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Joel Scott “Amy J.” Kleyla; Swollen Valor phony SEAL

by Jonn Lilyea••152

Totally legit Navy Whale

Someone sent us that photo last night and I put it on our Facebook page this morning, but Don Shipley wrote to tell us that he’s run into that SEAL fellow before. Yes, it’s a guy. Now he goes by the name Amy J. Kleyla but his birth name is Joel Scott Kleyla. Of course, he was in the Navy, so that makes him a SEAL;

Joel DD214

Actually he was a SEABEE and Don says that he’s crossed paths with this fellow before. It’s time to shut this f*cktardery down. Don says that he claims 3 Purple Hearts from Desert Storm – that I believe. Anyone shooting a rifle in the entire theater of war could hit him.

Joel more

Yeah, these aren’t real either;

joel 2

I stole the title of this post from Don’s email with the documentation.

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152 thoughts on “Joel Scott “Amy J.” Kleyla; Swollen Valor phony SEAL”

  1. “Yeah, these aren’t real either;…”

    Well.

    YOU can just pay for my eye bleach, thank you very much. 😀

    Mike

    1. Pass some of that eye bleach this way. That’s one of those “things that have been seen can’t be unseen” kind of things. Gave me the creeps when I saw it.

      1. I feel like I may be coming down with some of that PTSD, it’s been going around lately and I hear highly contagious

    4. Dear God, Jonn, what did any of us ever do to you to deserve something that unspeakably horrible????

    2. Well the AF SSgt is so out of regs it is ridiculous. The Army SFC appears to have every ribbon known to man but his highest award looks like an AAM.

      1. Yeah, the guy in the Class A uniform has his ribbons all out of order. And I’m doubtful a guy his age has a CAB. Nice soul patch that the AF dingleberry is rocking.

      2. Well the rainbow pin on the AF SSgt’s flight cap was never authorized. But his U.S. lapel pins without the circle, and blue name tag were correct for a period of time in the late 90’s. I think the silver name plate for service dress was adopted around 2003(?) And the Air Force went back to original enlisted US pin around 2008.

        1. The silver name plate was 2003, but the roundel US insignia started in 2006. However, I was referring also to the fact that he had he pin on his cap. The cap is entirely too small and his jacket sleeves are far too short. As well as wearing the white gloves.

    3. I’m guessing this is one of those ate up “honor guards” that usually results in people getting busted. What organization they are from is rather questionable.

      1. Green Thumb…The AF guy looks queer as a three dollar bill. And what the hell is that shit bling on his c@nt cap?

          1. They must all be members in that San Francisco Legion or VFW post with that transvestite.

  5. Goddamn! What the Fuck? That first picture reminds me of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man! Where’s the Ghostbusters when you need them?

  6. I just threw up in the back of my throat a little, thanks for that before breakfast. 🙂

  7. Forks. Eyes. NOW.

    Good thing “it” was a Seabee. Only way that heifer would get on a submarine is if someone greased those hips and threw in a candy bar.

    1. Come on now, 2/3 of the way into a patrol I thought bubbleheads might get into squeezing those fun bags, right? Yes, I am a surface dude.

  9. I wonder what the occasion of the photo was. To bring out an AF SSGT and an Army, (photo too small for me to make out) enlisted guy, plus the whale here. All in white gloves. Must have been a circle jerk and everybody wanted to keep their hands clean. I’ve seen some hard up times guys, so yea…I’d do it. Well to clarify, no, not the Navy Moby Dick standing there, I mean I’d use the AF c@nt cap with some hand lotion.

    1. I’m guessing that this is some kind of a gay pride event given the rainbow thing on the USAF guy’s cover. This should be an embarrassment to the entire DADT repeal community. You asked for it, you got it.

  10. The little rainbow thingy on the air farce guy’s hat is a nice touch.
    And I’m skipping the bleach and going straight for the nitric acid.
    Thanks Jonn…

    1. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Thar she blows”
      Also the army guys looks like an reserve e7 MP.
      Totally embarrassing. Now back to the nitric.

      1. nbcguy54…You hold the gun on me for the nitric, then I’ll return the favor and hold it on you.

      2. Given the additional ribbons after the ARCOTR on the MP, I’m going to guess that he is in the National Guard, not the USAR. Of course, he has to be a guard guy.

  11. And this is what ye have shipped for, men! to chase that white whale on both sides of land, and over all sides of earth, till he spouts black blood and rolls fin out.

  14. Take some comfort in this, gentlemen: the elephant seal wants to be a girl. Should he be detusked and neutered, then he can’t reproduce.

    And can you think of ANY guy, even the grungiest, nastiest old bosun’s mate who would want to hump that **@ck even when stinkin’ drunk after a 3-day shore leave in Olongapo or Angeles City or Hong Kong?

    ‘Cause I can’t.

        1. I’m not sure they would have cared… I caught one of ’em eyeing a cinderblock because it had a hole in it.

        2. Fell of my chair laughing again.

          Thank you!

          May I suggest next time, he should use the cardboard tube for the TP roll?

          2. “May I suggest next time, he should use the cardboard tube for the TP roll?”

            Shit,,, do you have a hidden camera that spies on me?

    4. “She” would be what we PACFLT squids called a “Midway Island 10.”

      After we drank a case or two of course.

  15. The E-7 looks like he’s wearing an INCOM (Indiana Commendation Medal) a state level award (1st individual award from left, 2nd row from the bottom as you look at the picture), as well as the Indiana Military Volunter Emblem (1st unit award. Note: the decoration is on backwards, blue/yellow, not yellow/blue). I’d be willing to bet his awards are legit, just dicked up.

    1. That is exactly what that is. I was awarded one after my redeployment back in ’07.

  16. Also enjoyed the photo with the Colors and the POW/MIA flag making an appearance with the rainbow flag. If that wasn’t the worlds biggest clusterfuck of a color guard, I want to see the one that tops it.

    Wondering what “sporting” event that gaggle of sad shit infested.

  17. Said it before, “Man…the things I run into when I don’t have my baby seal club!”.

    1. You have time to go back and get it. It’s not like that one would be able to get too far away.

  18. I saw that last picture and the first thought that popped into my head was “Did the Trophy Lounge re-open?” (For you landlubbers going huh?…Trophy Lounge was San Diego’s local wildebeest watering hole.)

    1. Holy Crap! I haven’t thought of the Trophy Lounge in years!
      It would for fit right in.

      *so I been led to believe…

    2. I ‘heard’ that the best time to hit the Trophy Lounge or Gator Gardens was right after a CVBG left for deployment. Whole lot of new faces…..

  19. All three are frauds.

    The only woman ever to become a US Navy SEAL is Demi Moore (in the true to life action packed Hollywood motion picture, “GI Jane”). This sea animal is NO Demi Moore.

    All three are as jacked up as a “football bat”.

    The END!

    PS: Spear gun and eye bleach at the ready!

  20. I am taking a free online Intro to Physiology class pretty soon because it is something I am interested in learning about. I was asked to take a pre-course survey to determine why I wanted to take the class, what my educational background was like…stuff like that. I was a little concerned when I got to the part where they asked my gender. There were, you see, three options: Male, female and other. Which, when you think about it, indicates that there are more than three gender options since “other” is undefined and could really mean anything.

    AmyJoel here makes me think I might have discovered “other”.

    Why everybody gotta be a StEAL? Just be a confused dude who served honorably.

      1. I guess the “I decline to divulge that information” answer they provided for other questions wasn’t good enough for gender.

    2. “GENDER” is incorrect usage, as the definition is solely an English language grammatical term, having no place in describing human physical attributes.

      So, why is everybody so embarrassed to say the word, “SEX”?

      How did the word, “SEX”, become politically incorrect or socially unacceptable?

      1. Because if the survey asked for “sex”, the answer is clearly “YES”.

        Hat tip to Benny Hill…

  21. I’ve fucked most of my friends with my lies. She’s my type (blonde like Sheri and Donna Yaklich) and has my body mass (height/weight proportional, right?). We both have boobs although my man-boobs are bigger, more natural, and more giggly. She’s a SEAL and I’m an Anti-SEAL so opposites attract. I’ll bet she likes donuts…which I could hide in the ample extra room in my jock strap.

    Haters gotta hate while playahs gotta play….I’m playing with that SEAL hottie!

    sincerely

    John “Faker 6” Giduck

  22. You folks have it all wrong…

    The photo was taken at a poser convention, hosted by homosexuals.

    Sadly, we’ll see a lot more of this fucktardery in the future.

  23. There is a good chance these dudes/ettes are in AVER. American Veterans for Equal Rights. Big on doing/leading parades with Color Guard. Started in Denver or something. Now national.

    Guess the focus.

  24. Just to be sure, I say SHOOT IT BEFORE IT MATES AND LAYS EGGS!! Jesus H. CHRIST wrapped in C4, claymores and det cord on a bamboo raft, WTF, WTF, WTF, OVER?!! I see that the “E7 MP” is wearing his beret like a stoned French doughnut cook to boot!

    I’ll start with a quadruple bourbon on the rocks with a gallon of Brain Bleach for a chaser!!

  25. I have this little, teensy weensy desire… to get in the face of one of these ‘wannabe a girl’ slumdwellers and flaunt my girls at him, yelling ‘Hey, MAN, mine are real! I was BORN THIS WAY, you phony bushwhacker! You JUST WISH!’

    Then I can walk away giggling.

    Oh, sorry – that was SO mean of me. 😛

    1. Let me know when tickets for this event go on sale.

      /I’m buying them *all*. I’ll be a billionaire.

    3. Hmm… It would be a lot of work, but I think I just found a way to get PH2 to flash me!

  27. The rainbow flag being presented with the colors in that gym photo just made me throw up in the back of my mouth.
    How F*&$ing insulting can one special interest group be!

  29. I know somewhere out there is that legitimate former SEAL who had the sex-change surgery. There was a post about in on here. That gal needs to track Amy down and kick her ass. Then no one could call it a hate crime. Just a real SEAL kickin’ a phony’s WIDE ass.

    2. Yeah, that was in the Robin Mitchell post too. Robin Mitchell tried to call out Beck for some strange reason.

      Some of these transgender characters who are playing phonies just seem to have a habit of lying.

  30. DD214 says it was RIF’d out. I found on the interwebs it’s claiming Medically Retired. Makes me wonder who paid for (or subsidized) those things on its chest. I got a bad feeling….

    1. I read in the last day or 2 (Drudge?) that ObamaCare will now cover addadicktome’s and the reverse procedure…forget what Rush calls it.

    1. I’ve seen that it has quite a few facebook posts in regards to VFW Post 1111 in Indiana. Claiming to have combat time too, is it?
      The only fight that thing has been in is over the last piece of chocolate cake at Golden corral.

  32. You need to put up a damn warning before exposing us to those kind of images. Not enough brain bleach and whiskey in this state to burn the memory out of my brain

  34. YGBSM.

    Saw this after I got halfway through a sandwich at my desk.

    BLECCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

      1. Jonn…Not your fault, it’s mine. I just had to Google that “thing” Autumn Sandeen. “It”, scared the living crap out of me! Now I need a lobotomy to help forget or a good round of ECT.

            1. You may have a point – most of the songs about the Army are either country & western or marching band music.

              1. Hondo,

                It is not what we wanted, it is what we got and now that we have it … It is ours!

            3. Does anyone besides me remember this Air Force recruiting song, used in a television commercial, which I watched on AFRN when I was in Germany in 1968-1969?

              “They took the blue
              From the skies
              And a pretty girl’s eyes
              And a bit of
              Old Glory, too,
              And gave it to the men,
              Who proudly wear
              The U. S. Air Force blue.
              And you can wear it, too.
              The U. S. Air Force blue!”

              However, the television commercial, and the song, disappeared because women and black people were offended.

              2. Am I missing something? Why would black people be offended about the recruiting song?

            4. Now here’s an Army song that finally brings out the truth…

              Oh! It’s a Lovely War!

              Oh, oh, oh it’s a lovely war. Who wouldn’t be a soldier, eh? Oh it’s a shame to take the pay.
              As soon as reveille has gone we feel just as heavy as lead,
              but we never get up till the sergeant brings our breakfast up to bed.
              Oh, oh, oh, it’s a lovely war.

              What do we want with eggs and ham when we’ve got plum and apple jam?
              Form fours. Right turn. How shall we spend the money we earn?
              Oh, oh, oh it’s a lovely war.

              When does a soldier grumble? When does he make a fuss?
              No one is more contented in all the world than us.
              Oh it’s a cushy life, boys, really we love it so:
              Once a fellow was sent on leave and simply refused to go.

              Come to the cookhouse door, boys, sniff the lovely stew.
              Who is it says the colonel gets better grub than you?
              Any complaints this morning? Do we complain? Not we.
              What’s the matter with lumps of onion floating around the tea?

            5. And you picked the version with the ship containing two V2M 1200 psi boilers and a giant Westinghouse steam turbine.

    1. Yo ….

      Most US Navy … well not all … I mean … few … ah … only sum … may be alot … what I meant to say is … We are not all GHEY!

      Carry on!

  38. Looks like Herman Melville wasn’t writing fiction after all. Moby Dick is real!!!! Man the harpoons!!!!

    1. “Thar she – um, he – um, it – uh, wha . . . . ”

      Aw hell, I can’t bring myself to finish that inappropriate quote. Nor can I figure out how to finish it! (smile)

  39. That building looks like the All-Points Logistics HQ.

    There must be some sort of company event or party.

    This picture must have been taken outside.

    1. Mr. Thumb

      You finally got one right. Of course, “I don’t cut my meat where I make my bread” so I could never hire that sexy Ms. Thang….I want her to be all mine.

      I’m an anti-SEAL so opposites attract.

      sincerely

      John “Faker 6” Giduck

  40. Hey, it’s the Village People re-union! (Where’s the construction worker and the leather guy?)

  42. Oh my heavens.

    I feel as if I must now pluck out my eyes and donate them to charity.

    Jonn, you have to warn people before you show obscenities like that!!! 🙂

    The beached whale on the right is bad enough, but the guy in the AF uniform … as Rocky Squirrel would say, “Hokey smoke!”

  44. I was too busy at work to check up on TAH this morning; glad I missed this post when it originally came out; not sure I could have survived the work day while temporarily blinded by the horrific images posted above…

  46. I thought something about the color guard picture was familiar.

    That picture was taken at Bankers Life Field House in Indianapolis. I have been there one time to watch a Pacer’s game.

  47. The mother of the phony chick that’s also a phony SEAL told him that he could be anything he wanted to be when he grew up. He chose to be a shemale blimp.

    And what’s with his 8TFU buttbuddy in the class As? Chef Boyardee wants his chef hat back, and MSG Soup Sandwich looks like he found a replacement.

  49. Is that old dude in the greens wearing MP collar brass insignia?

    Also, a lot of time on that ribbon rack.

    And rocking the AAMs.

  50. I wont comment on the large size person or anything to do with the LGBT community.
    But the way that dude in what looks to be cutoff whites at the end of the colorguard?? Is he holding the pole that way cause he thinks its a dick extension? I mean, damn dude, guess you think you have a big pole between your legs & you want everyone to know it?

    And for those making fat jokes.. take a look in the mirror, bet you aint no skinny minny either, just like way too many americans. America is fat these days.

    1. Since you have no comprehension about what it actually means for someone like this to falsely claim an honor which only a very select few can claim, Diane, and since you obviously have no understanding of anything having to do with military service, including the color guard, you need to shut the goddamn fuck up, you rancid cunt.

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