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New Year, old pals

by Jonn Lilyea••123

Ron Mailahn thinks I’m a Marine;

I know I’m old, Ron, I’ve been counting the years for a long time. But you’re old, too, Ron – you’re closer to 50 than you are to 40. At your age, I was on my second career, not living at my Mom’s house, I didn’t owe child support because I’m still married to the mother of my children. I never thought of embezzling money from my daughter’s softball league and I never ran up $800 in phone sex calls on my employer’s phone. Even if I took the post down, you exist all over the internet. There’s even a Ron Mailahn meme generator. So, no, it remains. Live with it.

From other old friends, Wickre was on the line last night leaving his typical death threats. First, he pretends to be Hack Stone;

Hackstone
hackstone@gmail.com
54.227.13.255
Submitted on 2015/01/03 at 12:23 am

Whoops I have been discovered and now must pay my sins.

I am the same slime bag as Lilyea and Seavey. I deserve to be tortured and shot for my mouth. I agree now that my torment to to others deserves a come back and I draw my curtains waiting for the debt settled in my mortal coil as to my big mouth.

I will open wide on the moment

They think that they have tracked down Hack Stone, but as usual, they’re wrong. I doubt that they could find each others’ ass without chemlights. I sure hope they don’t hurt the guy they think is Hack. Then, of course, Wickre turns his guns towards us;

54.227.13.255
Submitted on 2015/01/02 at 11:49 pm

Lilyea has been caught as well as his sado-masochistic buddy Seavey. Low lifes and scum, they interrupt others lives and inflame emotions in an anti-social sense stirring up riot.

The band of malcontents are nearly traced and then we can begin the one-by-one legal reign in on each 28 year old anonymous attacker. Lilyea a punk, is dying. Seavey will be assasinated, by an angry husband.

Lacking virtue education or any moral standing they truly sit at the gutter of the Internet dispensing pap to wierdo anti-social violent Vets.

Two Anti-Christs or mob bosses, they have a punk and low life following. All will be discovered and all held to account.

The blather from the Mil Kooks will be met with death and riot. You cant treat people that way. If you arouse the worst, you can expect the worst back.

A fine life, now, with a gathering storm of enmity and hatred, each of the sociopaths can spend there days looking over there shoulders…

Lilyea will die this year and Seavey’s sewn hatred will come back to him 7×7 into misery in his time.

We’re trying to figure out who an angry husband might be that wants to kill TSO, and Wickre is the only one we can think of. And the 9000 other threats are invalidated – this is the one that is real. Gutless cowards.

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123 thoughts on “New Year, old pals”

    1. extra points awarded for working in the reference to felching. cheers!

      I always love the way these reponses tend to turn to some sort of weird B-movie type of fantasy end. sometimes I wish I could watch the TV in their minds…

  3. Reading that…..whatever it is from Psul, I got this sharp stinging pain behind my left eye.

    1. I’ll go with, “Or something” for $600, Alex.

      Seriously, the number of times he’s threatened the to sic the ninja dickweed death squads of pretty much, well, EVERYONE here, makes me believe that he thinks we won’t take him seriously the one time he pulls the spandex out of the crack of his bezitted asshole just long enough to take the trek outside MD.

      Psulie-boi. I’ve told you before, I’ll tell you again–I-95, go north 12 hours to NH, get to Portsmouth, hang a left, ask around for me. I’ll be the one with the shitty attitude and loaded weapons.

      I’ll be waiting.

  5. “If you arouse the worst, you can expect the worst back”. Words to live by Paul K. Wickre. Your miserable existence is attributed that in your eagerness to kiss the ass of Phil Monkress, you were too fucking stupid that the information on the Internet flows both ways. You came here trying to shit in our MRE, and the only results are that you got fired from the last job you would ever have, you pissed away shitloads on lawyers and private investigators to do something (hell if we know what that would be), and anyone that does a search of your name will realize what a fucking loser you are. You would be better off developing a Wayback Machine to go two years back in time and preventing yourself from committing career suicide.

    By the way, how was the FirsTech Solutions Corporate Christmas party this year. According to your website, besides yourself and Karen Williams, FirsTech Solutions has six board members and five or six engineers on the payroll. How do you fit all of those people in the corner booth at Waffle House?

    2. The seating arrangements were easy. Seven being fed regular chow on the table and seven being fed something else under the table.

  7. He should check with his wife. She is probably furiously working on a Wayback Machine to stop herself from marrying this pathetic loser.

  8. If it isn’t SCI, have the Fecal Four been active back channel since a new champion was crowned?

  9. I cannot imagine writing what he writes. I mean, how in the world does he do that? Try it. Try just writing a few lines that can’t possibly be understood by anyone but yourself. It’s not at all easy for rational people to do. In fact, it’s damn hard.

    1. It’s “mental masturbation” for Psul/Palmer… he has no other means of venting his anger and rage for his failures in life except to email Jonn, TSO and others.

  10. “Lilyea a punk, is dying.”

    We’re all dying, dumbass. Of course, with your liver, from drinking sterno all those years, you may tip over faster than the rest of us, Wickre. We can only hope.

    1. To quote Mel, “All men die. Not all men truly live.”

      Guess what, Psulie-boi: none of you in the Lemon Party Triad know what it’s like to live. You exist. You are a leech. A festering pustule on the asshole of humanity.

      Come to grips with that next time you stare bleary-eyed in the mirror after your latest bender.

      Know that when you die, you will be quickly forgotten, unmourned, unloved, and alone. You, Bernath, Wittgenfeld, the whole fucking lot of you.

      Sleep well, assholes.

    1. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to troll the Internet.

      Is it too late for Paul to get his money back on what he spent for his college degree?

        1. If Paul were an MRE, he would be spaghetti and dick.

          Everyone can play. Take a famous movie quote, slightly modify it to fit Paul Wickre’s pathetic standing in life, and watch the hilarity ensue.

          1. Hack – I would think that the alternate name for the Hot Dog MREs would be more apropos… Donkey Dicks of Death

  12. I take offense to his post. I am the Atheist around here, if there are going to be accusations of anyone being an Antichrist, I insist they be pointed at me.

    It’s been weeks since some vest veneered, pin coverd, medal wearing, patch happy loser threatened me. I am starting to feel left out of the game.

    Maybe its because I try so hard to hide my real name and all.

    2. You may take offense at his post … but you are NOT getting an ARCOM for it.

  14. Somebody got a nose full of Military Special now didn’t they? Hey kids, this is why you shouldn’t pound the cheap booze every night. You might end up a member of the lemon party.

    1. I don’t that Paul could afford the Military Special hooch. He is probably brewing his own in his toilet tank. Something that he learned while locked up in the Montgomery County Maryland Correctional Facility. Paul always cuts a dashing figure, whether in a $5 suit from Goodwill or an orange prison issued jumpsuit.

        1. it wasnot Girl Scouts it was my daughters softball league. I earned that money old troll! You don’t understand how expensive it is to buy enough rope to tie up fat girls

  15. Oh, and Ron, you’re just pathetic man. Shake any Girl Scouts down for
    Cookie money this year?

  16. I know that we are all having a good laugh at the expense of Paul K. Wickre, Vice President of FirsTech Solutions, but please take a moment to say a prayer for Elaine Ricci, former President and current board of directors member of FirsTch Solutions. It seems that since Karen Williams assumed the position of President, poor Elaine has gone missing.

    #BringElaineRicciHome

    1. Does anyone else think that there sill be more coupon clipping and shopping at the local Piggly Wiggly instead of Whole Foods for the Wickre/Williams family – with the defeat of Ms. Williams employer in the recent mid-term election, there will be a deficit of around $85k in annual income.

      Also, Psul/Palmer – spend a little of that “family money” into fixing up your home. I’m sure your neighbors property values are in the tank based on the appearance of “Stately Wickre Manor”, and your neighbors would appreciate the effort

      1. Yeah, Palmer. Get a fucking door for your mailbox. Hell, you can BUY an entire mailbox for about 20 bucks. That’s only about 6 bottles of Thundebird!

        1. They are obviously flush, if you look at the newest street view of stately Wickre manor, they’ve added a second cabana carport and filled it with what appears to be a yard car starter set.

        1. Good luck. She will end up getting 75% of his unemployment benefits, if it hasn’t run out yet.

          I don’t know why he has all this hate for me. I explicitly told the Salvation Army to give him and his wife an extra scoop of turkey loaf when he showed up at the soup kitchen for his Christmas meal. It’s not my fault that they wouldn’t serve him until he took a shower.

          1. 75% of nothing is nothing.

            Lets not forget Phildo (Phil Monkress of All-Points Logistics) stiffed him.

      3. “…defeat of Ms. Williams employer in the recent mid-term election, there will be a deficit of around $85k in annual income”

        You need at least 3 times that amount to be able to afford to shop at Whole Foods.

    2. That’s funny right there Hack. You got a hash tag and everything. When oh when will Elaine come home, the world wonders?

      1. Hack’s Facebook friends have already read the news release regarding the missing Elaine Ricci. If Jonn grants me permission, I will post it on this thread. Jonn has to put up with enough bullshit from the Lucky Smegma, I don’t want to cause too much aggravation for him. (That would be Jonn. I live to aggravate Paul.)

        1. One can hope Jonn will let you post. Let’s just hope Elaine isn’t trapped in the trunk of a shitty, broke down jaguar.

  17. Ronald Mailahn: …hear anymore about it.

    Ronald (Ron) Mailahn (Google hit), you’re going to continue to hear about this until you realize that there’s nothing that you can do to have these posts removed. The posts involving you are going to stay up, Jonn Lilyea has stated such.

    I guarantee you that if you call Jonn up again, and play your games, there’ll be yet a new post on this website about you.

    Ronald Mailahn: Like I said, I was in the United States Army, I was proud to be in the Army,

    According to the POW network, you have not served a day in uniform. The national personal records archives don’t have anything on you as your having served in the United States military. By making these claims, in this new year, you make yourself a candidate for the 2015 Blue Falcon Stolen Valor Tournament. 💡 :mrgreen:

    You’re talking to Jonn as if he has no choice but to remove these threads. You’re making it sound like he, and those that post on these threads, are causing problems with your fiancé as well as with her family.

    I have news for you. You’re doing all the work, all that’s required is for us to record your acts on this thread.

    Your phone calls to Jonn constitute the legwork of a big chunk of his videos. Your activities give us opportunities to write about you.

    Want this to stop? Stop sweating the things he you cannot control. You can’t control what administrators do on the site. You can’t control what we say or do on this site either. You can; however, control what you do.

    Put this behind you. Stop your reindeer games. Change your behavior, to include seeking professional help for your anger problems. You also need professional help with managing your stress. While you’re at it, you need to speak to a therapist that can help you build your self-esteem up.

    In other words, get up and move forward. Take advantage of the opportunities that come your way. You don’t seem to be interested in doing that. You want to keep doing the status quo despite the fact that it’s not what’s going to get you to move forward.

    Ronald Mailahn: the reason the pictures were up I already told my fiancé what happened I told her family what happened, it was just a little prank, I tried on a uniform that was given to me I never said that I was a United States Marine

    According to the POW network, and those who have commented here, you have made numerous statements of you being in the United States Marines. Even those who have worked with you could testify that you made such claims.

    There are photos on this website, as well as previously on the POW network, of you dressing up on more than one occasion as a US Marine. You went beyond just doing a “prank.” You are presenting a false persona to those around you. That persona has since collapsed. You’re trying to cover all of that.

    I’m hoping that your fiancée and her family could see what’s on the site. This is giving them a window to your integrity. If you are lying about what you did on here, when is blatantly obvious that you did the things we said you did, what else are you lying about?

    The smart thing to do is to just move on from all of this. Accept the fact that all this information about you will remain posted. This is true here, this is true elsewhere. Both the pictures that are associated with you on this website are perfect meme backgrounds.

    It wasn’t our fault that happened, it was yours. Move on and turn a new leaf. Again, this is the New Year’s, time for the new and out with the old. Do something they’ll have people in your community looking up to you. This includes selfless acts like volunteering your time for different community events, committee service, as well as doing well in an employment setting that you find yourself in.

    Word has it that you’re unable to keep employment. The behavior problems I pointed out on this thread seem to be a common theme for your short employment runs.

    This goes back to my advice earlier, you need to seek help for the purpose of modifying your behavior. You have anger issues, You have stress issues, you have ego issues, you have self-esteem issues, you have all sorts of issues that you need to sort out.

    You need to manage those issues so that you can move forward. This includes employments and relationships. What’s biting you in the ass with employment is going to bite you in the ass with regards to your relationships.

    Ronald Mailahn: or do I want to be a United States Marine because you people are assholes. The Marine Corps is assholes. The United States Army is the BEST! So you go from there!

    If you read the commentary on the site, you’ll notice that we come from all branches of the military. We have veterans from all branches of the service posting here. There’s a common theme among our responses towards the different people that come here to post.

    We’re not all in the Marines, nor are we all Marine veterans.

    The reality is that your views of our responses to you would make all branches of the military come across as assholes to you.

    All branches of the military are the best in their own areas of service expertise. You’d know that if you served.

    Also, if you’re a resident of New Jersey, and you’re under the age of 46 and able bodied, you’re a member of your state’s unorganized militia. If you’re older than 45, you were a member of the reserve militia, for the state of New Jersey, from 17 to 46… assuming that you lived there all your life:

    http://law.justia.com/codes/new-jersey/2013/title-38a/section-38a-1-2/

    So, instead of claiming that you were in any branch of the US military, given that there is no record of you serving in the US military, you should claim is that you were a member of your state’s reserve militia from the time you were 17 years old to the time you’re 45 years old.

    So you need to go from there.

    Ronald Mailahn: And you can post this as many times as you want old man! You’re an old fuck.

    Yup, like that’s going to get Jonn to immediately remove all these posts about you. NOT! He doesn’t need to post this one incident multiple times. If you paid attention to his original post, he indicated that he was going to make a new post every time he called him with your rants.

    You need to do something about your living arrangements, compared to the remainder of your age group, before you tell somebody that he’s an “old fuck”.

    It probably burns you to know that there are people that are a lot younger than you who are ready homeowners. These are people with careers and backgrounds that they could look back at and be proud of. You don’t have any of that, so you try the hang onto our coattails by claiming that you are in the Army.

    Now, all of a sudden, in your eyes, you don’t come across as a complete and total “loser” in the eyes of those that know you… if they saw you as an Army veteran, you all of a sudden “aren’t a loser.”

    Unfortunately for you, you can even claim that.

    But it’s not too late for you to change. You can still make a difference and put activities under your belt that you could be proud of. These are the kind of things that would free you from having the urge to claim that you’re one of us. 🙄

    1. Excellent, Besig. *finger snaps*

      Now son, this advice is perfect for you and all your shitbag brothers. And for Gods sake, move out of your mom’s house! Do you still ask her for money?
      Anyway, do as Besig says & you can turn it around.

    2. I do believe that his FOIA request came back showing that he did serve an abbreviated tour in the Army. During an earlier exchange with Jonn, he said that he claimed to be a Marine because the Marines were better. Regardless, he never even approached the NCO ranks, much less SNCO.

    3. Originally posted by Hack Stone:

      I do believe that his FOIA request came back showing that he did serve an abbreviated tour in the Army. During an earlier exchange with Jonn, he said that he claimed to be a Marine because the Marines were better. Regardless, he never even approached the NCO ranks, much less SNCO.

      I completely forgot about that. 😯 Thanks for bringing that up. That actually makes things a lot worse for him than if he didn’t even serve in the Army. 😈

      In fact, with a record like that, I could understand why he wouldn’t want to talk about that, or mention that he served in the Army.

      Not serving at all would’ve been a better option for him. 🙄

      And Ronald Lee Mailahn Jr., (Google Hit) :mrgreen:

      I wouldn’t be surprised that you were such a substandard performer, consistently failing to meet your own low goals, that a couple of components booted you to another component.

      You sat around in the IRR, probably not getting the minimum points needed each year, for satisfactory performance. At some point in time, you decided that you were going to grace another unit with your attitude and substandard performance.

      You joined the National Guard. You probably exceeded your move to fail to meet low goals this time… by deciding to not participate in drills. It appears that you were transferred into the IRR as a result of your failure to participate in drills and other training. They had to drop you from the books so that you wouldn’t count against them.

      They put you in the IRR. I doubt that you worked feverishly to get the minimum participation points that you needed to have a good year.

      The trend that I’m seeing here is that your attitude contributed to your being a substandard performer. It also contributed to you getting tossed to another component.

      Your actions show that you were not even proud of being in the Army. If you were, you would’ve applied yourself and your active duty would’ve been longer.

      I’m willing to guess that your substandard performance, and your continuously failing to meet your own low standards, stemmed from the above issues that I point out in the above post… your inability to manage your anger, stress, and other issues.

      Not seeing your fault in all of this, you probably blamed “the system,” then “gave up,” which isn’t the action that someone that’s “proud” woudl’ve taken. You probably “fought back” indirectly, driven by your misguided behaviors and attitudes.

      Your not going up in ranks probably had a lot to do with your attitude, and your consistent desire to do less than the minimum, and to fail to take advantage of opportunities that came your way.

      You probably thought that the Army also had a bunch of assholes too, didn’t you? You probably thought that while you served, and you probably thought that to the point to where you went around claiming to be a Marine… complete with USMC uniform.

      Your wearing a red shirt under one of those uniforms makes you look bad as a veteran. Even as a phony, you failed to meet the minimum “phony vet” standards.

      From September 10, 1988 to January 3, 1997, you did 8 years, 3 months, and 23/24 days in the Army/Army National Guard. You have some extra time beyond that.

      But, but how much of that time did you spend sitting on your ass while failing to meet your own below average standards?

      This is the same attitude that many of us are seeing with regards to your job performance with the civilian jobs that you have.

      Your doing what you want to do instead of what you should be doing has consistently held you down.

  18. Has Mailahn formally joined up as the fourth member of the Lemon Party Triad yet, or is that particular milestone of stupid still up the road?

    1. If he does join, we can call them “The Dutch Rudder Quartet”! (Google it, I dare you!) 😈

      1. Later, when my family isn’t around. 😀

        If he does join, you get the distinction of coming up with the nickname for yet another TAH poser/poser organization

      2. Damn.

        Rough.

        My understanding of that move is that you must have a Phildo to bring it to fruition.

  19. well, since I’m a Ramone’s fan I guess I’m part of the punk following as opposed to the low life following

    1. Gabba gabba hey! I always enjoyed their appearance on The Simpsons.

      I did get to catch them on your back in 1990 with The Tom-TomClub, Jerry Harrison and Debbie Harry. I have a great story about that show which I will tell during the TAH Beer Summit.

  20. Funny old Ron will call Jonn, and rant and rave about his getting caught for SV, but doesn’t have the balls to come on here and try to defend himself. It would be like blood in the water to most commenters here!,,lol

  21. Damn John… I’m impressed by how calm and cool you are while getting yelled at and threatened by these psychos.
    That Korfhage is an absolute whack.

    1. Well, you know, some of them have been “cometh” for years now. They published directions to my neighbors’ house and none of them can summon the testicular fortitude to cross the state line. So, what’s to get worried about?

        1. Yeah, it’s one thing to get into West Virginia. Just try getting out. It’s not a very driver-friendly state. And if you pop on the GPS and can get a connection, instead of coordinates and directions, you get this: “You’re pretty screwed. Good luck.”

          1. I set my GPS to my home while sitting in the driveway and it still can’t get me to the house – it wants me to climb the side of the mountain where there is no road.

            1. Yes, but even assuming that they will be standing, extraction is precluded. All roads lead to doom and the woods are unforgiving.

      2. “Cometh” for years? Dunno about that, Jonn.

        Methinks the only time SoMeOnE wE aLl KnOw AnD “lOvE” has gotten his dong wet in the last 4+ decades has been in the shower.

        1. I think that certain SoMeOnE has been “cometh”ing by his own hand for years. That’s why he has a prepaid monthly refill prescription to Lady Monkey Butt Lotion. The lotion that has the smell of Calamine with just a hint of freshly dried laundry.

          1. I was thinking more along the lines of burned rubber and Vaseline.

            And a picture of Cody Stermer, of course.

          2. Shoot, Claw – the way ThAt OlD fOoL seems to be stuck in the past, you’d think that the only smells that excite him are nước mắm and burning latrine contents mixed with diesel. And in his case, that might even be the truth.

            1. Well, I’m sure that the clown suit does chafe him in all the wrong places every time he wears it.

      3. OK… maybe no real threat to worry about, but I personally would lose my patience with these big talking fakers if they talked to me like that on the phone. I think I would be swearing back, threatening back, and getting a little fired up.
        Especially when some punk is saying he’s going to come and “torture” my family, and crap like that.

        Patience was never my strong suit, anyway.

        1. IDIOT losers like them get their thrills by pissing people off. If you ever do get a threatening call from one, the best way to make them shit-their-pants mad in return is to talk back as calmly and nicely as you can in return, they’ll shit themselves!!

          1. And laugh at them. Turds (and LibTurds) like them just HATE to be laughed at.
            I think it’s a self-esteem issue. They have so little of it within themselves, that if they can’t get their esteem (as opposed to e-bake) from others, then they have/are nothing (at least, in their own mind).

  22. Pickwickre Peckerwood thinks I’m 28? Yes, I certainly am.

    It would be nice, wouldn’t it? to find that peckerwood found a way to write coherent English, instead of cranking out something that appears to have been put through a google translator after it spewed forth from his drunk-ass mouth?

    Mailahn, you’re an idiot. You’re useless, lazy, and stupid. If you want to be a dependent child at your age, go live in a nursing home. The help will change your diapers and wipe your ass for you. They’ll even grind up your food and spoonfeed you. But that, you see, means that you’re too senile to take care of yourself.

    2. Didn’t “T-bird Brain” Wickre once accuse Michelle Malkin of being you?

      1. Michelle Malkin is a babe. If she was President, she would be Baberaham Lincoln. If Paul Wickre and Daniel Bernath took the proper medication, they might not be such assholes.

        1. If any of those fart pickle-sniffing imbecilic taint-sniffing fart-breathed buck-toothed lobotomized fungus-headed Swamp Donkeys had even the tiniest bit of brains, they’d be so dangerous they would have to be registered with and monitored by the State, Feds and the UN!!

  23. Psulie-boi, Gunny Driveway, Wiffinfarts, Bernutless:

    Combined, if brains were cotton, you fucktards still wouldn’t have enough to make a tampon for a pissant.

    You gave it your best shot, you lost, now any rational person would know that when bested, it’s best just to remain silent. You have that right, but you stupid fuckers just don’t have the ability. It’s like some pathological need for you to flap your cocksucker, as if your vital organs are dependent upon your mouth flapping open and closed like a carp, regardless of what comes out.

    Even when you discover yourselves in a legal shitpile of your own making, you STILL can’t STFU. Rather than help each other to a semblance of normalcy, you are hell bent on outdoing each other to see who can make the most spectacular train wreck.

    As to that, all I can say is, keep doing what you’re doing. It’s gonna be awesome when the wreckage that is your lives piles up, and we’re going to be there to witness it in all it’s flaming glory.

    2. “Psulie-boi, Gunny Driveway, Wiffinfarts, Bernutless”

      Toss in Phildo Heavy Chevy and you have what I refer to as “The Legion of Taint”.

        1. Yeah.

          But “Forgin'” Frank Visconi strikes me as more of a meatgazer standing outside the circle watching.

          Just look at that picture of him with his mouth open.

          Yikes.

    1. Good call LT!

      Can you work in some Jobu & “Jesus Christ can throw a curve-ball” maybe later? When the time is right?

        1. Thanks Infidel, you rock. Hope u saw that Meme the other day bout SMA with the lil kid looking out his front door kinda sad w a kids m-16 on his back saying “I don’t know, I just thought…we’d do more infidel stuff”

  25. I don’t have a lot of money, but I am getting to the point of offering to pay for some 100-level writing classes at whatever Community College is closest to him. If for no other reason than to read his stuff without having to translate it first.

    AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to AS TO as to

  26. Earlier today, as Hack was tending to taking down the Christmas decorations, the doorbell rang. In my mortal coil, whatever the fuck that means, I drew the curtains back, expecting to see a loser clad in spandex at the door, and a rusting Jaguars leaking oil in my driveway. To my somewhat relief, it was only a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I knew that I should have enrolled in the Jehovah Witness Protection Program. I told them that I did not have any time right now, but feel free to stop by my other residence on Wilson Lane in Bethesda.

    1. Jehovah’s Witnesses? That’s why I keep a black cassock and a goat skull handy by the front door. If they show up, I answer the door wearing the cassock while holding the goat’s skull inviting them to the ritual in progress!! My Sister heard that they won’t come by your house if they see a cross by the front door, she bought a nice-looking cast iron cross, mounted it by her front door, and they never came to it or left literature wedged in the doorway while her neighbors did!

      1. No such luck. I am Irish Catholic, and lovely bride, Rosetta, is Filipina Catholic. They JW’s working our neighborhood are Filipinas, so they think they have a foot in the door. Last week I saw some Evangelicals working the block, and they hit the JW house. A little bit of payback, I guess. And just to give you an idea of my upbringing, our house was so Catholic, my Mother would not let us listen to Meatloaf on Fridays.

          1. They already do. World wide. They just haven’t gotten to YOUR door yet.
            BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA.

    2. I invite them in and have a conversation with myself.

      I say “We don’t get guest often after that last little incident

      And then I tell them about meeting Jesus at the Mcdonalds followed by why I;m not crazy, if I were the state would not keep letting me walk away the way they do while peeking out the windows and asking if they saw anyone watching my house.

      Most of them don’t make it past mcdonalds

      1. While moving out of an apartment complex (which had stiffed us on our deposit because I was PCSing) some JWs came to the door while we were moving out – wife asked them to please come back after we were settled in, and to ignore her husband who would be a little grumpy about religion – SHE was real interested and please please don’t give up. We always wondered how many million visits the people who moved in after us got.

  28. Police Hold Press Conference For Missing Bethesda Woman

    By Stephen Glass

    Bethesda MD 26 Dec 2014: Montgomery County Police and the Maryland State Police held a joint news conference this morning, seeking the public’s help in locating a missing Bethesda woman. Authorities are searching for Elaine Ricci, former Chairman of the Board and current Board member of FirsTech Solutions, a company that sells software to the federal government. Authorities are baffled, since Ms. Ricci has not been seen in public for quite some time, and other than FirsTech Solutions CEO & Acting VP of Sales Paul K. Wickre stating that she has “been instrumental in building the capital infrastructure of the firm including both the key Escrow/Trust accounts with FirsTech’s bankers as well as the bridge financing from BVP”, there have been no known sightings of her for the last year.

    “We don’t know where to start looking,” said Montgomery County Detective Theo Kojak. “Initially, we thought that she was despondent and suicidal over losing her position as Chairman of the Board, but at this point, we suspect foul play. There has been no use of her credit cards, her savings account has not been touched, and there is no activity on her Facebook, Linked In or Match.com accounts. In fact, we can’t find any trace of her. There is nobody with the name Elaine Ricci fitting her description on any of those sites in the National Capital Region, we have no driver’s license in Maryland, Virginia or DC for an Elaine Ricci, and there is only one known photograph of her. It is as if she never existed.”

    Given the unusual circumstances of this missing person’s case, the FBI and Homeland Security have been brought into the investigation, fearing that she may have succumbed to a terrorist plot or her disappearance may have something to do with recent allegations of North Korea’s involvement with the Sony Hacking Scandal. “This goes beyond a missing woman case,” said FBI Field Agent Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. “The fact that her entire history has been wiped from the landscape indicates that evildoers are afoot, and they may be programming her as some type of “Manchurian Candidate”, to be released back into society as a sleeper cell. “

    A visibly upset Paul Wickre came out to address the assembled media at a hastily called news conference in front of FirsTech Solution headquarters, under a small canopy better suited for protecting a vehicle that would not be able to make into a garage. In the distance, the faint sound of The Temptations singing “Just My Imagination” could be heard. It is obvious from his appearance that Ms. Ricci’s disappearance has affected him in a negative way. On the company website, the photo of Mr. Wickre is shown as young, physically fit man with a lush head of hair, impeccable teeth, chiseled good looks and stylishly dressed as if he were a professional model. At the news conference, he appeared gaunt, with a receding hairline, yellowed teeth and a pot belly, dressed in what some reporters would say would be more fitting of a man that declared bankruptcy and was only left with a $3 suit. His disheveled appearance and body odor were dismissed as the effects of spending the last week conducting his own search for the missing employee, thereby preventing him from attending to his own hygiene.

    “It is with a heavy heart that we still have not been able to locate Elaine, a valued member of the FirsTech family” Paul Wickre said. “I have instructed all FirsTech employees to cease the quality work that we provide the federal government and assist in whatever way possible in bringing Elaine back home to us. Many a long night I sat down with Elaine to discuss business plans for the company, and more importantly, what made Elaine Elaine. Elaine was fond of imitation crab meat, always had a container of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter nearby, and was always playing Milli Vanilli on her IPod. She also spoke of her family. She once told me that her mother won the Grammy for Best New Artist in 1967, and she had an uncle that died during the Korean conflict. I believe that his name was Capt John Tuttle, and he was a surgeon with the 4077th MASH. From what she said, it was rather tragic. He leaped from a helicopter to save a wounded soldier, but forgot his parachute.”

    According to the company website, in addition to Karen Williams as Chairman of the Board, CEO & Acting VP of Sales Paul K. Wickre, FirsTech Solutions has a five person executive team from the IT industry, and six additional board members, besides the missing woman. Industry insiders find it rather unusual that a company that has only one software sale to the federal government could sustain such a work force, but the company website claims to have earned in excess of $2,000,000,000, so split 14 ways, they manage to get by.

    Besides her work building the capital infrastructure of the firm, Mr. Wickre said that the missing woman is a graduate of a top 5 business school with an MBA, but for some reason he cannot provide the name of that school, even though it could only be one of five schools. She was also spearheading a contract to provide Y3K software for the federal government. “The year 3000 is only 986 years away, and FirsTech will be ready” Mr. Wickre enthusiastically said. Besides the Y3K project, she also just closed a deal to provide IBM 5100 computers and dial up modem access to Amish communities, which helped FirsTech sales top over $5000 in FY14. Ricci also “holds a Masters from the Antioch School of Law” and in addition to having a “pedigree in Washington Lobbying”, she won Best In Show at the 2013 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.

    At this point in the news conference, the door to FirsTech Solutions corporate headquarters opened, and a woman later identified as the current Chairman of the Board looked at the assembled reporters, slammed the door, and locked it. A short while later, she came out, turned on a garden hose, and inadvertently soaked Mr. Wickre while trying to hose down the reporters. The conference came to a quick end as his private security detail of Ambassador Worldwide Protective Services and Prudential Services employees escorted him to the main entrance of the company, which was for some reason inexplicably locked.

  29. I just checked out Stately Wickre Manor/FirsTech Solutions Corporate Headquarters, and yes, they added another car canopy in their driveway. The new one is a double wide shelter. He must have gotten a good deal at Big Lots. Of course, he stills hasn’t scratched together $20 to buy a mailbox with a door. I am sure that the neighbors are thrilled with the two tents in the driveway driving down property values. And what’s with the freshly turned dirt in the front yard? Either that is where the authorities will find the missing Elaine Ricci, or all of those cans of discount chili that Paul has been clogged his sewer line.

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