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Stupid poser tricks

by Jonn Lilyea••56

Do you know what you’re looking at there? I’ll let the guy holding the hat tell you;

I was on a 14 hour patrol and we decided to take just a quick break, get our bearing. Someone had the great idea of dismounting from the vehicles, so we were on foot. The unit I’m with doesn’t take things too serious when we don’t have to, so taking off helmets is acceptable, especially if it’s just to scratch your head or splash some water on your face. The sun was right on me, so I threw on my lucky RT hat. I normally pull my hat down all the way, but for some reason, this time I had a little bit of space between my head and the hat. That space saved my life.
I set my weapon down, right next to me and I had just sat down when what I thought was a gust of wind took my hat right off my head. Turns out, a 7.62mm round shot my hat off. So, with one hand, I’m reaching for my weapon. With the other hand, I’m reaching for my RT hat, which got shot again, this time blowing a hole straight through it. The second bullet also happened to graze my arm, still have the scar…
So, my team is calm and collected and we did indeed waste the entire hill/mini-mountain we assumed the sniper was hiding. No further shots were fired from either side and no one else was injured. Hell, I wasn’t even injured. Just a little scratch…

Yup, that’s supposedly the hole created by two 7.62mm x 39mm bullets that this douchenozzle claims his hat received while sitting on his obviously empty brain-housing group. Them’s some pretty big bullets, ain’t they?

One of the folks here who calls himself John, tracked the dude through his gaming IDs. Apparently, his name is PFC Andrew Santee and he’s a reservist in a Texas Psyops Company, says AKO and according to people who know him, he’s never deployed. If he had, he’d probably know that 7.62 bullets only make 7.62mm holes, like the holes John made in his own cap with an AK;

John adds: Also, he claims he thought it was a gust of wind. Not sure what the mythological sniper was shooting, but every bullet that came close to me made a nice loud crack, and I damn sure didn’t mistake it for a gust of wind.

Yeah, that hole looks bigger than two 25mm holes. But, according to his Rooster Teeth profile, the story did what he’d hoped and scored him some chickies’ email addresses.

Jonn Added 1-26-12: There’s another Andrew Santee who is a USMA Cadet, they are two separate and different people.

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56 thoughts on “Stupid poser tricks”

  6. “Now, for security reasons, I cannot give out my last name (unless we actually know each other outside of this site), my rank or my unit. Let’s just say I’m from Fort Bragg and I’m NOT 82nd Airborne…”

    And his handle is “Delta1689”?

    *snort*

    Wish he was here at Bragg. Would be worth creating a fake RT account and enticing him over… my knee. Then explaining douches don’t get safewords.

  7. its a shame, because I actually love RT, their work seems to remind me of so many privates I knew. That this guy faked out a war story to impress a gamer chick is just sad.

  8. Clue #1: No rank on his uniform
    Clue #@: No combat patch
    Clue #3: Reservist

    Down range we would have to chew major ass for stupid ass uniform violations like the supposed wearing of that gay ass hat. Now we know the SOCOM community had special uniform privlidges as they should but every now and then you would just see some retarded shit that just irks me. Example was this 55 yr old NG mechanic who insisted on wearing Cav spurs down range. Seriously??? The screwed up shit is his unit saw it and not one NCO said shit to him for days. Instances like this is nothing shy of a lack of discipline & a need to feel important!

  9. Now, now, he is in Texas. It IS possible a Mexican drug cartel or one of my fellow redneck neighbors was takin’ target practice….

  10. Wow. Talking about a small world. I just gave this to me son to read just because he is PSYOPS and thought he’d find it interesting. Wouldn’t you know it he went to AIT with the kid and has him on Facebook.

  11. This ‘tard is making up stories and nothing will happen to him. SSgt Wuterich, who was actually in the $h!t, is getting the big green weenie. Go figure!

  12. I emailed the writer of the story pointing out the discrepancies and this was her reply:

    “While it may or may not be a fabrication.. what difference does it make? It’s not affecting anyone, no one lost money or gave money to him, and all it is doing is making people proud to be in the presence of someone serving their country.

    I recommend you spend your time in a more productive way, and for something that actually matters.

    Thank you.”

    Let Barbara know why it matters directly, here: barbara@roosterteeth.com

  15. Kate – let her know.

    Cakmakli – care to share his facebook with us? Liars need no protection.

  20. Huh.

    I have BDUs with holes in them. Can I pass them off as bona fide bullet holes? I passed gas and shifted the fabric just in time.

  24. Hey, why not six languages? I’m fluent in English, Spanish, Jarhead, 4 year old, bureaucratese and hood rat!?

  25. maybe he fell on his head playing one of them hightech video games. PFC Poser is his new name.

    Remindes me of my last new 2nd LT I had before I retired (yeah I was just in the Army Nat Guard, but I did deploye) Some of us Iraqi vets would sit around bs’ing and telling war stories- some true, some made up. The new 2nd LT would start telling storied about “ROTC”. We just looked at him and laughed.

  30. She took down the article and sent out this email;
    Hello everyone,

    You have each messaged me separately concerning Andrew’s story.

    I want to apologize for my initial response.

    In no way did I mean to insult the armed forces, or make it seem like it was not important. I, nor Rooster Teeth, supports false stories. However, you have to realize, we spent the day with Andrew, and over the day, he seemed like a genuine, kind, and generous individual. He told us stories of when we he was deployed, one of which was the hat story.
    We had no reason to doubt him. None of us have served in the armed forces, so we do not know any better. We were just taken with what an amazing story it was.

    The next day, Andrew brought the hat to us. Seeing it in person after hearing the story was really cool for all of us, so we thought it would be nice to post a journal about it.

    After all this commotion, I have removed the journal.

    Whether or not it’s a lie, if it causes this much chaos, it needed to be taken down. I hope that will suffice, as we shouldn’t be drawing more attention to this.

    I appreciate some of you being kind to me about this. Others, not so much.
    I want all of you to know that I received some very harsh words from one of your fellow veterans.
    To quote:
    “Now if I were to tell you what a dumb fucking dirty cunt you were and wished for you to be skull fucked by a dozen inbred Taliban dirtbags, I could ask myself “Whats the difference?”

    In no way do I believe I am deserving of this treatment. Everyone at Rooster Teeth agreed this would be a great story to post on the front page of our community site. I just happened to be the person to do it.
    I have been extremely upset all night over this, almost to the point of tears. It is absolutely ridiculous that I should be spoken to in this matter.

    Thank you for your understanding, and thank you for your service to the United States.
    I wish you all the best, and again, I am truly sorry for any misunderstanding in my initial response.

  31. I already emailed her, and apologized on behalf the the idiot who sent her the nasty email. I happen to know who said fuck-ass is.

  33. Just put all his info, the story, his blogs and his facebook into a nice email and sent it to POWNetwork. Yep, he is going to have a nice spot on the interwebs shaming him for posterity.

  34. Hmmm. Tell a vet that “it doesn’t matter” when someone lies about his or her service then get upset, “almost to the point of tears,” (oh, the drama) for recieving a vicious reaction? Well, Babs, out here in the real world, we who understand what honor means have little sympathy for those who do not.

    You picked a side, Barbara. The wrong one. Whining about it really doesn’t improve the situation. You helped create the problem – so quit blaming the rest of us for your own screw up.

  35. Why is everybody so fuckin stupid? Posers don’t have a place to hide these days; trying to tout their farcical combat fantasies on the internet is like trying to cross the street in front of a speeding 18 wheeler. You know there’s a fairly good chance you’ll get hit but do it anyways. This douche rocket just got hit.

  36. @35: stupidity knows no bounds. They want to be noticed. They never grew up. This guy wanted to be noticed on a Halo forum? *facepalm*

    It’s like the kid who farts in class then can’t stop laughing. Funny when your in 3rd grade, not so much when your in college.

    Google Wolfgang Hammersmith (don’t do it while drinking anything), author, BS machine, he even published a book! he’s a legend in his own mind who made some $$$ off his stupidity before he got slapped down HARD by the real SF community. He’s lucky his not in jail.

  39. Ray–I’ve got this really nasty patrol sock from back in the first Gulf War…granted, we were nowhere near the Gulf, but whatevs.

    And yeah, whoever sent the tirade to the lady, even I find that pretty fucking offensive. She didn’t know any better, so save your derision, and do us a favor by playing in traffic before you send your next e-mail.

  43. @37: Redacted1775,“Dicksmith” is a “veteran” who writes for Veterans Today. It’s a website that has the same relationship to veterans that astrology website have to the Hubble Space telescope.

    Hammersmith claimed he enlisted in the marines at the age of 12(!) and rose from PFC to LTC. All while doing black ops hush-hush stuff. This halo-playing douche-nozzle is just a Hammersmith-type in their larval stage.

  44. Yeah, read some shit about Hammersmith. The part where his father took him into the desert and shot bullets at him so he would be “desensitised” at age 8 leads me to believe his father was trying to do the world a favor, but was just a really bad shot.

  46. Hmmm… The only Marine Corps program around, other the MCJROTC is the Devil Pups and you have to be teen aged, if memory serves. I had the privilege of being an ‘escort’ at Camp Pendleton one summer and these kids were all high school aged. BS alert?

  48. Veteran and RT user, here. I was just as livid as any of you at reading the poorly-worded and emotion-fueled response from Barbara, and at the point of ending my continued financial support for the site (in the form of sponsorship and merch purchases).

    Having said that, RoosterTeeth’s owner and CEO, Burnie Burns, has stepped up and issued a public retraction. It is currently posted in his journal, but I think that perhaps the intent is to have it posted to the main page as an RT Staff public blog entry. For me, the issue is resolved. Slighted though we were, I believe that we’re also pretty resilient and willing to move past an issue, especially once the CO steps up and takes the heat.

    The text from Burnie’s retraction:

    Retraction
    Before I begin what will most likely turn into a lengthy explanation and group mea culpa, let me just say that everyone at Rooster Teeth has enormous respect for the fighting men and women of the United States military.

    We recently had a visitor to the Austin Rooster Teeth studio who came in full uniform and presented us with a special gift — a hat which he said had been damaged in combat. We thought that was a very cool tale and we thought it would be fun to honor a fan’s combat service by posting his story in our blog. Shortly after the post hit our front page, we started to receive emails telling us the story was false and that we should remove it from our feed. Some of our staff examined the links being sent to us and determined that it looked like enough people with enough knowledge were saying this was a fabrication. Keep in mind, we’re not ballistics experts. We have no idea what size exit hole a round from an AK-47 should make. A member of the armed forces showed up in full fatigues, told us a story, showed us a hat and we took him at his word. That was our first mistake. While we are an irreverent comedy group, we do feel an obligation to post truthful information on our website especially when it comes to the very serious issue of battlefield valor. So without any real way to prove or disprove the story, we decided to remove it. We now believe that story was false and we don’t want anything on our site to indirectly diminish the service of soldiers fighting in an active war.

    However, removing the story from the site didn’t stem the tide of emails flowing to the inbox and they arrived in varying degrees of politeness. In replying to those emails, our new Community Manager made a comment in an email that in essence said the emailer should spend their time worrying about something more important. While she essentially meant “something more important than someone lying on the internet” this was very understandably interpreted as “something more important than someone lying about their military service.” That was our second mistake. Our Community Manager deeply regrets making that comment and sent an apology to the person to whom she made it. I also regret that we sent that original email. I feel that her private apology for a private comment is appropriate, but private emails can be posted to public forums making it feel like a public statement. It was not and I apologize to any combat veteran or their families who read that email.

    Hopefully, people will understand that this all began when we posted a reverential story about a (purported) combat veteran. In our attempt to do something nice for a serviceman, we ended up pissing off a whole bunch more. However, this whole misguided adventure started from a place of respect. We made some mistakes along the way, but I hope people can see through that to the underlying genuine spirit of the post.

  50. A few things:

    The hat in the photo has the classic burn ring with melted edges. Doesn’t appear to support his claim.

    The guy who e-mailed the female for her less than courteous response, calling her a C*. What the F* is wrong with you? Would you speak to anyone in person that way? How does that help garner respect for fellow veterans or in any way make service members look better? It degrades us all. 10 years of kicking ass in Afghanistan and one sick kid ruins it by killing 16 people, undoing all of our hard work, and putting the rest of us in danger. Please don’t reinforce the stereotype of the a*hole Soldier.

    Mr. Bernie Burns, Thank you for the retraction, and your understanding. I appreciate the sentiment of wanting to honor deserving Soldiers, and it is unfortunate that in doing so you unwittingly were deceived by this young man, then subjected to the viceral response of others.

    I do absolutely agree with the intent behind it, just not the manner in which it was done. @31-32, hooah.

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