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Weekend Open Thread

by Jonn Lilyea••235

WOT

WOT2

So, if you’re wondering about the remodel, the contractor said that we can move into the new bedroom on Monday – yes, it’s been going on for the last seven weeks. Those of you who have been here wouldn’t recognize the place now.

The pictures this week are brought to you by Toasty Coastie and Frankie, respectively. I’m out for the day, have a ball.

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235 thoughts on “Weekend Open Thread”

    2. OFFICIAL RULING
      Marine_7002: Please be advised that the first comment to appear in a WOT is not recognized, by rule, as first unless the commenter declares First! Yours is a particularly sad case inasmuch as your commented appeared long before another. But rules are rules.

      As for USAF Ret and Claw, we appear to have a tie. Both comments containing the declaration “First” appeared at 1:46 pm, EST. USAF Ret could have been the official first this week had he not misspelled the word first. He also could have been first by writing the word first instead of “it” in his 1:45 pm comment. And since seconds are not used here for time posted determinations, we indeed have a tie.

      As always, this ruling is not subject to appeal

      1. A tie. Good enough for me.

        I didn’t want to do a three way split on the Power Ball winnings under any circumstances.

        Now if we could only get Hondo to fess up with the winning numbers, USAF Ret and I would be in tall cotton.

  4. Shit, I hit refresh, and you SOB’s beat me. I’ll go over to Bernath’s blog and be first to comment. Nobody ever goes to his page.

        3. More like you’ll get a case of Gonnosyphaherpaclap from going there, FUCK the DRG!

          2. I thought it was herpegonnasyphillaids.

            You had me worried for a second there.

    2. With no interest in giving the DRG any readership, I have yet to see their site. A couple of others, who have gone there, tell me that it is loaded with lies, with nothing much true about me, showing that they know less about me than the average stranger does. Do they really show a strange attraction to bestiality?

      1. Have you ever seen that episode of The Simpsons where Homer sets up his own website. Homer being Homer, his web design skills are just as good as Daniel Bernath’s courtroom skills, so his blog is a bunch of random stuff (flying toasters and dancing Jesus images, etc). Daniel Bernath’s page is not that good. If he prepares for trial like he designs a web page, it is no wonder that they pulled his license.

        1. Daniel A. Bernath the Fred Phelps clone strikes me as the type that would run over his own foot with his lawn mower and then sue the manufacturer over it. Hell, it’s like taking off in an airplane sans enough fuel to make it to the next airport and then suing the airplane’s manufacturer after crashing. WAIT, never mind…

      2. Cee… I made the mistake of hitting a link here one day ??
        My head is still spinning Lol…

  8. That 6 inch target was shot from 75 yards With a .22 Henry Carbine lever gun, from a kneel, using the sling to stiffen my stance. I used my 2X $20.00 Bushnell scope. It would put a hurt on a Brain Housing Group.

  10. As per the rules, the comment must contain the word “First” in order to count.

    Therefore, I declare First.

    Don’t believe me? Just wait until 2/17 Air Cav shows up.

    He’ll set all of you straight.

      1. Looks to me like 1:46 pm on the First/FIRST are a match.

        I’ll split the Power Ball moola with ya once Hondo gives up the winning numbers. OK? We got a deal?

        1. Sounds good to me as long as it dies not need to be split 3 ways with Jarine_7002

  12. Another week amongst the corn and bean fields. I wouldn’t say there isn’t much to do here, but to quote Checkov from “Wrath of Khan”,

    “Captain, this is the garden spot of Ceti Alpha VI!”

    1. Sounds like you’re in Pulaski County, Indiana.

      Myself and Twist’s old stomping grounds.

              1. Central IL. Again, I wouldn’t say there isn’t much to do here, because that would be a lie. There’s NOTHING to do here. Casa de SEA right now is a suitcase. At least the hotel WIFI is decent enough I can even stream Netflix every once in a while.

                1. If you’re still there during football season, there are many small colleges within 1 – 2 hours drive that have decent teams. If nothing else, they didn’t cost one tenth as much as an NFL game cost when I was there.
                  Don’t overlook the farm ponds and such for bass fishing.
                  If you’re there a long time, there are some huge herds of whitetails.
                  I’m not in the Chamber of Commerce, it’s just I was Chanuted on for over 5 years. If I didn’t find something to do I would have gone crazier.

                  1. I was Chanuted on for close to 8 months for training. If you can’t shoot ’em, Chanute ’em. One friend from basic had never seen snow in her life until we arrived there. In February. That was fun.

                2. SEA, well, if there’s really, really, nothing to do and you want to see 200 more miles of corn/bean fields, take a trip almost straight east from there to Fairmount, Indiana.

                  Not only is Fairmount the hometown of James Dean (if you’re a fan, there is a museum to him in town), but there is a UH-1 Helicopter sitting at the AL Post there that I flew on. Not just the kind of a bird I flew on, but by serial number, she was one of the birds we had in the First Flight Platoon of my company in Vietnam while I was there. It is decked out with our Black Widow company markings and is pretty spiffy looking. The AL Post also has an M-60 Tank and a F-4 Phantom on display there.

                  Again, just something to do if you’re really, really bored and willing to make a 400 mile round trip.

                1. Watch out for the Macon County Line.

                  I never had the chance to see that movie. Did Jethro do a good job directing it?

                2. Macon County Fair will be coming up before long. Stick around for it. Should be a hoot.

                  1. If you’re a “Railnerd” like me, there is great train-watching at the Rochelle Railroad Park which is at the junction of a two-track C&NW main (now UP) which crosses a CB&Q (now BNSF) main that sees 50-80 trains a day.

                    1. I grew up in those stomping grounds. Well, the county containing that Railroad Park, and the county that’s reminiscent of a motor home.

                2. And in this weather, too. Well, if you ever go by the Elwyn grain elevator, wave at it for me, will you?

                    1. That’s what the signs say when I look at it on Google Maps.

                      Lots of outfits like that around in my old Hoosier home area.

                      I worked at places like that in my youth also. Mayhew Coal&Grain and the Gutwein Milling Company come to mind.

  13. I miss dilly dallas the falling purple thunder cunt., where is he? hahahahahahah.

    1. One can only hope he got his horn stuck in behind a group of Warlocks bikers.

    2. Some gator whispered a tale to me that the dumbass stopped to get a six-pack. While he was inside the establishment, some other gator stuck a long wire into the universal on the pickup he was driving. When he tried to drive away, he couldn’t.

      But what do I know?

  16. Q: What kind of automobile does Daniel Bernath drive?

    A: A Lincoln Incontinental!

  18. And lest we forget the prima maxima douchebagus that is Dan Bernath, let’s all wave to him as he peruses the contents herein.

    No, fucktard, we haven’t forgotten about you, nor has the state of California. Just one week closer to the inevitable disbarrment you so richly deserve.

    I hear you’re such a pussy that you won’t even go into the produce section of the local Winn-Dixie, for fear you might see a coconut.

    Personally, I’d be more afraid that the muskrat you nailed to your face might wake up and not want to play your neckbeard anymore. Mix in a razor once in a while. Then again, if you did, you might think about how fucked up you are, and then…

    Oh well. Rustle, rustle, bitch.

  19. Daniel Bernath goes to the psychiatrist, and tells him “Doctor, I don’t know whether I live in a teepee or a wigwam.” The psychiatrist replies “I am more concerned about your inability to read a fuel gauge.”

  20. Lovely day here in my kingdom. Kodak blue sky, greens of summer…. and they took my Kodachrome away.

    Life will never be the same again.

    1. This week, he’s asking the judge to recuse herself because she’s judging him.

      I believe that I am entitled to a jurist who does not rule in this fashion and seek, apparently, to go out of her way to insult a pro per plaintiff and create evidence that does not exist.

      3. Did Daniel Betnath develop his people handling skills by copying George Costanza?

      5. This is a deadly serious problem as defendants have attempted to kill me and anyone else that is in the way as mere collateral damage. It indeed sounds fanciful but I will present expert witnesses that show my aircraft was sabotaged so as to crash with a full tank of fuel with Sam’s Club and the Fort Myers Templeton Elementary School in its path.

          1. (reposted from above)
            When someone says: “My psychiatrist says that I sound like a paranoid delusional.”
            Wouldn’t that pretty well lock it in?
            He doesn’t have to make that shit up, it just magically appears in his wandering mind.

        2. Uh… wha-a-a-t!???!

          What the hell is he talking about?

          Oh, never mind. Sorry I asked. Forget it.

        3. Jonn, there’s got to be a link to that drivel… share it with us, PLEASE!!!

          1. Only the privileged few get to read his court filings. We who do, have no need for comedy TV, as this keeps us rolling on the floor. But here is another tidbit for you to peruse:
            ” The issues before this Court include attempted murder, domestic terrorism, the American Legion nationally being taken over by these domestic terrorists, former US Navy SEALS and multiple attempts to kill him or threaten my life. “

            1. So he switches between referring to himself in the first person and third person?

              Daniel Bernath is so stupid, he thinks that legal briefs are underwear that he did not shoplift from Goodwill.

        4. Can Dan Bernath be considered an expert witness on a “full tank of fuel”?

          1. Well, possibly. Based on the old saw, saying: “We learn from our mistakes.” This could be true, were it not for the fact that this does not include those who are dumber than a stump, and insist on doing the same dumb shit over, and over, and over.
            So, in summary, Hell no, he is no expert on anything other than being just a pain in the neck, vexatious litigant.

          1. Sweet Mother of all that is holy.

            Please, God, smite this idiot (pointing to Dan)

        6. Three words:
          Booger eating moron.

          I can’t fathom why anyone who has ever been in a personal relationship with him 1–continues to do so, 2–the lengths to which they will go to avoid or disavow him.

          I mean, fuck–dude’s own daughter blocked his ass on Facebook. How fucking shitfuckingtastictarded do you have to be to achieve that level of douchebaggery?

          And Dan, ease up on the Tupac, “Only God can judge me,” shit. First, Tupac is still dead. Second, in a courtroom, the judge IS God, right or wrong. Guess you skipped that day in law school, eh?

      1. K. The forestry service has a lot of them around here set up these guys are a pain in the Ass

      2. They’ve been coming through my window screens late in the day, so I have to shut the windows at sunset to keep the moths out.

        1. The bag guy made it.. He was impressed but said he has seen wose…
          So next week we go back to the big AZ for the girls check ups and he is going to bomb the place and dust the crawl space. Found out we had a few chipmunks living in the crawl space but they left for greener pastures… My fingers are crossed

    2. Skippy, Bing has all sorts of remedies for getting rid of the things. I don’t think we gotz ’em here in MN.

      1. That or Bernath the Fred Phelps clone or *SLUUURRP!*QuEeFeRs41 shat flaming squirrels in said forest.

        ((((OVER))))

        1. But how would he light them without fuel? slurpQueefer maybe. Thinking Johnny is our man behind the kitten lighting. Hope one runs up his pants leg. Or under his getaway vehicle…

  23. Saw this morning that the Brits told the EU to kick rocks. Good for them!

    1. Other countries may follow. There were photos of people holding signs that said, and I quote:

      ‘WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACK’

      I wonder why.

    2. There may not be a stampede for the exit, but other countries (e.g., France) are rumbling and grumbling and giving it due consideration.

  25. Fkck You Dan!
    Psul, Kiss my pasty white ass.
    LonGeRanGe SchLuRPer. – Lick my Taint.

    /that is all.

    1. One of three entrants for “First Annual 2016 Gash Cuntzman Libtard Propagandist of the year” Award.
      And no, I didn’t mis-spell anything.
      And the “Gash” is an insult, too.

  27. 78th!

    Sucka’s …

    Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

    So, some of you have been wondering where I have been lately …

    I have been in hiding because I am SO AFRAID of who may cometh (and never comes), the legal genius and wrath of lawyers under the care of psycho doctors and little house boys who once claimed to be in the USMC.

    Plus, I have been working a fairly important job, doin’ family stuff and planning a trip to Florida.

    So there you have it, pretty boring stuff.

    BUY POPCORN … I will be reporting live from Florida!

    OUT!

      1. My bad, I should have said “10-4, ROGER-WILCO, OVER AMD OUT!”

        ((((OVER))))

    4. Over. You forgot to say over.

      I’ll be doing a trip with the family thus summer as well, out to some old stomping grounds not in Florida. Lots of theme parks, lots of relatives, lots of laughs.

      Should be a good one. Now I just gotta maintain my sanity until then.

    5. Plus, you didn’t transmit on the WQC-2 or send an ELF. How the hell are we supposed to catch the broadcast if we’re deep and ultraquiet?

      1. Didn’t you get the memo from the TAH Cadre? PU-2U2 with PX-232 sequence.

        1. The code for this weekend is sponsored by U of South Carolina engineering server.

          They have a public log on:

          Use this code:

          TAH BLUE RED 987(*&+@#

          The server will ask for verification.

          Use the standard TAH code for Weekend Open Threat … we posted it 2 week ago here.

          Birth dates work too.

          OVER

  28. I have the genuine Army recipe (Number K-75 from the Master Menu) for SOS available for publication if anyone is interested.

    Word of warning, though. The recipe may be a few decades old, as it says boot leather or K-Ration cardboard is an acceptable substitute for the meats if no animal flesh can be foraged from the countryside./ Smile.

  29. Another week has gone by and the Dutch Rudder Gang STILL hasn’t found me. Hell, they couldn’t find their own asses at high noon with GPS and a searchlight. They continue to GO FUCK THEMSELVES without being told. ?

  30. All requisitions filled. My supply room has been restocked.

    Adequate supplies of P-38’s, P-51’s, Mess Hall Coffee Cups and 10 ounce Mess Hall Tumblers are now on hand for the next TAH West get-together.

    Cups and Tumblers came from new-old stock. At least pre-1977 (although I failed to look at the lot number prior to tossing the boxes) as the part numbers listed on the label were Federal Stock Numbers, not NATO/National Stock Numbers.

    1. At a recent veterans’ dog and pony, someone was handing out free replica P-38’s to anyone who knew what one was. The confused wannabe standing next to me told me we didn’t know what we were talking about as he showed me a picture of a P-38 Lightning on his smart phone.

      1. ROFL.

        The P-38’s and 51’s I have are the genuine Shelby Corporation article.

        There’s no substitute for the real thing.

        1. Well, not really Shelby Corporation.

          Shelby is the name of the town in Ohio that took over the operations after the Mallin Company went tits up.

          So it’s really the Shelby Company stamp on the world’s greatest invention.

        2. So the Top Ten handiest pieces of Military gear –

          1. The P38 Can Opener
          2. The WOOBIE (Poncho Liner)
          3. Leatherman or Gerber Multitool
          Neeeeext?

          1. Condom. Will keep moisture out/in anything. Even used in nuclear power plants for radiological isolation.

            If I’m lying, I’m dying.

          2. US Government SKILLCRAFT “Quality Blind Made Products” Retractable Ball Point Pen:

            1. 8 pieces in total
            2. When disassembled can be fashioned in to multiple items
            3. Each piece individually has multiple uses
            4. Used in its original form can last for years and has ability facilitate hundreds of letters “written home”

            That is all!

        1. It’s simple and just like the first time I used chop sticks (or finger extenders if you prefer). I asked my buddies if I was using them correctly; they asked me if I was getting food into my mouth. I said I was, so they said, I was using them correctly.

  31. The best way to fly a plane is to take off without fuel, makes it nice and easy.

    1. By rule of law, since my post was the first to independently declare itself the first, by that I mean that it was not a reply, I win this week!

  38. When someone is whistling, do you ever have the desire to stick a baby carrot in their mouth?

  39. Anyone here a Police Officer in Washington State? I just finished my written and physical test (and passed them) and was wondering how long it takes until you hear a reply back from any agencies you applied for.

  40. Tom is wearing a red shirt and a white cowboy hat.

    The cat is taking a nap on the windowsill.

    Jesse ate a Patty Melt for lunch.

    ((((OVER))))

  41. In the realm of bullshit, I have received five calls this past week from the ‘law enforcement division of the IRS’. My house and movement are being closely monitored. The computer generated voice tells me a warrant has been issued for my arrest and I will soon be in custody if I do not call the given number to discuss the taxes I owe. I am threatened with having my banking account frozen and losing my house. Now, I know this is bullshit, but how about the elderly couple or elderly widow or widower who are scared to death because they believe the threats to be real? These white collar criminals are scum. They prey upon the unsophisticated and elderly because they are thought to be trusting of authority. I’d like to throat punch them. I wonder how many they rope in every day, emptying their bank account? Brothers and Sisters, pass the word to your elderly (?) parents, siblings, friends and everyone you care about, telling them the IRS will NEVER contact them via phone. They will send a certified or registered letter. Follow up calls may be made via phone after initially making contact via snail mail. Fuck them. May they burn in hell.

    1. So far, if the IRS tally is correct, these thieves have collected over $5 millions, maybe more and scammed over 1100 people who were foolish enough to be taken in by this crap.

      Here’s the IRS’s website about this crap: https://www.irs.gov/uac/stay-vigilant-against-bogus-irs-phone-calls-and-emails

      TIGTA is the other reporting site. Use it: https://www.treasury.gov/tigta/contact_report_scam.shtml

      You report it whether or not you forked over cash. The phone number and state where it originated matter. It’s a robocall, nothing else. This is one time a stream of vivid vituperation is valid and very in vogue.

      1. Every one I received had a slight Russian/Eastern European accent. I’m tempted to answer the phone one day and give them my tax lawyer’s phone number. Or the IRS’s!!

        (^__^)

    2. I had one close his drivel with the following,

      “May you have a blessed day”

      Right then and there, I knew it wasn’t the IRS…

  42. The gods at University of California, Berkeley, sent me to this site to save you gun clinging, bible clinging, flag clinging, extra pigmented necked people living under the flight paths, over this country. My job is to grace you guys with my awesome Berkeley education and to show you guys the way to Berkeley enlightenment.

    With my presence, you guys are in good hands.

    1. ‘The financial world was in turmoil, not to mention the political world, both in Europe (where it is feared that other members of the EU may soon vote to leave) and in the USA, where President Obama once again proved his lack of forecasting skills when he warned the Brits that if they leave the EU, they would be “… forced to the back of the queue for trade talks.” Really? Is that how we will treat our greatest ally who is always there to watch our back when we need them? I think not.’ – MMA Weekly Cycles Preview for 6/24/2016.

      Politically-speaking, this is not good for Hillary Clinton, and it is good for Donald Trump, because the Dollar now goes up. As discussed in the Forecast Books and webinars, if the Dollar peaks out within six months of January 2017, it favors a Republican being elected president. And now, after the Brexit vote, all safe haven financial vehicles go up (US Dollar, Gold, and US Treasuries)… – MMA Weekly Cycles Preview for 6/24/2016.

      I could say about bodaprez’s business-as-usual stoopid remarks, but I’m in a good mood and don’t want to spoil it. All he does is show his ignorance and incompetence to the entire world. Now, he’s on his way gone. And he’d better stay gone….

      G’Night, everyone.

    2. I would much rather attempt to stuff a wet spaghetti noodle up a live Bobcat’s ass while locked in a phone both than suffer through a B. Hussein 0bama speech. That being said, I’ve seen all kinds of articles linked to Drudge today about how the rest of the self coronated Euro-elite are going bonkers over the Brexit and according to another link the world’s richest have lost an estimated $120+ Billion. I hope George Soros is among them and I look forward to seeing him die and go to hell.

        1. Oh well, he’s very old and ought to drop dead very soon. I’d piss all over his grave faster than I would on Jane Fonda’s

          1. Any man who sold out fellow Jews to the Nazis is going to have a very “friendly” reception when they get to hell.

            With a pineapple. Fronds first.

  44. Movie trivia for the weekend:

    In the first “Back to the Future” movie, the farm where Marty arrives belongs to a man named Peabody, whose son is named Sherman.

    They were named in tribute to Sherman and Mr. Peabody, the time travelers of cartoon fame.

    1. In that same vein:

      http://backtothefuture.wikia.com/wiki/Twin_Pines_Mall

      Twin Pines Mall, later known as Lone Pine Mall, was the location that Doc Emmett L. Brown chose to show Marty McFly the new DeLorean time machine he had invented.

      At 1:21 a.m. on October 26, 1985, Doc’s dog, Einstein, becomes the world’s first time traveler leaving behind a pair of fire trails after the DeLorean accelerated to the necessary 88 miles per hour.

      During the experiment, Doc became nostalgic and remembered that Old Man Peabody used to own the land on which the mall sat in 1985. He noted that Peabody bred pine trees as a hobby.

      When Marty traveled to 1955, he accidentally ran over one of a pair of pine trees in Mr. Peabody’s front yard. When Marty returned to 1985, there was only one pine tree at the front of the mall and as a result the mall’s name was changed to Lone Pine Mall.

      1. OK, so now I am totally confused!

        Did this actually happen at the mall?

        Were the Lybian terrorist captured, interrogated and executed before anyone knew they were in custody?

        Shit, I was in the Navy during this period and had zero knowledge of this incident!

  45. API: Re Soros, I want to see him on a corner with a sign proclaiming his veteran status and begging for money. Problem is, the masses know little to nothing about him. A greater problem is they wouldn’t care if they did know.

  46. Finally.

    It took a while and as long walk.

    But my dog just dropped a huge, oozy and very disgusting (and disturbing) steaming POOL of Phil Monkress.

    Phildo should be proud. His name is a byword amongst future government contractors.

    And odd patrons at rest stop men’s rooms.

  47. A Blast from the Past:

    MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:
    March 21, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    Ok … I think I have you beat. Today, I received a letter from lawyer Bernath. I read it and almost fell down because I became light headed because I was laughing so hard. I will address it later but there is one thing everyone should know. When you talk to him can not speak ’til he says “over”. This is a no shitter and this is what happened in the first minute of the second call after he hung up on me during call # 1.

    I called back to tell him that I needed to answer his demand.

    He said, “I will talk to you if you don’t yell”. I said, “fair enough”. He said, “no, no, no don’t answer until I say OVER”.

    MCPO: What?
    DB: I said, don’t answer until I said OVER, like in aviation communications.
    MCPO: What?
    DB: I am serious!
    MCPO: OK …
    DB: I did not say OVER!
    MCPO: OVER!
    DB: NO, I talk … when I am done I say OVER!
    MCPO: OVER!
    DB: If you want to talk do what I say!
    MCPO: Over?

    Yes … This is how it went.

    He is a certified MORON of the highest order!

    This is a NO SHITTER!

    PS: Bernath … I WILL see you in court!

    By the way he believes SREYWAL are some kind of specialized team that I have assembled to do him harm. Argh … He is not only a really bad lawyer he is not very smart!

  48. Here is a wee little update on Dress Up Clown, Phony US Army Officer, Made Up Bronze Star Recipient and Man-In-Charge of Phony USMC Cabana Boys … Gregory Charles Banks: https://www.azuse.cloud/?p=39262

    Seems all the work we did on him stuck pretty hard.

    He is no longer listed as a National Board for Certified Counselors: http://www.nbcc.org/verify

    And … he was sanctioned by the State of Connecticut. We contributors at TAH worked closely with witnesses and those persons violated by Banks noted in the attached sanction document while providing evidence to authorities with jurisdiction. You can review the official sanction document here: https://df7s0hkt8o8r9.cloudfront.net/media/english/pdf/sanctions/HGPYF6277934DABA4E77806192015.pdf

    The Banks case was used specifically as a prime example of how and why the State of Connecticut needed a Stolen Valor Law. It now has it … Jonn apparently knows of the State Representative who wrote and sponsored the bill that eventually passed.

    As for Alex the Phony USMC Cabana Boy, Legal Representative, Public Affairs Official and Police Report Conveyor for Banks (who attempted to bribe me … captured on tape), he was so frighten by “figures of speech” used here at TAH he filed a police report because he (and presumably Banks) felt threatened. I now see why his phony USMC career lasted so long.

    They are perfect for each other. I wish them well. They were never threatened … but they were exposed!

    Oh, before I forget …

    There is one other minor detail you should all know and I will leave it up to your discretion on appropriate follow up … Greggy Boy now has a refreshed web site and he has a dog called “PUMBA” clad in US Army digital cammo with corresponding “PUMBA” name tape.

    According to the Banks web site about PUMBA: “Trained veterns PTSD Support Animal”

    Further, the web site also goes on about Banks’ experience: “Gregory has extensive experience working with adults and children in individual, couples, family, and group settings. Gregory is experienced in working with a wide range of mental health issues. He has additional specialty training to assist clients who are recovering from traumatic experiences, veterans, police and emergency service personnel”.

    Here is his newly refreshed web site … his make-over: http://www.gbankscounseling.com/home

    We should support Banks by bringing the much needed attention to his practice and chosen profession, after all he has worked so hard to advance it to this level.

    OVER

    1. The best deal out of Gregory’s reworked website is that if you make an appointment with him and he has to make a house call, you can’t pay him with your insurance carrier.

      That’s right. Spot cash, under the table, is the only authorized payment for him having to make a house call.

      What a deal. Where’s my phone? I need to make an appointment right now!!

      As a bonus, after you pay him cash, Pumba drops a steaming load on your living room carpet as a Thank You.

      1. House calls, cash only …

        Sounds more like an illegal and filthy massage service!

        1. The cash only filthy massage is a given, especially when Gregory shows up for the house call with Alex the Cabana Boy as his combination chauffer/Pumba dog walker.

          1. Well, any at home massage that has a happy ending, regardless of the individual’s sexual orientation or identification, is highly desirable.

            Gregory and Alex simply fill that need, (or the void as it were) by providing prompt, courteous service, for a reasonable price.

            1. Ex, Creepy good or creepy bad?

              I hope not creepy bad because I’m truly trying to only inject a little Ha-Ha humor into the mix.

              Or am I overthinking your comment? Help me out here.

              2. Well, it’s not really you. It’s the idea that these people of questionable character are offering to come to YOUR house and ‘counsel’ you. And of course, you have to be alone when they do.

                Something like this would send me right off to the gunshop for a big, cold, short-barreled one.

                1. Roger. Message received.

                  Concur wholeheartedly with your assessment and need to visit a shop.

                  Got caught up for a minute in an attempt to ridicule those losers for what they are and will put a little more thought next time into what I’m trying to convey.

                  Thanks for putting it into a proper perspective. Sometimes what I think is dry/wry humor doesn’t always come out that way.

                2. Mo problem. Sometimes, I start to post something, then reread it and decide to delete it, just because it seems a little off to me.

                  We’re all just human, right?

                  1. Yep. For the most part we’re still all human.

                    All except for the DRG. They do seem to be a little off-world at times.

                    Like from Uranus or the Klingon Home World.

                3. I’m thinking a snub-nosed .38 six-chamber revolver, sort of in the Madigan style (S&W Model 10).

                  1. There’s nothing wrong with a .38 Snubnose Revolver for self-defense, Mrs Infidel®™ still has hers from before we met and I bought her a Ruger LCP in .380ACP which is another very good CCW sidearm, I spent the extra money on hers for some Crimson Trace™ Lasergrips which can scare a would-be attacker into submission or fleeing without having to fire a shot.

    2. “Oh, before I forget …”

      Very Columbo of you Master Chief, and we’ll done.
      I’m more of a Rockford guy, myself.

      1. Yes, I do the Columbo thing for effect … however I am more Jim Rockford as I have more than once woken up in an over heated trailer, screamed “holy crap, I am late”, rolled over and kissed her goodbye, threw on my pants, jumped in my muscle car and drove away never to be seen again!

        OVER

  49. 200th!!

    Dan, beware of dangerous fruit. Take that full tank of fuel, use it for bath water and light a match.

    Lars, go away…you’re better when you are not around.

    Frankie, you think I forgot you? No…take a swim in a vat of acid.

    Dennis, go on a diet…a cheese-free diet….rest of the food not allowed either.

    Paul….sober up, wear something not made out of leather and paint a bullseye on yourself and your mail box.

    Dallas…make sure your chute is empty before you jump.

    Rest of you posers….drop off the planet.

    everyone else….have a nice day.

    1. Ya know, I saw an ad on E bay that made me think “That would be perfect for *SLUUUURRRP!*41”.

      FOR SALE: Parachute, used once, never opened.
      ON SALE 1/2 PRICE

  50. Just got through watching another one of Becky’s Homestead videos. She makes a quiche with goat cheese, which I have to try.

    But the following item is easy to make and good in hot weather.

    Chopped Salad:

    Fresh veggies: zucchini, yellow squash, radishes, cucumber, bell peppers, celery, green onions, Bermuda (red) onions, tomatoes, broccoli stems.

    Wash, cut into chunky bite-sized pieces and mix together. Add some diced ham, and if you want to add a small amount of cooked short pasta like rotini add that, too.

    Mix well, season with garlic salt and coarse black pepper and mix again. Squeeze the juice of a fresh lemon onto it (one or both halves, depending on the size of the salad), and add some extra virgin olive oil.

    Mix well, put on a plate, add some crostini or bruschetta or crackers (whatever) and enjoy your meal.

    Beverages: ice tea, water or iced coffee. Try to avoid the sugar.

    For dessert: watermelon, grapes, fresh pears, oranges, strawberries.

    Nice on a hot day and it keeps well if it’s in a bowl covered with plastic wrap in the fridge.

    1. Yeah, after a day outside, food is the last thing on my mind. Hydration, OTOH, still ranks up there.

      Salads, fruits, and cold stuff in the evening might be the trick.

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