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A DD214 from my inbox

by Jonn Lilyea••137

Strange DD214

I held off posting this so that you would have finished your morning coffee today in order to save those precious computer screens that you’re always complaining about being ruined.

A county veterans services officer (a fan) who helps veterans and their survivors navigate the complex federal and state benefits dropped this in our inbox last night. A fellow VSO from another county got the above DD214 from a recent widow who stopped by his office to inquire about any benefits her husband earned for her. So the VSOs scrubbed any Personally Identifying Information from it and sent it to us for instructional purposes.

The word “Classified” appears 11 times – nothing about a DD214 is classified. Ever. Classified information would not be included on the document. Classified, of course, is not a classification of classified information, anyway. His last duty station is listed as Haiphong – Haiphong was a North Vietnamese city, which is why the US Navy mined it’s harbor in 1972. His reenlistment code, RE-3R, means that he is ineligible for reenlistment without waivers. That part might be true.

The math in his service computation is really off. 1 year, 11 months and 12 days plus 0 years, 9 months and 41 days (whaa?) does not equal 4 years, 9 months and one day. Well, not using modern math, anyway.

Apparently, the closest civilian occupation to a Navy SEAL is a mechanic. His awards are a mess, but he has the much-sought-after National Defense Service Medal.

The schools and training are a hoot. I want to volunteer right now for Self Destruction School, in fact, I think I could pre-test out of it and get the badge – there’s a Self Destruction Badge, right?

After all of that, I’d hate to be the VSO who has to give the bad news to the widow, most of all, though, I sympathize with the widow whose last memory of her husband is that he was a forger and a liar. It’s demonstrative of why all of you phonies out there need to come clean now while you’re still alive and there’s time to make up for your lies to the people who love you.

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137 thoughts on “A DD214 from my inbox”

  1. Thanks for waiting until after I had my coffee.. and the morning laugh.. I feel sorry for the widow.

      1. It could also be possible that someone other then the husband modified the document in an attempt to gain benefits. Legal disclaimer: Not accusing anyone. Just stating it could happen.

        The VA has turned into a cash cow these days and the number of claims crawling out of the woodwork is unbelievable. Thing is there is no prescreening and the VA has to review each and every one.

        This kind of crap is one of the big reasons the system is getting bogged down and deserving veterans are caught up in the fallout. Yes, there is some mismanagement and other issues, but on the claims side it really is getting out of control.

        1. Is there much that the VA will offer a Widow? When I did casualty assistance, the only thing they would offer was a grave marker and a bugler. Also, the wife’s Grandpa passed recently and the VA offered nothing because Grandpa never went to the VA before passing. And he was retired, Korean War vet.

          2. Good points. based on the quality of that document I’m figuring someone thought there was potential cash available somewhere. Whether before or after his demise I have no idea.

            All honorable service vets are entitled to a marker, burial flag, and internment in a VA cemetary. Didn’t know about the bugler. Usually the graveside ceremonies are provided by local VFW, American Legion, or other such organizations on request.

            To receive the VA burial benefits al the family has to do is apply and provide documentation. Did that with my Dad (WWII vet) and brother (Gulf War vet). Has that changed?

    2. I like how under his first Presidential Unit citation, the date was changed by hand from 1967 to 1968. Had to be in line for the other PUC that’s from 1969.

    3. I immediately felt bad about the widow as well. Some lying peiece like that guy probably kept all that from her and now it’s out. Although, like other commenters, it very well could have been her too – or the new boyfriend trying to get something out of the government also.

  2. A lot of our posers seem to have received self-destruction training.

    No discharge certificate issued – possibly pointing to an OTH?

    1. I was in self destruction training a lot at Ft Campbell and Germany which tended to involve showing up to PT with my cohorts and the question being asked who smells like a brewery.

    2. I know a couple of officers who would probably rate a combat self-destruction badge.

    3. No discharge certificate issued because at the time of separation he had not yet completed the six year universal training obligation that everyone (for that period) incurred.

      Gotta do that whole six years (either active or some type of reserve time) before you get the DD256.

    4. The “Self-Destruction Badge” in the Marine Corps is a pair of LCPL chevrons.
      I received the Self-Destruction Badge 2nd Award….

    5. I was separated off my last ship.06-oct-69 “no discharge certificate issued at time separation” is on my dd214. never received one either.

    2. Yeah, I remember my Terromstic training, however we spelled it: Tarot Mystic, it was run by an old Gypsy woman in Haiphong, but that’s classified……I’ve said too much….self destruction class….Oh the memories.

  4. He was stationed in Vinh and Haiphong; was he an NVA Special Forces SEAL ???///

    1. I’m guess it would come in handy if you ever engaged in self pleasure and fell asleep.
      It also was an upgrade for the “Dutch Rudder”.

        1. Automatic arms… hmm.. that sounds like something that Inspector Gadget used to carry.

    4. LMAO, all I keep seeing is a robot with its arms flailing about saying danger, danger, Dutch Rudder Club.

  6. His rank was classified but his pay grade wasn’t…. I’m betting this deceased sack of shit was running his crap for years.
    He needs to be buried in a pig pen.

    2. Why you gotta be hating on the cops?

      Just another example of da man trying to keep a good liar down.

  7. Also, “Vinh, Haiphong?” Vinh was the site of a VPAF airfield 150 miles to the south of Haiphong. Did the guy just throw darts at a map to pick his duty station?

      1. Well you have to admit it’s better than the monitors at HQMC. They use a Magic 8-Ball, a crate of malt liquor, and a bag of chicken bones. You still end up going to Okinawa anyway.

  8. This is priceless, airborne training land and water and survival school all conditions. The sad part however is the widow of this ass clown who no doubt now has to contend with questioning the person she knew and was married to. That is the one thing a lot seem to miss with these people is that it tends to drag others into their lie and can upset all they believe in. The ones that really get me though are those that served and did so honorably and should no better. Not everyone can be at the pointy end of the poodle but that does not make their service any less and they should be proud of their service.

    1. This one time at Band Camp, we were training for our terrorologist merit badge in deep water desert tactics, opps, I can’t talk about that it’s still classified.

      My motto is “I’m a jack of all trades and a master baiter.”

  9. Two Purple hearts in Cambodia? I wonder if he was there for the holidays with john Kerry?

  10. I’m surprised that the U.S. Citizen check block wasn’t a classified entry.

    These posers are slipping. It’s the little details that expose them every time.

  11. Well, I’m in California, so I’m just having my coffee right, so thanks a lot, you inconsiderate bag of dicks…who’s going to buy me a new monitor? I mean, it’s all good for now, since I HAD three on my desk, but I just feel so incomplete with only two. Oh, and there is no badge issued for “Self-Destruction School”, although they do do issue a certificate of completion. It’s something called an ‘Article 15″.

    1. You have THREE monitors!!!

      Maybe you should check your privileged there and consider all your fellow Californians who maybe only have TWO monitors or, heaven forbid ONE monitor!

      😀

    2. Then being in Cali, you can answer my question. I always thought the SEALS were in Coronado and not in Corona, Ca?
      How many seconds was he set for in Self Destruction Class?

      1. I’m guessing “immediate”. And it looks like he survived – from the neck down, anyway.

  12. You know it is legit when the date is “00 AUG 66”.

    Someone better notify the base at Corona and let them know the secret of what they really do there is out.

    1. Back in the 60’s, August began on day 00. Only August though. They changed it soon after this guy went into the Navy (it was the whole not having DST thing, back then).

  14. Is there anything on that document that is *right*?
    Yeah the other words like Classified and Awards should be replaces with
    “none” and “none” and “none” and “none” and “none” and “none” and “none”.
    None more stupid.
    /tip of the hat to Spinal Tap.

    “none” and

  15. I am not defending this douche pickle’s actions….but back in the olden days SEALs and SWCC guys did not have their own Rates.

    For instance a friend of this site, Don Shipley, was a Senior Chief Boatswain’s Mate (BMCS) that was SEAL qualified.

    So, that being said you could get a SEAL that held an Engineman’s Rating…and that could correspond to a mechanic on the outside on their DD214.

    Again I am not defending this guy…just didn’t want someone getting wrapped around the axle with the occupation thing, if the real deal ever comes up, and someone tries to use that as their ‘proof’ the guy is a phoney.

    1. For the record, I only pull out my axle when I am trying to win my ex girlfriend back.

    2. That could explain his civilian equivalent job, but EVERYONE in the Navy has a rating. There is nothing classified about that.

    3. You know its a good day when they started letting airdales rates become a SEAL.

  17. Thanks a lot! I just spewed coffee all over my keyboard. I had to keep looking to see if the “Seal Tean” was a result of a bad typewriter key. Nope! I also thought the “Classified” E-4 was a nice touch. I am curious if this guy had actually served and modified his own 214 or never served and modified someone else’s. Not that it matters – either way my guess is he didn’t have a career as a professional forger.

    1. Since it has a RE-3R reentry code, I’m guessing it was his that was modified to create this abomination. Might not be, though.

  18. Why would he tell us such things as “Seal Team 1, Duty Station San Fran, District Area Code 00 51” and then put “Classified” after that? Did that info used to be in invisible SEAL/Secret Spy ink that was to fade away after so many years or upon his death?

    1. Is that District Area Code 00 51 the long name for Area 51 ? Is that why it’s classified ?

  19. I hope the VSO showed some tact or class in this situation. I have met some strong ones and I have met some clowns.

    This is sad.

    Another shitbag shaming his spouse and family from beyond the grave.

  20. “AFEN Korea?” Isn’t that “American Forces Entertainment Network?” Maybe he made some of those god-awful “OPSEC” commercials they used to show on AFN. I mean what with his “terroristic infiltration training” he would be an expert.

    Also, what is “POW Training?”

    I would imagine the POI goes like this:

    DAY 1: “Hands UP”
    Day 2: Graduate.

    1. Jumper, that’s Terromstic Infitration, which, as you should well know, is an entirely different course from Terroristic Infiltration.

      I would gladly explain the difference except that it’s CLASSIFIED, so highly classified in fact, that it’s not supposed to even be included on your DD-214, which of course, explains why we’ve never seen it before here at TAH.

      1. Oh, I forgot. “Terromistic Infiltration” is when you appear silently out of the mist to Terromize your enemy.

        Also used by Secret Navy SEAL LTCDR Diane Fossie in her famous “Guerillas in the Mist” raids of the 1970’s.

        Sign above my desk in Germany: “My job is so classified even I don’t know what I’m doing!” 😀

    3. I was in Korea 92-93, and it was AFKN, American Forces Korea Network, another fail unless he was part of the Anal Force Enema Network!

  21. Out of everything you wrote and everything on that form Jonn, the only thing that endangered my computer screen was your last sentence. Do you really think these liars care about the people who love them?

  22. Sorry, but this guy is completely legit.

    I know, you see, I had him for three months at Doc Hue, I know him better than his mother, his sense of…honor and fair play. Oh, he could fake me, certainly, if I was armed with the truth and coming after him. But like this-never. Goodbye, Do svidaniya.

  23. BHWHAHAHAHAHA! ! ! ! !
    🙂
    🙂

    I’ve seen it all now ! ! ! !
    🙂
    BHWHAHAHAHAHA! ! ! !

    Thank you Jonn for waiting
    I needed some laughter this morning and I got it 🙂
    🙂

    1. OMG, I can’t stop laughing! This is literally the greatest thing ever!

      I haven’t laughed this hard since the Cock Inhaler comment thread!

  24. JESUSTITTYFUCKINGCHRIST, that is one epic 214, and what in the name of fuck is POW Training? hahahahh. clearly made before the internets.

    1. I think, from the looks of this shitty mess, it should have said “POTTY Training.”

  25. SELF-DESTRUCTION SCHOOL???

    Obviously!

    And what the fuck is “Terromstic Infiltration Training?”

    Thank dog I have finished my coffee!!!!

    I can’t even breathe, I’m giggling so hard!

        1. Whoa back thar, gal! At their age and condition, you’ll kill ’em for shore! 😀

          1. Oooooh… good point. Maybe that’s a bad idea!

            Never mind. Not TIT training for y’all! Blame Pinto Nag. 😉

        2. Hold it right there, young lady!

          I believe you’ve led us to believe that you were Intel – either in the service, or as a civilian. What do you mean you’ve never had any Tactical Intel Training?

          (smile)

          1. I might have some specialists around here that are willing to get tactical and do some training for the amazing HONDO.

            The shit I have to put up with every day. Do you want me to post a few applicants HONDO ?

            1. Dave, c’mon. Be serious.

              Do you really want to break those young ladies’ hearts and have them find out they’ve been carrying on over an aging, overfed, long haired leaping gnome?

              And no – I’m not in that vid. That was 45 years ago, anyway. (smile)

              1. The response to that post so far is:

                3 Said they love older men

                1 Said she loves you for your mind.

                1 Said she wants to pull your hair.

                Serveal men are suffering from HONDO ENVY. Lots of luck bro, defend yourself if need be.

                1. I feel it is only appropriate under these conditions to say: I AM HONDO!

              2. Actually sat through 4 shows when Burdon and War first toured. They were tremendous… he actually was booed. Obviously too many drugs since ‘House of the Rising Sun’.

  27. Seal Tean 1 and Tean 2!

    Say it like the soccer announcer …

    “LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGIIIIIIIIIIIIIT”

    That is all!

  28. Dude was into Buttsekks Warfare… that’s why the 214 is all “classified”

    Feel sorry for the VSO who is going to have to tell the “veteran’s” wife that he was a liar and isn’t entitled to squat… another victim of Stolen Valor

  29. First off Jonn, you wrote “the much-sought-after National Defense Service Medal”. I am personally offended. That is the ONLY one I have sported on my “I Love Me Wall” and it reads as the “HIGHLY, HIGHLY, MOST HIGH OF ALL AND HIGHEST SOUGHT AFTER…NATIONAL DEFENSE SERVICE MEDAL”, as described under it on the gold plaque. 😀

    The only training he apparently got right and paid attention to was the “Self-Destruction School”.

    1. That “Natie-D” is nothing more than the military participation trophy. It’s as sought after as the scratch-and-sniffle on Victory Drive.

      1. Flagwaver…Roger that! I got out of boot camp and they gave me one. Go figure. I didn’t even know what it was or what it was called until I asked someone else.

    2. It is properly referred to as the ‘gedunk medal’, something award to anyone who survives his/her first boot liberty after clogging the commodes in the recruit company’s heads.

  30. I didn’t do “POW Training” but I did do the DOD Hostage Survival Training” One of the girls in the training with a Jewish sounding name got dragged across the “plane”… for having a Jewish sounding name. Sgt. Habib, the guy who dragged her, had been a Marine Corps translator before joining the Air Force. He shook hands with the girl and made sure she was okay. Later that day he slapped me for not looking at him while he talked. I took a note: “Look at Sgt. Habib…”

  32. It’s a pretty sad thing when you ridicule a hero!!!

    Just in case you didn’t know “Self Destruction School” was the forerunner of what is now named the US Navy Suicide Bomber School.

    The history of the school is such that when it was initially opened in Coronado, California the graduation rate was something like 1/2 of 1% due to the fact that they used live explosives in the final examination.

  34. My DD214 has a couple of issues on it, but they are nowhere near as bad as this idiots. Mine is that they list me as only having 18 months in my MOS (the amount of time I spent on deployment) and they are one day off for when I enlisted.

    But this 214? Sheesh, dude doesn’t even know what he’s talking about!

  35. To quote the late Lewis Grizzard
    “I’ve been to 3 Worlds fairs. I’ve seen a duck play the piano and a chicken that could fart under water. But I’ve NEVER seen anything as fucked up as that!”

  36. You all have seen and read too much…the Men in Black will be paying every one of you a visit very soon with their neutralizers to wipe your memories. As soon as they are finished with their Terromstic Infitration refresher CBTs.

    And they find their reflective belts…

  37. VSO should have widow fill out an Sf-160 with the death certificate and have results sent directly to the VSO. There might be enough for the widow to get a VA headstone if asshat did serve honorably.

  39. Is self destruction training the same as self-abuse training and, if so, do glasses come with that?

    3. I failed self-abuse school.

      And if anyone here tells me the passed it, let ME be the first call them a liar!

      Oh, wait … Maybe I passed it.

      Shit, I am confused now!

      Nevermind.

  41. On a Related Note:

    BREAKING NEWS OUT OF CA BAR – NEW CHARGES FILED ICO DAB:

    Bernath, Daniel Alan

    Case Name: Bernath, Daniel Alan
    Case Number: 13-O-14986
    Member #: 116636
    Venue: LA
    Status: Open Case
    Filed: 06/08/2015
    Counsel: Pro Per
    Deputy Trial Counsel: Erin M. Joyce
    Co-Deputy Trial Counsel: Shane C. Morrison
    Assigned Judge: Lucy Armendariz

    06/08/2015 NOTICE OF DISCIPLINARY CHARGES

    Going home today, my work is done here!

    1. Congratulations, Master Chief. Did the little weasel show up, or was it a case of in absentia?

      1. I don’t know as I was NOT actually there in the courtroom per se.

        But, considering the distance of the earth in comparison to the moon … I was very close to the courtroom and all the associated activity.

        In flight interweb is pretty speedy these days.

        Landing at LGA at 2155 local.

  42. Speaking of someone who graduated from self-destruction training, with honors…

  43. Way to go, posting a classified document on the Internet. Now I have to notify my SSO that we have a data spill.

  44. The Navy Self Destruct school is part of boot camp.

    Its a one one one class the generally starts with a stupid question from a recruit or some unforgivable act such as a missing button

    The chain of orders in such a school are as follows

    Recruit Fucktard why did you __________!

    Recruit Fucktard, self destruct.

    Aye Aye Sir, and begins to self PT until Death, Pass es out or relieved. puking during above evolution is not permissible and doing so only prolongs the training cycle.

    Corona CA is a hell of a place. I like Coronado much better

    1. I always thought that UCMJ Action was assured if the offender died while being “smoked” and failed to obey a lawful order to resume breathing, resurrect, and resume doing extracurricular PT.

    2. Sure, Corona is okay. If you like the smell of cow shit at 100 degrees.

  45. ‘I want to volunteer right now for Self Destruction School, in fact, I think I could pre-test out of it and get the badge – there’s a Self Destruction Badge, right?’

    Yes. Yes, there is an SDB, issued by the CO of VAX347, upon completion of a one-on-one practical factors test of your ability to walk through a plasma flameball in zero gravity. The certificate for SDB is issued by NASA along with your Space Shuttle Doorgunner’s certification, but you’d better make sure that you complete both tests simultaneously.

    Why is it that when I have an obligation somewhere else, this happens and I startle the cat out of a perfectly good nap, while I’m laughing myself right into a brain fart?

    1. Space Shuttle Gunnery School? We Apollo Mission Door Gunnners wrote the book for that, y’all are very WELCOME!! 😀

  48. Unfortunately he seems to have forgotten that piece of advice: Never go full retard.

  49. HEY EVERYONE ### STOP ###

    I am calling BS on this one.

    No really!

    Either, Jonn or the county VSO rep is yanking our chain for the purpose of good ole’ Stolen Valor comedy.

    Seriously!

    Am I the only one who might be thinking this?

    If I am wrong Hondo will buy beer and beef jerky for all.

    Oh, and for the ladies … 2 hour chick spa thingy!

    That is all.

    1. Be delighted to do that, MCPO. So as long as I’m using your AMEX when I pay the bill, of course. (smile)

    2. Terromstic Training was the most fun I ever had in the Navy. Close second to finding Canned Steam and 50 ft of Flight Line

      2. Fallopian tubes
        bottle of smoke
        left-handed monkey wrench
        hot air conditioner
        grease monkey wrench
        inverted Phillips screwdriver

        and my personal favorite: unlocking washers

      3. Chem light batteries
        A bottle of cable stretching oil
        A box of ground guides
        A box of grid squares
        150 feet of flight line
        A tablet of ID-10-T forms
        “Shit Shaft” plugs
        A bottle of dihydrogen oxide hydration solution

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