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Yer Friday Funny – Truly Unfortunate Names

by Hondo••71

Sometimes people just don’t think ahead, or consider how what they do or say will be perceived by others  That’s resulted in countless problems – including some hilarious ones involving names.

We’ve all heard of the, um, “unfortunately named” late NASCAR driver Richard Trickle.  Well, turns out there are a fair number of others out there with a similar problem.  This article lists a substantial number of such unfortunately-named individuals.  Some are hilarious.

They missed my personal favorite, though.  (smile)

So – what’s the most unfortunately-named person you’ve ever heard of?

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71 thoughts on “Yer Friday Funny – Truly Unfortunate Names”

  4. I served with two Marines whose last names were Major. Hilarity ensued when they were E-5 Sergeant’s and we used to call for them. “Hey, Sergeant Major”. Even more hilarious was when either one of them was in the presence of our Battalion SgtMaj. and we would call for them. I am sure you are all just pissing your trousers picturing it for yourselves……..Sorry, I will get back to work now……

  6. MGySgtRet: I once worked for a guy with the last name “Major”.

    He was an O-4 at the time – Army. (smile)

  10. Don’t overlook the Foreman brothers. There are what, five or six of ’em–all named George. A woman I know nmaed her child Vendetta. When asked how the name was selected, she said she had heard it and thought it a pretty name. (She may have been interviewed in the Darwin Award thread.)

  12. Ex-military Richard Hoar (rhymes with boar), that would be PFC Hoar, Richard….

    Also, I know a young man (non-military) named Robert “(his friends call him)Bobby” Balzac (rhymes with ball sack)….

    That’s all for me.

  16. Copp was the last name of a sheriff’s deputy who pulled me over many many moons ago. I kept the citation because it was just so bizarre.

  17. I knew a woman who had a rear end that simply did not fit the rest of her body. I’m talking H.U.G.E., like if she went 160, at least 50 of it was ass. Her last name–and I kid you not–was Butt.

  18. @14 No, I don’t think so. She was in her 70’s when I first heard about her, and that was almost 10 years ago.

  20. I arrested a young lady, first name Airmeter. Her momma explained that when she delivered the young lady, she’d never been in a hospital and the first thing she focused on was the oxygen flow meter. After the nurse tried several times to explain what the meter was and what it did, she told her, “just think of it as an airmeter”. And, Airmeter was born.
    Of course, momma pronounced it “Ahhmeta”.

  22. A maintenance company I worked with when I was PTAE was commanded by CPT Kunz ably assisted by 1SG Peters (they painted a mural at Buehring with those names when they passed through there during mobilization, so there is independent confirmation).

  23. Read Freakonomics.

    There is an entire chapter on this and the economic implications of a name.

    Two names mentioned, verified in gov’t records: one child named Lemon Jello, and another girl named… Shithead.

    Pronounced: Shateed. But Shithead is what the mother put on the birth certificate, because she thought it was spelled that way.

    NOT a joke…

  24. AIT on FT Bliss one of our perpetual screw ups was named Richard Rasch (not 100% sure on the spelling of the last name). Whenever he got in trouble the Drills would scream “Get over here PVT Dick Rasch!”

  25. In my youth, a neighbor had a large family, and then had twins. They were named “Aldon” and “Weldon”, (as in All Done and Well Done), and then proceeded to have still more kids.

  26. A lot of them weren’t real, but that was amusing anyway.

    I saw a newspaper headline once about a high school basketball player named Julie Godown. I worked with a guy once who grew up with a family name Green who named all their kids shades of green (Kelly, Forest, Fern, etc.).

  27. I can’t take seriously any such list that doesn’t include Dick Butkus.

    Played baseball with a fellow named Ethan Faggett. The ESPN guy reporting on the trade said something like, “And in return, San Diego gets so-and-so and Ethan …., uh FUH-zhay.

    Favorite dumb name is re the fellow who wanted his named changed to “Hi Hitler” [sic, obviously].

    Also, there’s this: American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse (“Blayde. The extra Y in there makes it 10 percent sharper. And don’t fuck with Blayde’s brother, Nyfe.”) http://deadspin.com/5924827/american-baby-names-are-somehow-getting-even-worse

  28. We had two guys in my company in boot camp named Sears and Rohrback. You can imagine the fun the CC’s had introducing them during inspections, etc.

  30. I don’t remember if I’ve told this story here before…but a long time ago a buddy of mine worked in an employment office, and had to find a job for a Vietnamese guy named “Dom Phuc.” Which he pronounced “Dumb Fuck.” The worst part was having to call the employer the next day, to ask whether Dom Phuc showed up for work…

  32. Buddy of mine had a child born at Martin Army Community Hospital and the lady in the next room named her child Mcoe because there was a photo on the wall of the MCOE (Maneuver Center of Excellence) CG.

  34. @20. That is absolutely credible. Folks used to get names exclusively from the Bible, with Jews often picking the OT names and Christians NT names. Added to that, of course, was the custom of naming a child after an ancestor. Somewhere along the line, it changed to naming children after inanimate objects and whatever sounded good to the namer’s ear (e.g., Poinsettia). Go figure.

  37. I grew up in Miami in the 60’s
    Went to school with Duke Peacock, and Cosmos.

    For years in Cheraw SC there was a CPA Hiram White
    And oven in NC was the Optometrist C. M. Young

  38. Here’s another. When I was assigned to the 3/22nd in Hawaii during the early ’90s someone in the battalion thought it was funny to room SPC Coffee and PFC Creamer together.

  39. I remember seeing a window sign that said “Dr. C. A. Cheek, Dentist” when I was in college.

  41. Houston philanthropist and nice lady: Ima Hogg
    The doc who did my shoulders: Richard Nixon (Rick, NOT Dick)
    Another rank: Sgt Terry Major circa 1983 or so
    And the wife’s favorite.. a local lady who named
    her kid Ta-a… pronouced Tadasha.

  42. I knew a Major Woody and a Captain Dick. Never got to see Captain Dick promoted to Major Dick though.

  43. In my old unit, we had a cook who began in the Navy then went into the National Guard. His name was Samples.

    There was another guy, same story, but with the Marines. His name was Moorhead.

  44. Sorry for the double post. Just remembered one more.

    We had an E-6 who went ROTC. Everyone was just waiting for him to get his Railroad Tracks… His last name is…

    KIRK!

  46. When I was a cashier, I had to thank people by their last names. One of the names was Massengil.

  47. Also, a neighbor across the street was named Bates. he was some kind of martial arts instructor so they had to call him Master Bates.

  48. One of my best buddies has the last name of Butz, as in ‘boots’. Unfortunately, it’s prone to being pronounced in other ways. However, the tradeoff is that he can go ‘Bootsie’ as a nickname.

  49. I went to school with a girl named Lisa Screws. And yes, the boys had a heyday with that.

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