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Eric Wolfe; phony veteran

by Jonn Lilyea••151

Eric Wolfe

Rachel sends us a link to the story of Eric Wolfe out in Arizona who has found himself in a bit of a mess there. According to the state Department of Transportation, he tried to get a veteran designation on his driver license and specialty plates designating the same using a forged DD 214;

At one time, Wolfe partnered with a Valley nonprofit benefiting animals to train dogs for veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder, using his story of a military career and subsequent PTSD.

In March, Wolfe supplied a falsified DD Form 214, the document a member of the military gets when being formally discharged, to a Motor Vehicle Division representative when applying for the driver license designation reserved for veterans. Alerted by investigators from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Office of Inspector General that Wolfe never served in the U.S. Air Force, as he has claimed, ADOT detectives started an investigation and determined that the form was forged.

Wolfe used the same forged military document to apply for two specialty license plates designated for veterans, one for his vehicle in March and one for a newly purchased motorcycle about two months later.

Dude looks to be a border-line midget, I guess he figured he’d not get caught if he said he was Air Force it would be more believable than one of the other services.

Eric Wolfe2

The Arizona DOT wants to talk to you if you made donations to Wolfe, there’s contact information at the link.

ADDED: From ABC13;

Wolfe claimed he had suffered from PTSD himself after a deployment to Afghanistan as a canine bomb handler.

Dogs and PTSD – like no one thought of that before.

From KTAR;

Earl Fisher with ADOT said Wolfe used the paperwork of a veteran to forge his own copy.

“He took this (form), belonging to another veteran, and placed his own name and Social Security number on it,” Fisher said.

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151 thoughts on “Eric Wolfe; phony veteran”

  1. WHAT MOS would he qualify for being that short, Tire Inflation Specialist?

      1. I say, everyone of this phony bastards should be sentenced to 4 years hard labor, if they don’t like that, they can do their 4 years in the military like the rest of us….YOUR CHOICE SHYT HEADS!! That should put a stop to these phonies!

  2. That photo… LOL.

    Did anyone inform the USAF that something has escaped out of Area 51?

    1. Word.

      Dude looks like one of those creatures in the grab bin from the movie Toy Story.

    2. Oh my goodness that made me spew the almonds I was chewing!!!! I was trying to find a way to phrase the way this thing looks… YOU NAILED IT! Thanks for the laughs.

    3. I think he plays one of the little dinosaurs with Barney, some show my kids watch.

  3. Dude is tit height.

    And, that’s about the only good thing I could come up with about him.

    2. I bet his favorite pickup line is “Gee, your hair smells terrific!”, then he gets the shit slapped out of him

  4. Not tall enough to join the Coast Guard. He was a chock block tech in the AF.

    1. I came here to say that.
      He’s almost not big enough to even be used as a wheel chock for our forklifts or a K-Loader.

  6. Camp Lejeune, 1994, 25 mile hump. I am 6’1″ and I shit you not the Marine in front of me was his size. Try that out. Poor bastard had to take a 4:1 step ratio to keep up. But keep up he did.

    1. When I was in training in Pensacola in 2002, there was a guy like that, too. I’m only 5’7″ but I towered over this guy. Everyone called him Mini Marine. If he was more than five feet tall, it wasn’t by much.

    3. My roommate in phase 1 of the Q course was that size or smaller. His rucksack frame rested just a few inches above the back of his knees and on combat equipment jumps his rucksack was almost touching his feet. He was jumping a ruck that damn near outweighed him!

    4. We had a guy in my OSUT class at Fort Lost-in-the-woods that made the Army height requirement by one inch. Good guy, he worked his ass off and graduated, but Road Marches were a worse bitch for him that the rest of us!

  7. Holy Crapola I’m from Arizona and I will say if you are in certain parts of the state they will throw the book at you for playing the license plate game. like Dorothy Dorff did here…
    why in the suck do they always use dogs on there BULLSHIT CONs !!!!!!!
    why screw the pouch !!!!!!

      1. what are the odds he has a post on his Facebook page from 2013 about service dog training scams..

        BHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!

      2. Get to wear pink uniforms and the bologna sammiches… but then ‘the boys’ can give him one of them there cockmeat sammiches with plenty of manmayo.

  8. This POS would have been ideal as a T-54 tank driver in the Red Army; in the U.S. military? Not so much…

  9. Foravite songs: “Follow the Yellow Brick Road” and “How much is the doggie in the window”

    Favorite Tattoo: Words of Inspiration on neck!

    Favorite job: Scraping gum from beneath the tables at local Waffle House.

    LEGIT!

    2. Why does this dude need to scam to make ends meet? Hasn’t he seen any Peter Jackson movies? Midgets are always in demand for those movies.

    1. Not sure if that’s the “1000-yard stare”; the “playing with a 51-card deck” look; or the “Oh sh!t, I’m busted!” face.

  11. Wait…wait, he’s got a neck tattoo. He can’t be lying if he’s got the tat. /sarc/
    Dipshit

  12. He’d a been a good fit for the ball turret 74 years ago…at first I couldn’t figure out what the photo was, then I realized the child was actually our boy.

    Wow…must be nice to get a youth large shirt at Walmart for $4 and call it a day.

    2. He can just match up the little animals on the tags and coordinate his outfit.

  13. Back in the day, people like him were always nicknamed “Short Round.”

    But always with the service dog scam, why bring man’s best friend into it?

    Hope he enjoys Sheriff Joe’s luxury hotel suites, with room service and continental breakfasts.

    Dumbass.

    1. Something tells me there going to be a race to see who tags it at tent city
      ??????

    2. Claw, remember Sunday at Yellowstone when the ranger asked if my 2 mutts were service dogs? I might have said yes if you and 3/17 hadn’t been there. (smile)

  14. Hey! Quit with the short round shit! I’m 5’2. I may have lost an inch, too. I’m shorter than all of you put together,and that includes that midget dwarf with the tatt in the picture.

    You want me to start with the short jokes?

    1. Well I heard that you were going to arrange a party of TAH folks like yourself.

      It was just a little get together.

      1. Now don’t get short with Ex-PH2. She’s got that down to a science.

        (runs for cover…)

      1. Nobody has dared to pick me up to say ‘Hello’ in some time.

        It’s true that when I have to stand on a chair to talk to someone face to face, I can usually change the light bulbs in the ceiling fixtures, too.

        And no, I don’t have to find leaves to hide under during rainstorms, nor has anyone offered me the booster seat at McD’s just yet, but the last time someone tried to get me into a barroom fight, he swung so hard he punched himself in the nose. I haven’t yet been asked to search the side pockets for anyone’s missing balls, either.

        1. Think of it like this… the right height for a straight jab to the balls in a fight, the right size for the really fun old British sports cars, no oxygen loss from higher altitude breathing, and exactly the right size for a girl. You got it made.

          1. ‘fun old British sports cars’ – I had one of those, an Austin Healey 3000 Mk III. It was so low-slung, a gnat couldn’t crawl under it.

            1. Gad, I love Healey 3s….second most beautiful car ever built after a ’60s drophead E-type. I once had my neighbor, a Bandito weighing in about 375, wanting a ride in my Spitfire… took him 10 minutes to sausage his way in to the passenger seat.

    3. I read in the news that someone tried to pickpocket Eric Wolfe, the phony veteran.

      I don’t know how anyone could stoop so low.

      1. He’s SO SHORT he just puts an aspirin in his shoe when he has a headache.

    6. I am 6’2 and my wife is 5’1. Our 14 year old daughter is now taller than her. I try to keep the short jokes down to one every three day, but sometimes I fail. If she found out that I typed this she would probably kick me in the shins.

    7. From the look of that picture, unless that group of ladies was a basketball team, dude is like 5 foot tall, maybe even 4’10”.

      So, he’d be asking you how the weather is up there.

  15. A Little unknown fact about Arizona.. Because of what shit bag did, if they choose to. They could choose to say that all vets are victims and the odds would be good that the judge would throw the book at him.
    I may make a trip to Phoenix to sit in on his court appearances…

    1. HAHAHAHAHA, I only have one tattoo. It says USMC, but if I am with the right woman who motivates me properly it expands to read:

      United States Marine Corps Camp Lejeune North Carolian.

      3. And you assume we have all forgotten about your Karl Malden size snotlocker, Pinocchio!

  18. Eric Wolfe, phoney veteran,
    It must have been pretty embarrassing when the police had to get a milk crate for you to take your mugshot.

        1. D’oh! I hit report instead of reply.

          Anyway, if you do stick him under a milk crate, make sure that he has one of those hamster wheels so that he can exercise.

    3. Not to mention that they had to use a yardstick to obtain his height for the vitals.

  19. If Eric Wolfe, phoney veteran, committed a really heinous crime and was given the death penalty, and if the electric chair was the preferred method of execution, would they have to get a booster seat??
    😀 😀 😀 😀

    1. What do a midget, a dwarf, and Eric Wolfe; phony veteran have in common?

      Very Little.

  22. Great job Congresswoman Sinema!

    Probably need to upgrade your staff.

    In their defense, the word “Freedom” on his neck probably was enough to convince him he was legit.

    Fucking little maggot.

  24. I’m sure that ‘Thumbelina’ is not exactly his favorite childhood song.

    He’s taller than most Panamanian jockeys, you know. But then, so am I. I feel like a giant when I’m around them. Height is always relative.

    What’s really important is the size of his nose, y’know.

    1. Ex-PH2….FYI, there is no comparison between your cats that you ride and the horses he rides. His rides have a trainer. Your rides train YOU! That’s the cat lover’s life and you know it!

  25. The only thing good about a guy his size is also bad: He is first in line for everything.

  30. Just imagine Thor waking up one morning and saying, “I thinks I needs to get me a little piece of a__ this morning.”

  31. ADDED: From ABC13;

    Wolfe claimed he had suffered from PTSD himself after a deployment to Afghanistan as a canine bomb handler.

    Dogs and PTSD – like no one thought of that before.

    2. Every time I hear Dog and then PTS, VETs..
      I feel like I have to puk me brains out. Same shit every time

      1. I have a dog and have been diagnosed with PTS. I never claim that he is a service dog. What I claim is that he is horrible at being a Labrador Retriever and is the only one on the planet that hates water. Also, when he gets out he likes to run and won’t come to you when called until he gets tired. I have figured out that the way you get him to come to you is to get where he can see you and then ignore him.

    3. Was he talking about his Dachshund he says he rode into battle?

  32. He is the perfect size for one of those 50 CC parking lot Cafe Racers.

  33. “Freedom” neck tattoo in mug shot.

    Legit.

    Freedom, freedom, freedom
    You’ve gotta give for what you take
    Freedom, freedom, freedom
    You’ve gotta give for what you take

  34. I’ll bet Petco is proud to have him wear a t-shirt with their logo on it.

    What about the dog? How come the PETA ladies aren’t getting naked in protest over this?

  35. Fucker is so short he could do a 15-minute free fall off the edge of a dime.

  36. You gotta hand it to him…

    … because he can’t reach it.

    Badda-Bing-Badda-Boom

    1. Damn you, Jonn. I actually Googled Cotton Hill. Got me good. Haven’t watched in years.

  38. Wolfe’s favorite foods. Feel free to add to the list and note that a “short beer” is not a food:

    Mini-Wheats. Shrimp. Short ribs.

    4. SHORTCAKE!!! Pay attention!

      He’s so short, he needs a ladder to step up on the curb.

      He’s so short, bread was named after him.

      He’s so short, he’d get lost in the shallow end of the pool.

      You guys are simply not trying!

      Next!!!!

  42. Wolfe goes to doctor. Doc comes in, asks how he can help. Wolfe says, Doc, it’s my penis. Doc says to drop his trou and I’ll take a look. Wolfe drops trou, revealing a weenie the size of an AAA battery. Doc chuckles and asks what is the problem with it, other than it being smaller than average. Wolfe says, Doc, it’s swollen. Doc is on the floor.

    Welcome to your Google stardom, dufus.

  44. Ladies and gentlemen, we have found Phildo’s Fuck boy.

    I can only imagine he escaped off his leash from All-Points Logistics.

    Phildo is probably worried sick.

    1. It just dawned on me.

      “Whack-a-Mole”.

      That game you see in the arcades.

  46. Maybe he should have studied to become an Docttor, he’d be a Proctologist a Patient wouldn’t have to bend over for!

  47. The “Giant of Queen Creek Arizona”. Telling taller stories than ever heard before, stretching the truth, being bigger than life in his tales. This gnome should have stayed in his garden.

  50. I wasn’t born this way, promise! It was that bastard Wizard, R. L. Carr who cast a shortening hex on me after I defeated his golem in glorious combat. I bisected the golem with a double edged battle axe enhanced by the mystical charms of the Hemeglortons! Damn treacherous wizards!

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