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Steve “Snake Eyes” Jordan, MSgt Soup Sandwich’s retarded cousin

by TSO••309

This post is now a nightmare with things in the wrong place, but wanted to update with this from POW Net…

UPDATE: Oh Steve, you’ve been a bad little monkey over there on N STILES ST (Or did you move to N WOOD AVE?) in LINDEN NJ…Mom and Dad (Eleanor and William) know about your SF days? You come off probation yet for your charge of UNLAWFUL POSSESSION OF IMITATION FIREARM? Phone # still 908-943-7908, or did you get a new one? And by the way, Happy Birthday a little early (13th of this month)! And changing your DOB and SSN by 1 digit doesn’t really do much, the computers cross index by residence and a host of other factors, so that trick of changing your SSN from 152-84-xxxx to 132-84-xxxx didn’t do any good.

Don’t make me angry Steve, you wouldn’t like me when I am angry. Dude, I will go all Bruce Banner on your GI Joe ass. So, write a nice little apology, you can post it in the comments, or send it to Admin@Thisainthell.us. I’ve got more fun here, should I share it Steve?

EDIT x2: And what in the holy name of Spongebob’s necrofiliac Aunt is this huge ball of wombat sperm?

EDIT: Is this shittard wearing a turtleneck?

Earlier, back in Gotham….

This morning, in the dawn air, I saw it, the douchebag bat signal.  I swooped in and found this asshat.

Introduction

I maybe outmand but never out numbered, Country boy whose hunting skills were honed on his grandparent’s farm.He live for the hunt

Bragging rights

I love to kill terrorists when they try stupid shit

Occupation

U.S. Army Spec Ops. (APO Wolfpack)

Employment

  • U.S. Army
    First Sergeant, 1988 – present

Um yeah, ok. When not killing terrorists who do stupid shit, he’s also a ninja.

Dude can sneak in through your window and knock up your chihuahua without even making a sound.

Does have a sweet beard though.

Heroes like this need all the publicity they can get, so, please go forth and find all you can on Steve “Dusty/Snake Eyes” Jordan. He may be from Linden NJ.

Places to start your search:
Google profile.
Flicker page.
Facebook.

More mental illness after the jump.

Extra points to the first person that finds pictures of him in a hot tub with a weatherman and a dead guy with a dog collar on.

This dude is hella fun….here he is before his mission to take out Cobra HQ:

Snake Eyes, you ever shot a machine gun on peyote? Fuggin badass man.

Here he is doing his best Cross-Dresser Barbie imitation:

This may or may not be his current look:

 

Here is his Myspace.

Here is his Model Profile.

His name is Steve A. Jordan, and he is from Linden.  We’ll get his DD214, if someone could look up on AKO.  Also, I know a PI in New Jersey, so I will do a background check.


Baghdad = Mom’s House. Tell me this isn’t the same house.

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309 thoughts on “Steve “Snake Eyes” Jordan, MSgt Soup Sandwich’s retarded cousin”

  1. Must not have been able to get anything other than the ACU MATERNITY top at the local Army/Navy store. This dude is a cluster f*ck in serious need of a trip to the woodshed.

  2. Geez, FB says his page might be “temporarily unavailable”. Wonder why?
    His M-4 seems to be able to fire upward, and what’s with the gray forepiece?
    And, I love the vinyl-sided home in Baghdad? WOW, just wow….

  3. Phone number goes to a Sprint Cell Phone with a female’s voice on the Voice Mail greeting. Small wonder he prolly changed it. LOL

  5. My wife just laughed and said, “Bet you we see him on that TV show, Who the Bleep did I marry” the thing that always stands out to me on these F**Ktards is where their fingers are while holding a weapon…dead give away.

  6. Dear God….

    I swear I’ve seen this tool on the web before. I’m surprised he resurfaced. I’d swear he was taken down before.

  8. This guy used to be a door gunner on the space shuttle, that was way back when air assaulting from the International Space Station was cool. Back in OIF 1000

  9. that’s one hell of a muzzle flash! Shit I haven’t seen muzzle flash this impressive since Ahnold kicked ass in Predator. and the brass, looks like cartoon 9 mil. . .

    I’m sorry but that rainbow suit is pure slack jawed fagotry.

    Is it just me or were those the old discontinued desert storm goggles? Didn’t they stop issuing those things 15 years ago?

    Stolen Valor was invented just for this guy!

  10. I wonder if he actually reads the comments to his pics on Flickr. I decided to leave him some ‘inspiring’ comments.

    Doc Bailey: Yeah, those look like the Desert Storm goggles. Got those issued myself for that timeframe. We got much better versions for my OIF deployments. The local Army/Navy store must love him.

    The crest he is wearing on the Bret is the 5/117th Cav, assigned to the 42nd I.D. I am researching their FB pages now to see if i can see our ‘hero’ in action.

  12. Hey Doc; you can see that the muzzle flash and the spent rounds were a very poor photoshop job, yet it seems there are some people out there that believe his bullshit.

    The more I think about it, the more I conclude how very sad it is to be an adult male that has to play dress up all the time.

  14. Well, I decided to e-mail the unit (5-117th Cav) with the Flickr pic and see if he might be poser within their ranks. Let’s see if they respond.

  15. @Ordsoldier…..I was unable to locate a 5-117th Cav within the NJ ARNG? If you could please share the contact info. I’ll be happy to jump on this moving train. 🙂

  16. I’m currently at JB MDL in New Jersey. If I ever run into this guy I’m going to laugh to the point where I might piss myself. I wonder if I’ll run into him at Comic Con in NYC this year?

  18. Yeah I got to that page before Ord but I think they have gone through a reorganization since. I don’t think the 5-117th exists anymore as that particular unit. Alpha Troop is/was based in Dover NJ but the Unit in that location now is not Alpha Troop.. Anyway I am now on the Military.com page for the unit and I will work this angle to see what can be done.

  22. Here is an blurb from the 117th Cav Association Newsletter

    “The reorganization and consolidation of the 5th Squadron 117th Cavalry Regiment and the 2nd Battalion102nd Armor Regiment into the new 1st Squadron 102nd Cavalry Regiment.”

  24. Yeah, I see that…lol. But since it just reorganized under 1/102nd Cav I figured that they deserved to know if such an individual exists in their ranks. CSM Sheridan, Christopher is the new CSM as of this year for that unit. I sent him an e-mail. Figured he would want to know if such a DB exisits in his unit.

    Digging complete.

  25. Good Work. I was merely referring to the Military.com post. I put that post up on the 117th Cav page. 🙂

  27. I have come to the logical conclusion that this douchenozzle has never served at any time, in any unit. Although Msgt Soup Sammich had served and his uniform was a complete cluster, I just have a gut feeling about this little bastard not ever making it out of BT, if he did try to serve.

  28. Hey I think I recognize this guy. We served together in Seal Team 32, Electric Boogaloo. We were jumping HALO style over Antarctica with flamethrowers to hunt for nazi war criminals who were harboring Vietnam POW’s.

    I bet this guy is a Ron Paul fan.

  29. Utah next time some warning please. Mt Dew all over my monitor is not really a good idea. ROFL

  30. Hey Utah Vet….or should I call you Agent Orange…..?

    Didn’t you help us hunt down Col. Wat da Phuck in the Ding Dong Ditchum Delta??

  34. prob one of the many who washed outta basic/AIT…. found some old fotos of his Dad maybe and fotoshopped them… he aint the first and he def wont be the last to pose… what a shame… like the old Marine LCPL from WW2/Korea who joined the VFW(?) posing as a retired 2-star…

  36. The Marine did his misdeeds down Louisiana way about, oh, 6-7 years ago I think… and believe it or not there ARE still some DS goggles out there… Cuz y’all know many NG & Reserve units dont get new shit all that often! hahaha!

  38. This new little turd is pimping the Corps, but decked out Army, sporting a long tab and tags-still-on-fresh ACU’s.

    Guess you’ve got to be high speed to woo ‘MiszThicknesz’.

  41. If you look at some of those pics someone put up (the marine photo) it’s obvious this dude is really gay. No, like… he’s san francisco, village people kinda gay.

  42. Here’s what’s going to bust my balls–by impersonating LEO, he’s committing a felony. By impersonating a member of the military, there’s no crime involved, at least according to the 9th Circuit (yes, I know NJ isn’t in jurisdiction of 9th.)

    Either way, the little moron needs a good stomping. I’m so sick of these phony fucktards.

  43. Fella needs all the attention he craves. Expose him for what he is a fucktard and a numpty fuck. Expose, Expose Expose. Give him his wanting craving attention.

  44. Wow, there is a comment stuck in spam right now, that highlights this assclowns pr0n site. I kid you not. This dude is MESSED up.

  45. why dont you guys leave me alone i did nothing to any of you now everything is messed up and everyone is aksing me about this i am a recruiter for tjhe army now and nothing else i ddint put those pictures up the of myself someone else did and you should be proud of me anywhyas where is all of the comradery??? i cannot Beleive you guys did this!!! everyone keeps sending me tio this site and asking me what is going on and i tell them nothing because i am who i am and i like it. you cant handle that then thats find i am not complanin.

  46. Bullshit, assclown. You aren’t a recruiter for the Army, if you are the one in those pictures. You did nothing to any of us? Um, putting that uniform on did something to everyone that wore that uniform honorably. That’s what you will never understand. If you want to play dress up, fine, but take that tape off above the left pocket that says US Army, because you didn’t earn it, and stop with the bullshit bravado in your photoshopped pictures making it look like you’re firing a real weapon when you are holding a plastic toy (and no, that ain’t fucking Iraq, either), plus with your lame-ass beard and saying you’re “waiting for the call to come in” like you’re some sooper trooper undercover brother. You ain’t shit.

    Stop being a total douche and we’ll leave you alone, but only after you apologize to every Veteran and current soldier right here on this site.

    Time to man up.

  47. my whole life has to be changed because of all of you everything is different in the past few days now. i have to be redeployed to viginia and sign a new contract to be a recruiter i was over in the sand pit just like all of you why do i have to say sorry? i was there just like all you gusy were there i am a soldier too and a former marine corps member i am a e-8 so show me more respect private!!!! you can never take away my soldier abilities I AM AN AMERICAN SOLIDER I AM A MEMBER AND AN UNIT OF A TEAM! i WILL NEVER ACCEPT DEFET I WILL ALWAYS PROTECT MY ARMS MY EQUPMENT AND MY SELF I WILL NEVER QUIT I VOW TO PROTECT EVERY MAN AND WOMAN AND CHILD WHO IS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN! I AM AN AMERICAN SOLDIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOAH NOW GET AT ATTENTION OR IN THE HALF RIGHT LEANING REST!!!!!!!!!!!

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