonald’s they send a kid outside to change the numbers on the sign.
When this guy steps on a scale it says to be continued.
When he goes dancing, the band skips.
Aw, come on, guys. Put yourselves in his postion. All of you. At the same time.
This guy is so fat that he has a homeless person living under him.
He is not on the weight control program. (Wait for it)………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
He is on the “weight out of control program”. Thank you, I’ll be here all night. Be sure to tip your waitress.
The Marines are looking for a few good men.
They’re looking for them because ole Supergut here ate them.
When you ask him what he wants on his humburger he says, “A hotdog.”
Mosquitoes take one look at him and yell, “Buffet!”
He practices safe snacks. He always uses a condiment.
When he walks across the room, the radio skips.
He qualified for enlisting under the buddy system all by himself.
Keep this guy away from any nuclear reactors or warheads. He’ll alter the reactivity by acting as a neutron reflector.
He makes fat chicks look anorexic.
Whales fear him.
No tattoo parlor will take him as a client. There is not enough ink….
He has to iron his clothes in the driveway.
Twist @94, dang that was funny. may I add that he irons his clothes with a steamroller?
When he looks for something to sit on, all the chairs suddently move themselves elsewhere.
He once sat in a Monster Truck and made it a lowrider.
Mount Everest tried to climb HIM.
He once fell over and rocked himself to sleep trying to get up again.
He goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”
Dr. Phil turned him down for food therapy on live TV.
He may not be the most interesting man in the universe, but he certainly is the most largest man in the universe.
He is trying to take away my title.
When he hauls ass, he has to make two trips.