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The passing of a legend (Morgue report added for doubters)

by Jonn Lilyea••67

Someone dropped off a link in one of our posts today that announced the passing of the winner of our Phony Soldier Tournament, the fellow whom I named General Ballduster McSoulpatch. Even the Army Times like the name.

I remember when we first met, in a picture that the folks at POW Network sent me one Saturday and I distributed the photo to the MilBlog community and we started our first pitchfork brigade search for him. It was the first time that I realized the reach that TAH had when a member of the Houston gay community dropped a dime on him.

Apparently, he passed just a few months before the tournament, so it’s sad that he never knew how much we really thought of him. But here’s the obit;

RIP, General. I hope that tourney win will get you some special privileges in the eighth circle of Hell (Malebolge, for you Dante fans, is where frauds spend their eternity).

Updated for the doubters who think he faked his death, too. Thanks to billo at Blackfive for the links for the final research we have to do on this ass-munch;

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67 thoughts on “The passing of a legend (Morgue report added for doubters)”

  2. If he bit the crimson shillelagh before being voted #1, doesn’t the honor fall to the first runner up?

  3. ” . . .passed away suddenly, but peacefully. . . .”
    From what? A drug OD? Final complications from AIDS? Or some other STD? In the hospital after an ass-whupping in a back alley?
    Give us a clue, Soulduster. The Ouiji board is warmed up and waiting.

  4. Well…I guess it will be Soup Sandwich by default then…though I am sorely disappointed that my vote went for a dead guy.

  6. I’M SURE YOULL GET PLENTY OF CHANCES TO GET TO KNOW HIM IN HELL YOU PATHETIC LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

  11. I wonder if they had Soup and the rest of the finalists at the funeral to bestow pseudo military honors.

  12. Also, I love the part that went “survived by cherished friend Alvin Chan of New Orleans.” more than likely a Thai rent boy?

  14. I am sorely disappointed that my vote went for a dead guy.

    Could be worse, you could a Democrat and you’re voting when you’re dead.

    Sorry, lurkers–I’m not going to cry too much over this one.

  17. He’d want to be buried close to Alvin because he wouldn’t be able to bear the thought of leaving his buddy’s behind.

  19. So Spork, are you a “Deather”?

    (If I had PACER, I would look up his case, and see if it was rendered moot by death.)

  24. I think we should rename the award in his dishonor thus sustaining the legacy he established in his brief time on earth.

    Soup couldn’t win a match with a dead guy? Classic!

  27. he has to play dead so that he and the TURD-BURGLAR mailhan can sneak off and rub rank in secret.

  28. Oh did he get buried with all his CIA medals and a dildo in appropriate orifice? Hey maybe he’ll end up on 1000 ways to die. I can already see the title “Cock-a-doodle-do”

  30. If this is his soulmate, then don’t belive I’ll be eating at the Pizza Hut not very far from me:
    http://www.sos.la.gov/tabid/819/Default.aspx

    Business: ALVIN B. CHAN, INC.
    Charter Number: 32033640 F
    Registration Date: 12/27/1977
    Domicile Address
    5 BEACONSFIELD CT.
    ORINDA, CA 94503
    Principal Business Establishment in Louisiana
    PIZZA HUT
    CROWLEY, LA 70526

    Might there be a different type white cheese on their pizza’s?

  31. #10 SG – Spew alert please. I wasted a good drink of Bud.

    Y’all are going to to learn the facts soon that Gen Ballduster is actually undercover now and on another secret mission

  35. Wow, talk about mixed emotions. Don’t get me wrong, the guy was total asshat. But it was his photo that first brought me to TAH…..and it’s been so much fun since I’ve been coming here.

  36. The fact he died is irrelevant!

    If an actor wins an academy award, and dies a few weeks later, he does not ‘forfeit’ the award.

    Ballduster was a legend among phonies, he deserves to live in infamy as the inaugural winner.

    I raise my nutsack in his memory.

  37. It was The JMB Tourny that brought me here, only it was the write up for the Phony Marine Lesbian Pirate. The fact her fraudulent youtube video still exists to this very day angers me.

  38. While I admire the dedication of the “Soup group,” let’s have no more talk of reopening the tournament. There was no rule about being “alive.” If there were, we’d still be in litigation over who won “from the neck up.”

  40. ^This guy will be found in his mother’s basement 3 years after he kicks over, because no one gives a flying fuck about him.

  44. @24, 33, 39: Fully agree. How about it, Jonn? The “Xth Annual ‘MG’ Ballduster McSoulpatch Memorial Military Phoney Award”? IMO that has a nice ring to it.

  46. Come on, now. You can’t call the Superbowl the “Walter Peyton Memorial Game”; the MacB’s monicker shouldn’t change either. However, there should be a Ballduster Memorial Trophy for the fake with the most flamboyant uniform, or the J MacB’s Ballduster Stolen Valor Hall of Shame.

  47. Would someone recommend a good book on Army and Air Force uniforms? I will admit I’m woefully. Ignorant about your guys’ uniforms, soup sandwich was obvious but not knowing enough about your badges and hash marks, etc someone could get away! Thanks and Semper Fi.

  49. Yat Yas 1833: Ask and ye shall receive – well, for the Army, anyway. The current Army Uniform Reg is available on-line.

    http://www.apd.army.mil/pdffiles/r670_1.pdf

    Marlow White also has it available, as well as (purportedly) the Navy Reg (but I’m guessing you know that one well enough) and the USPHS uniform reg. They don’t seem to handle USAF and USMC, though.

    http://www.marlowwhite.com/army-uniform-regulations.html

    Can’t speak for an AF source, but someone here can probably point you at one.

    — break —

    teddy996: not sure that’s a good argument. While they didn’t rename the Super Bowl, the NFL did rename the NFL championship trophy the Lombardi Trophy after Vince died.

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