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Carol Badoni – Fake Twice Wounded Afghanistan Veteran

by IAS••240

The folks at Military Phony sent us their work on Carol Ann Badoni.  Badoni is 50 y/o as of the time of this writing and lives in Burlington, Wisconsin which is about 40 min from Kenosha.  Her AKAs include: Karen Badoni, Carol A. Badoni, Carol Ann Badoni, and Karen A. Badonischultz.

After the shootings in Kenosha during the protests, Carol Badoni started showing up in the media doing interviews centered around her trying to do CPR on someone that was shot.

The person she claims that she tried to save was Anthony Huber, who was shot in the chest and died almost immediately.

Badoni appeared to show up first on CBS Chicago and was introduced as “former military” and a “military veteran.”

[videopress BlqEB193]

. . .

In the article above, there was a claim that she rushed into a hail of bullets and relied on her “Army training” to try and save Huber.

In another article, there was a claim that Badoni was shot twice while in Afghanistan.

Having been shot twice while in the military is a claim that Badoni makes on her Twitter profile.  This, in addition to claiming she served in the military for 20 years and is currently a U.S. Marshall.

CNN furthered this story when CNN’s Erin Burnett introduced Carol Badoni as a “20-year Army veteran with first aid training.”

[videopress lTZQUHwI]

. . .

Some very keen folks here at TAH picked up on this and said something didn’t smell right.  So, several folks got on this case.

The folks at NPRC said “Who?”

In addition, the DoD Manpower Data Center database could not pick up any active duty service for Badoni from 1986 – when she was 16 years old – to the present day.

There was extensive research done with genealogy, newspapers and address histories.  Badoni seemed to keep her same name through the years but even if she hadn’t the NPRC would have picked up military service.  NPRC was asked to check all branches of service to which the reply stated that they checked the Army, Air Force and Navy electronic systems and there were no records found for her and they have no records showing for her in their Registry.  NOTE: The U.S. Marine Corps relies upon Navy corpsmen, nurses, and physicians for medical support.

The point here is that there was not just a focus on the U.S. Army.  We accounted for journalists being loose with the facts since some lump all military service into the Army on occasion.  Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force — ah, it’s all the same, right?

Badoni’s address history showed no addresses around military bases.  Only Wisconsin and Florida.

So, there may have been a chance of being 20 years in the Reserve or Guard, but NPRC would have still picked that up.  If it was Reserve or Guard service, why would someone go to Afghanistan and be sent outside the wire to be wounded twice?

Also, there was a murder trial in 2008 where she was a key witness, but the prosecutor confirmed that she had bad credibility with telling the truth.  It came out that she was a mistress-lover to a murderer, she was a stripper, and she tried to commit suicide so many times that she lost count.  For context, Blumenfield was an attorney in the case.

Kenosha News – Thu Sept 25 2008 – Front Page + Page 8

If you study the timeline of Badoni’s life, it would have been difficult if not impossible to squeeze in 20 years of military service, so there’s that.  But on top of that, you would have had someone moonlighting as a stripper, committing adultery and having some issue with criminal charges all while serving in the Army and the Army didn’t take notice of any of it.

For instance, she was arrested for possession of a controlled substance in 2010, and arrested for trespassing in 2005.  Provided she got out of the military in 2008, she may have avoided scrutiny for possession of a controlled substance, but her 20 years would have to have been 1988-2008 give or take a year.

However, she was arrested for trespassing in 2005 and that would have been while she was allegedly in the military doing her 20 years.  She was in Florida at the time and there is no final disposition listed.  However, she claims to have been employed with the Daytona Beach PD and/or a U.S. Marshall so conventional wisdom would say that being arrested would be incompatible with a job in law enforcement.

Besides that, isn’t this the time she would have been runnin’ and gunnin’ in Afghanistan?  I wonder if she allegedly got shot twice in Afghanistan before or after her arrest in Florida in 2005?

Similar to a forgotten book stored in the musty attic for years, eaten up by silverfish – there are far too many holes in the story.

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240 thoughts on “Carol Badoni – Fake Twice Wounded Afghanistan Veteran”

  1. Boy oh Boy, been waiting on this one. Let me be the FIRST to welcome you Carol Ann Badoni, you lying Valor Stealing POS, to the next phase of your miserable life. Rot in Hell, Bitch, and may the Souls of Warriors, whose bodies you are standing on, and whose blood you are standing in, torment you for all eternity. Get Ready, the inherwebz are forever.

    Without further ado, and with a tip of the hat to our very own ChipNASA, I officially make a motion for the deployment of the Hemisphere of Insults for the lying, embellishing POS Carol Ann Badoni..#sayhername

    Can I get a SECOND and an AYE?

          1. OH WAIT!!!!!!!!!!
            In my excitement and against what others have posted here (tee fucking hee) I have forgotten an unwritten rule of the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ and a slight issue we have encountered here in the distant past at TAH…(And I hate to disappoint you, but….and there’s often a “but”…)

            We have discussed and used a degree of consideration and manors (Oh me, Oh My, Oh…) when this has come up that, it would seem that we would hasten to *NOT* deploy The glorious Hemisphere of Insults®™ upon those who have been graced with said “vagina”, lest we be considered misogynistic, and lacking couth and manners, and in addition, to avoid appearing as a gang of sexist and chauvinistic Neanderthals, we have left it to the lionesses of TAH to dispose of such dreck.

            That being said, and with your understanding, (I know, I know, there will soon be another opportunity), I’m going to leave it to the powers that be, to affirm or reject my stance on this, because in all fairness, I do believe there have been a few occasions where the wonder that is the HoI has been more than well deserved, but in respect to Jonn ,and his progeny, I will pause for a ruling from the higher court at TAH.
            Dave and or AW1Ed and the Like?
            Thoughts?
            Chipster the Curator

              1. My couth got lost back in ‘98 and the receptors were removed at Benning’s School for Wayward A-Holes in ‘02.
                I get the reticence, but what a case of flat out stupid WORTHY of HoI

                1. I think mine was lost at Peterson AFB after I almost got into a fight with my then SSgt supervisor in the warehouse for being late for lunch and being threatened with a Letter of Counseling but my two co-workers were just waved by.
                  I also was a little pissed when I was PCSing and I had two Letters of Reprimand for two times when I was on duty and had to ship two 999.MICAP (Missions Capable) work stoppage/aircraft down (down as not flying, not crashed) hardware through the civilian airport and one was UPS and one was counter to counter fly in the cockpit aircrew handling shipment, back before overnight Fed Ex, and both times, one item was 3 days late and the other was lost and took 10 days. Again, I get them across the flightline within hours of the beeper (yes *BEEPER*) ging off and going to supply and getting everything and packing it up and shipping it and then after it was out of my hands, the carriers fucked up and I got the LOR.
                  When I was leaving the Aerial Port Superintendent took them out of my file and gently dropped them in the trash. Dfauq? Oh well.
                  Joke’s on them, about 20 years later I became an E-8 Aerial Port Superintendent myself.
                  They’d probably have shit themselves learning that ever happened.

                  ANYWAY,
                  Yes this *snail trail* deserves the HoI, but we’ll see.

                  STANDING BY!!!!

                  C

                  1. No shit….
                    There I was !!!!
                    Another great tale of derring do from the leaders of the real insurrection !!!
                    United States Veterans !!!
                    Welcome back Chip, we missed the shit out of you !!!

                    1. Thanks Thunderstixx
                      I wasn’t really gone, just Covid lurking because working from home is different and I didn’t have as much, chair time in the cubicle watching dust accumulate when not working, taking calls, doing paperwork or fixing broken shit.
                      Now I’mma get my shit together nd be back on TAH regular.
                      Well at least posting and not lurking and trying to catch up with posts where I can’t read and post fast enough.
                      Also kids are back in school and I’m not having to referee them as much, LOL
                      Cheers all you fucksticks.
                      Chip

            2. Okay, you overgrown pussy-whipped dinks, I already insulted that slovenly slambanger slut elsewhere, so if you can’t do it, you a a bunch of dickless, nutless pillow-biting, crankless wannabes from the Gold Coast in Chicago.

              You just wish you were nasty. Instead, you’re milquetoast.

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka8oavwe9BA

              1. Chipster, I would take Ex-Ph2’s reply to be a “you are cleared hot to deploy the HoI!”

                Unless, of course, you WANT to be, “…an overgrown pussy-whipped dink, dickless, nutless pillow-biting crankless wannabe from the Gold Coast of Chicago.” Come on, you milquetoast, get nasty. My couth? They made it surrender. It’s pulling a wagon up Kansas way by now.

              2. Holy shitballs I’m on it.
                EX-PH2,
                I love you (you know that), I’m excited, I’m aroused, I think I have an inappropriate erection 😀 😀 😀
                Off to drop a bomb.

                SMOOCHES!!!!
                Chip

  2. So was the USSF (United States Space Force) predated by the USSF (United States Stripper Force)?

    What the penalty for impersonating a US Marshall?

    1. USAFRetired, Imma gonna go with United States Stripper Force, which was predated by the Continental Stripper Force. According to the FIRST Documented visitors to the Stratford Inn of Vermont, Inn Keepers Bob and Joanna found documentation from a weekend of froliking in January of 1775. The roots of the later Marine Corps and crayons are rumored to be from there too. Carol Ann Badoni’s GGGGGrandma may have been one of those very strippers. A continental breakfast was served at the JohnnyCake Cafe the morning after.

      They had to have Marines cause no other troops were strong enough to watch that skank dance.

      Fine and 3 years of Gray Bar Hotel for impersonating a US Marshall according to this and other sources.

      https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/912

      1. During her deployment to Afghanistan, she was assigned to a super special cultural support team tailored just for her “professional” experience. She would deploy into a taliban-controlled village, strip off her IBA and fatigues, and do an exotic performance for the terry talibans to “culturally support” them…

      2. Marines were from Tun Tavern not Stratford inn. Being born in a bar might have something to do with why they are what they are.

  4. MAN: Where’d you get that scar?

    BADONI: Afghanistan while serving in the military.

    MAN: Wow! That’s impressive.

    BADONI: Look, I have another one over here. I got shot twice.

    MAN: Thank you for your service.

    BADONI: You can show your appreciation a whole lot more by stuffing a dollar down my G-string or getting a private lap dance in the VIP room.

    1. Having seen both her current photos and the ones taken of her in the 90s/00s, no thanks. No way in hell I’d pay to see that.

        2. I’d spray her down down with a coat of CLP, grab my M-258 kit and hate slam the psychosis right out of her dirt box.

          1. Oh. My. Fucking . GAWD!!!
            I haven’t laughed so hard I’m tearing up.
            I’m not stealing this and trying to figure out how to add this to the
            The Hemisphere of Insults®™ before I have to deploy it for above said request for this skankosaurus.

            “hate slam the psychosis right out of her dirt box.”

            Chip

          3. M-258 kit – I get that reference.

            *Basic USMC NBC Course (Fort McClellan, AL – Graduated September, 1995

              1. Are they the personal decon kit that smells like fish and hot dumpster?
                That stink is still smellable all these years later.

                1. And the non-training ones are caustic and burn, apparently.

                  So if you are in the process of “personal waste elimination in MOPP IV” you are instructed to use them as TP. Youch.

            3. Fuse, we’re almost fellow alumni but I was a class or two ahead of you:

              US Army Battalion CBR NCO Course Fort McClellan, AL – Graduated September, 1965

  5. As of 8:35 this morning thre is no listing in the US Marshal Service global address list with the last name of Badoni.

  7. I don’t agree with her 15 minutes seeking but am not going to push an obviously mentally unstable individual. Let the US Marshals service deal with her. They take those crimes more seriously than our stolen valor cases anyway.

  9. Is is just me or does she look like she… uh… um… prefers women?

    (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)

      1. Well, if you watch the end of the CBS Chicago video, she shared a hug and a tear-filled moment with the “ex.”

        This is, of course, after she was jumping and pumping on an obvious corpse with an open chest wound. I wonder where she got her CPR training if not the Army?

    3. How can you make such a statement? Just because she has a dyke-looking haircut, does not mean she worked at a dyke stripper joint. Nor does the fact that she wears sleeveless shirts like any good dyke would.

      Leave the poor woman alone and advise Jeremy Dewitte there is an exceptional employee candidate with a combat history similar to his who would fit in perfectly as Motor 2.

      Sarc. OFF

    1. It’s like opposite of a Bradley-Chelsea Manning situation.

      Similar to “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” — Manning & Badoni meet somewhere in the middle.

      Carol “Bad to the Badoni”

  11. One correction for you: guard and reserve status does not keep you inside the wire by any means whatsoever. I deployed 3 times to Iraq and knew of many infantry/armor etc guard units take over the active component missions while coming on rotation.

    1. Word.

      This clownette takes the cake.

      Come next tourney time, I could see a deep run.

      US Marshal, 2x PH Recipient, First aid training (whatever the fuck that means), Stripper, and of course a dedicated employee at All-Points Logistics.

  13. Former Bar Slut turned carpet cleaner
    Amazing how most of the protesters
    At a lot of these protest are a who’s Who
    Of the felon of the month club

    Has anybody else’s noticed she’s raising money
    Using the injured wounded war hero story ????
    I absolutely hate POS’s like this

  14. “Marshall” is a proper name. “Marshal” is an office office or rank.

    A lifer is someone who does 30+ years in the military. 20 years is a career soldier (or sailor or Marine or airman).

    That the woman is a nutcase is obvious to anyone with any experience of the military, which leaves out damned near every member of the vaunted MSM. They don’t let their ignorance of the subject hold them back, though.

    1. Then should the (bat shit crazy Left wing) media do a Better job of vetting these
      fruit cakes ????
      Or should we just give someone a pass for being crazy ???
      I have plenty of friends who have retired
      From the army at 20 years

    2. Shell sez:

      A lifer is someone who does 30+ years in the military. 20 years is a career soldier (or sailor or Marine or airman)….

      When did that change? When I was in (1973 – 1994) a lifer was anyone who was in for the 20-year retirement. Amongst my E2~E5 crowd, anyone with over 12 years was considered “a lifer.”

      1. Yep, I had someone scream “effing Lifer” at me as I was walking down the street at Ft. Devens to the base personnel section to outprocess after resigning my RA commission. I must have appeared to be a “lifer” since I was in greens wearing full bling with polished jump boots and green beret. At that time, anyone who was intending to make the Army a career was considered to be a lifer.

        1. So …. why’d you resign your commission? To go back to being a line-doggie? You know, have more fun without having to have all the responisbility?

          [I almost shot coffee out my nose while writing that.]

          1. Uh, no. I saw the Army failing after Vietnam. One third of our officers were RIF’d. The 10th’s motto was “the Best of the Best.” At that time, it should have been “the worst of the best.” I had senior NCO’s that thought our exercise in Germany was some kind of two week Octoberfest party. I left with a reserve commission and joined the 19th SFG(A) HQ in SLC, Utah and went to law school.

            I never had “fun” as a leader of “line doggies.” It was always work. I worked my ass off six and seven days a week in Germany in the 509th, and then 24/7 everyday in Vietnam. And I had plenty of responsibility in my almost six years as a an Infantry and Special Forces officer on active duty. But, I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. I had orders to the Advanced Course, but I couldn’t see myself as a staff officer paper pusher for the next four to eight years. I was told that as an RA officer I would not likely get another SF assignment, and I wanted to stay in Special Forces units. If I had known about the future Ranger Battalions, I might have stayed in, as I thought battalion size was the only way Ranger companies would not be misused in combat.

            (That is my answer to your facetious question.)

            1. I’m glad you recognized my question as facetious.

              Dad went to the 77th SFG as a team sergeant in the early/mid 50s, got commissioned, then spent about 5 years as a leg officer (he was in the 505th since 1947 before going 77th); then, got to SFG again from 1963~68. Best time of his life (well, except as advisor to 11th Regiment in Thailand).

              [Larry Thorne/Lauri Törni was a corporal on his team in the 50s, and Dad was S4 at TngGp under Aito Keravuori from 66-68.]

              Mebbys if you stayed, you could have done something similar; or, as you said … Ranger Regiment.

              But it seems that your path was the right one for you, and that you excelled in your post-army life.

              Cheers (no facetiousness this time ’round),

              rgr1480
              Army Brat 1952~1970

              1. Back in those days, SF was full of displaced European refugees. They were an asset because they all spoke at least two languages. And they all hated commies with a passion, based on their first hand experiences.

            2. By the way, did you ever get your Yarborough knife? They came out much later, but you can still qualify to buy one. I did the paperwork for my Dad (he was 88 at the time; can’t use it, but sure likes it).

              https://chrisreeve.com/blogs/how-tos/yarborough-knife

              Notice 7/29/20 The Yarborough knife is available for purchase by US Special Forces Q-course graduates upon authorization from the JFK Special Warfare Museum. While the physical store is closed until further notice, Yarborough knife applications will continue to be processed.

              Authorization Instructions

              Please gather the following information:

              Full Name
              Civilian Address
              Telephone Number
              Email Address
              Documentary proof of Special Forces qualification i.e. graduation certificate, DD214, ORB/ERB, SF Tab orders, etc.
              Driver’s License photocopy
              Last four of Social Security Number

              Send the requested info to:

              Commander, USAJFKSWCS
              Bldg D-3004, Stop A
              JFK Special Warfare Museum
              Attn: AOJK-MU (Yarborough Knife)
              Fort Bragg, NC 28307

              1. Thanks for the info. I already have a collection of military SO knives: Fairborne British Commando; Randall survival w/ 5th Goup engraved; two V-42’s (repos), and M-3.
                A friend gave me an auto OTF and now I have several of those.

  15. Thoughts
    ►If you are wearing a mask while being interviewed on TV, especially OUTSIDE. . . evidence would suggest that you are most likely a virtue signaling POS. Maybe not. . . be but probably.

    ►She was there in the middle of the night at a protest riot. So the likelihood of her not being a POS is somewhat lessened.

    Can I get that ball started? “Protest-Riot?”
    Not that I think they know anything about the subject about which they are rioting.

  16. I suspect that the media pushed her story because of the military veteran angle. The media thinks having a veteran participate in the riots adds legitimacy to the riots. Note the previous protesters that have made the news with veteran status.

    1. I tend to apply Hanlon’s Razor to this. Stolen Valor, and the extent of it, isn’t widely known outside military communities. The media saw a story that sounded interesting, and in the interest of getting it out there fast in the 24/7 news cycle, didn’t do any due diligence.

      Remember when the Asiana 214 crashed? The media said the pilots were “Ho Lee Fuk” and “Sum Ting Wong”. Stupidity & no checking, not malice. The latter takes too much effort.

      3. And in San Fran-goddamn-cisco, no less! Of all the places in America, they *definitely* have no excuse!

  17. The media is pretty liberal with applying the term “exotic” in this particular case. What is the antonym of exotic? She probably hits the stage at closing time so that the Manager can get the crowd to clear out.

    1. During Vietnam Times her type would be the reason for frequent unnannounced
      changing of MPC currency. Mama-san don’t strip for piastre.

          1. In about 2013, ol’ Carol posted a video begging Joan Rivers for money for plastic surgery. Too bad for us Joan never coughed up the money for the surgery

  19. The dead give-away is “…was in the military for 20 yrs”. Anybody who made a career would have “20 years Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines” with a retired rank as well. If you read her tweets, she’s trying to grift some cash for a car while claiming as a disabled vet as well. Not surprised that CNN put her on with no vetting the “vet”. My Florida license Veteran in lower right corner for some verification.

    1. Kinda wondered if anyone else caught her grift for a car. Why don’t we pitch in together and buy her a strap-on, and then get her a box van to drive. Then she could change her name to Dick Van Dyke!

      2. I see a few people have already replied to the Twitter thread. I don’t use Twitter, but I’ll look into sending an email, too.

  22. She was a stripper?

    BARF!!!

    Did she train in her riot first aid along side our resident riot medic L.T.?

  23. Carol Badoni is what happens when an a noose and front butt prolapse and tie themselves into a bow.
    Turd.

  24. First, it was Nurse Maggie rappelling into the jungles of Vietnam to rescue the wounded. Now we have a faux 20-year vet “sprinting” into gunfire to aid a victim.

    When in blazes are the networks going to start vetting these stories before airtime?

    [Edited to remove PII from screen name. Welcome to the family, Dean. -Mason]

    1. When Carol Badass was shot in A’Stan, Maggot DeSanti rappelled down a Huey to treat her, and Jann Spann served as the flight nurse on her evac flight to Landstuhl….

  27. Two posts pending approval?!?
    Please please please be a sock puppet!!!!
    Defend the indefensible!!
    She lied, deal with it homeboy

  28. That was/is a stripper? Sweet Jeebus…the standards have fallen tremendously you had to at least look human to start with. I’d pay that Ultra-Mega-King Kahmehaha level beast to keep her clothes on, preferably a freaking burka or 2. Since she clearly wants to experience being shot, might I suggest we deposit her azz in the nearest Islamist neighborhood with a cartoon of Mohammed on her and let her find out what fun GSWs can be.

  29. I wonder if she ever did any private gigs in Elko NV?
    Just askin’ for a friend. Jeez, the shit some people will say just to get their five minutes of fame…

  32. You guys are far too tame. She’s a compulsive liar, a slut and an attention whore. Unless she’s exposed to the light of day for the crap she’s pulled (and punishment for it doesn’t seem to phase her at all), she’ll just go on with her crapazoid carnival until someone faces her down for it.

  33. “I will pause for a ruling from the higher court at TAH.
    Dave and or AW1Ed and the Like?
    Thoughts?
    Chipster the Curator”

    Apologize for the delay, Chip. Rather a lot on my plate lately. More like first line of defense than a Higher Court. *grin* But you asked, so…

    Your concern is valid, and the danger of becoming classified as “Misogynistic, and lacking couth and manners, and in addition, to avoid appearing as a gang of sexist and chauvinistic Neanderthals…” is real. Some would say we are already there. This is incorrect.

    I dislike generalities, but our common life experiences as military, First Responders, and the like have stripped us of the niceties of the euphemism- we speak our mind. Careful what is asked of us, because we will state exactly how we feel.

    As for the WOI, it is a powerful tool that should be used judiciously and rarely, as overuse will dilute its impact. That it also is a living document is evidenced by its growth over time, and the evolution of its deeply rich prose. Its intended recipients must be well deserving of the recognition.

    I don’t recall any specific criteria for being awarded the WOI, but general public shit-baggery over and above the banal, (usually presented by clueless media about brain-dead “personalities”) nominated and approved by TAH members in good standing seem to be the norm. The gender of the nominee, actual or self-identified, is immaterial. Ladies and gentlemen (in demeanor, not social status), honest people of good nature, those who strive to improve rather than tear down, have nothing to fear from the WOI.

    I make no “rulings” here outside my obligations as an Admin. This is YOUR place; I just herd the cats. That being said, Brother Chip asked my advice. Here it is.

    Give the bitch both barrels.

    2. “TAH members in good standing” um, I’m sure most of us are belly creatures.
      Give ‘er the Big Stick (Stink?)!

      1. AYE, AYE, AYE!!! This is not an AYe of my original motion, which has already been seconded and AYED. This is an AYE to the SECOND made to AW1Ed’s comment on the HoI.

        I’ll just leave this here for the Chipster:

        FIRE MISSION…FIRE MISSION…FIRE MISSION! UNMASK ALL GUNS…BRING TO BEAR…ALL BAT-TREES…TIME ON TARGET…COMMENCE FIRING!!!!!

    4. I don’t think ChipNASA could insult that slovenly crapdancer if somebody overloaded his desk with dictionaries and thesauruses. Too tame. Too low-key. Too delicate-minded. Too highly principled.

      If he doesn’t, I’ll do it for him.

    6. Well I very much respect AW1Ed and his position. He has put me in my place a few times here when I was close to being out of line and or annoying.
      AW1Ed’s post is extremely eloquent and ss always, thoughtful. Thank you for that Ed.

      That being said, I will waste no more time on this issue. In addition, I will yes, have additional consideration of deploying the greatness that is the HoI, because overuse, like AW1Ed said, dilutes it’s impact.
      It’s certainly been many months since we’ve deployed our beloved HoI, a lot, because, I don’t believe (and correct me if I’m wrong and point me to the particular thread) we haven’t had any real serious posers and douchebags (other than ourselves) here in quite a while.

      Also, as AW1Ed Said, Gender no longer will be a consideration in the deployment but I will add the disclaimer that the HoI is being used solely based on the individual’s behavior and accomplishments in stolen valor/abuse of military standing etc.
      Yes, we are our own group and yes, I believe we police ourselves quite well, having been here for a little while, SO all of that being said…..

      I believe we’ve met the TAH Roberts Rules and then some….

      I’ll open this with Samuel L. Jackson, and I’m hoping that we have some new TAH members (HI I’ve seen you out there!!) who can bask in the greatness that is the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ …

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXnG53304Hk&ab_channel=NextofKen

      1. The Hemisphere of Insults®™
        (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
        FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
        TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
        THREE PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!!
        DANGER CLOSE!!!!
        MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
        TAKE COVER!!!!!
        … Carol Ann Badoni. AKAs include: Karen Badoni, Carol A. Badoni, Carol Ann Badoni, and Karen A. Badonischultz. Basically “Cuntwipe Bad Cootchie” …HEY FECKLESS WONDER, We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, in addition, all references here to men/male genetalia/maleness also apply to you because you, well, look a touch *not* womanly, but let this NOT be confused as a compliment, because the same disgust and distain applies to you in every way vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, if you Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick., Anus tonguing shit slurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes, Pudwhack, pillock, Saltimbanco, zounderkite, Minger, Felonious Ass Pirate, get bent like a fucking pretzel, I mean, what in the roll tide, only has sex with family after Nascar, butt chugging box wine, mushy meth mouth, mountain dew snorting, corn dog anal injecting, only listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd when making cornbread, fuck, is going on, Fucking less worthwhile, hairier, dirtier and uglier than Hillary Clinton’s taint, if this guy even *had* a woman, or any balls, he’d keep them in her purse anyway, failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butterIf you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass, You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore,
        salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Sphincter reaper, Blower and boffer of balls, Devil of cock gobbling, Bacha bāzī “boy”, Dildohead, cunt giblets (Thanks ASMDSS), If this goose shit gobbling mongoloid were an MRE, he would be Spaghetti and Dick, is a sack sucking semen slurper, nut nibbling nincompoop, and jizz juicing jackoff. This guy, I mean, this fucking guy right here, is the poster boy for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as a fucking cross eyed, cock gobbling, 55 gallon drum of cock snot, dumpster fire, nsumbyeotchkizzmyazzwingwipineffoffanbeholdemyfieldofphuquesyouphuquingphuquer, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, his breath smells like he ate a dead man’s underwear, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, Dude looks like he smells like hot dog water, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter)

        1. (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, you are such a disappointment to the human race, I think I’m gonna have to court your slovenly, unhinged, cow of a Mother, in real life, second only to the character Annie Wilkes in Misery, and then hate slam the psychosis right out of her dirt box, such that another chromosomally challenged creature like you never occurs again, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, this is the kinda guy who’s feet swing when he’s on the toilet, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine, perpetual Turd that just keeps circling the bowl and will never flush, Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, This motherfucking guy makes my ass itch, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, spaghetti straw-sized personal organ, real boy babies have bigger nuts, putting the squeeze on this nugatory nut nibbler is not worth the juice, there are ants that are smarter than this dorkwad from the bottom of Poontang Pond, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, is a lying sack of wet doughnut batter, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid, Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid, you emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid.Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, he claims to have PTSD and he really does have PTSD, PTSD” when it stands for “pretty talented suckign dicks, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, nasty enough to pass gas during a colonscopy, thinks a GI lavage is a mixed drink at a party, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, consuming connoisseur of the chocolate starfish, Cocksucking Catfish, anal & vaginal prolapse, giant anal Q-Tip, this freak fancies himself performing fellatio on a variety of pinnapeds, He went all vaginal. You *never* go all vaginal, fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P), You are NOT a veteran, you NEVER served, you were not in Afghanistan, nor were you ever wounded, it goes without saying, you’re also NOT a U.S. Marshal and I hope they come after you like a fat starving, stoned, teenager at a bag of Doritos, you are a straight up criminal and liar, extraordinaire, you are worse than the Devil’s Hemorrhoids, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again, you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, This guy is a piece of lint on stinky goat nuts, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, This guy has spunk. And by spunk, I mean he likes to ingest copious, and I mean immense, monumental and breathtaking, amounts of Baby Batter, Ball Barf, Trouser Gravy, Man Chowder, High Fructose Porn Syrup, Daddy Sauce, Choad Nectar, Throat Yogurt, Penis Colada, Nut Butter, and Weiner Sauce, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, you weak-kneed no-load pus-nuts pisspants needle-dicked cockroach-fucking slug-licking bucket of lying cockroach shit!, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, parasite on society, What in the bipolar fuck, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tapping glory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, pisses off more people than the clackers on an abacus, prepare your anus, karma is going in dry, You are a moron. A window pane licking, urinal cake eating, lying moron, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, obstreperous shit-whistle, what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber,

          1. turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, this swollen, sweltering manhole should be infected with herpegonasyphilaids, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian bag of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt, And a new addition thanks to Sarge I hereby introduce you to the ALPHABET ASSAULT:
            Annoying asinine Ampharos asshole assistant to APL; bulimic ballsack biting butt buddy at Brucie’s Bathhouse (entrance in the rear); chronic cocksucking clymidiacic chickenfucking cretin; dumbass dumbshit dickguzzling dimwitted douchebag, erratic earwax eating enema expert; fowl felching monkeyfucking ferret fluffing Uncle Fester look-alike; gregarious gangrene carrying Grinch; hypocrtical hippo humping hackeysack full of horse shit; idiotic inbred imbecile with a low IQ and impotence issues; jumping jackass with jockey shorts full of jellyfish jism; kooky kommunistic klown kitty fucking knave; lying loathsome limpdick lillylivered lazyass llama blowing loser; manmeat mooching meatslapping moosecock muncher; no good ninja nippled needlenutted nobody; obsolete overfucked octopus orgy observer; penis pumping pee filled poster child for proper prophelactic usage; queasy queef quaffing quantum horsesqueeze; ratt fucking rump ranger who plays the rusty trombone; Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch with syphilis; taint ticking test subject for tits on men at Tiny’s Truck Stop; unclefucking ugly ass unborn umbilical discharge; valor Vulture and volunteer for vile vaginal discharge vacuum duty, wanks to blue waffle porn while waiting for winos to blow at the aforemention truck stop; useful as an upset ugly unicorn uterus; yodleing yellowbellied yak yanker; zipper gazing zealot with zits on his zero inch dick. Fuck off, eat shit, die in a fire.
            If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!

            We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
            OFFICIAL TAH BINGO CARD®™
            /FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value             The Hemisphere of Insults®™
            https://imgur.com/nGqi3aR

            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
            Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
            Here endeth the lesson.

            Oh and one time Blake Morgan said: “ I swear I was hearing “O Beautiful for spacious skies… For amber waves of grain” playing as I was reading this…. “

            So without further ado, here is a link to the New York Orchestra performing America the Beautiful, at Carnegie Hall, for your listening pleasure, if you want a musical accompaniment to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HgeYRROlk8

            _____________

            (Add this last as a second..)

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxXdE7pBTjQ

            Disclaimer:

            I don’t think that Carol Ann Badoni is going to garner any public media attention as the Foley and Jowers case and subsequent TAH Posts.

            A momentary review and consideration that this individual and their posting is generally not going to generate any undue influence or attract attention from local, regional or national media organizations, so as to not impede any further investigation into his behavior and distracting from linking to MP or TAH by a due deployment of said and glorious, The Hemisphere of Insults®™

            (Please excuse me but I’ll keep posting this disclaimer just because there may be some that don’t realize what was going on in previous threads and/or behind the scenes because of the previous deployment of the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ , this is just a reminder)
            1. This is a Dave post and I don’t want to stir shit when he had to edit one of the last ones because…
            2. Sometimes, TAH and MP attract outside attention from the local/regional and sometimes, national media. In one of the previous threads, the Foley and Jowers case, it attracted media attention and they were very hesitant to link or mention TAH, because of the deployment of the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ . I don’t want to hamper legitimate investigations or mentions or using TAH as a resource in reporting Stolen Valor to the public because to the outside world, the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ can be somewhat off-putting (to say the least, of which I am quite proud.)


            Remember to reference “Sarge” (done) and request the Staff Summary Sheet of Shame

              1. AMEN and AMEN!!! Due to the Time on Target Deployment of the HoI Fire Mission AND the Thursday’s are for Cooking Post, there is not only poser gofundme bling all over the AO, there was an involuntary vascular reaction causing collateral damage to the couch. I hate to take a nap in the wet spot.

                Outstanding job Chipster, but where’s the Choir Video?

            2. And everyone said amen! I’m filled with a sudden urge to step outside, salute the colors, and sing God Bless America!

            4. O-M-G!!!!!
              It has been TOOOOO long since I have had such an uproarous laugh.
              My work mates (all two of them) are looking at me strangely, and I. Don’t. Care!
              It’s been too too long since the HoI has been deployed to effect.

              Thank you Carlo B (or whatever name you’re going by at this moment) for bringing such joy to my life and quickening my pulse.

        2. That’s nice, ChipNASA, so here’s my contribution to your effort:

          This stump-sucking, slumguzzling, twank-ridden scutt buggy lives in a world of fantasies that are so repellent, they make those giant drooling ants from “Aliens” look like lapdogs. Never served anyone but herself. Ripped off more people than Bonnie & Clyde on a bender; in fact, makes those two look like amateurs; put up a “pay my way, I’m too lazy to do it myself” on GoFundMe (I hope it’s gone by now); shouldn’t be allowed near rabid dogs because she’d frighten them; makes Pinocchio look like an amateur and her nose really is longer than his; just wishes she was a REAL woman; thinks ‘Dick & Jane” books from grade school are porn; spent so much time breaking laws that even the Chinese Army wouldn’t have her on a trial basis; thinks that rubbing two sticks together as a Firestarter is slang for a sex act; never met a news camera she didn’t lie to; wants to show off “war wounds”, but forgot which jar they’re stored in; thinks that “liar, liar, pants on fire” is music for strippers; needs to get her mouth sewn shut after the other end is dealt with; already found those 50 pounds she thought she’d lost; will go anywhere she can be on TV; when she hears hogs snorting, she wants to know where they get their nose candy; and finally: needs to spend some time in an Afghan POW camp as the hostess with the moistest.

          Oh, yeah, so she knows I mean it’s aimed at her: shut up, SLUT!!!

          3. Ed, I think you’re gonna have to throw a bucket of cold water on Chip and Ex to get ’em separated…

            1. Missed you too Poe.

              As far as EX-PH2, were I to *BE* so lucky, not only to get in but to get out!!!! 😀
              Skippydoo

          4. DAYYYYYUM! Who know that Ex had such a masterful command of the English language.

            Chip, can you incorporate Ex’s wonderful rant into the HoI, or would you prefer to keep them separate?

            No matter what, this has to be saved for future posterity (or would that be “posterior”?)

            1. Well, Woodman, it’s specific to this skankazoid two-legger, so unless another of the sort-of female persuasion comes along, I have it on hold in the hold, but not on deck yet.

              Should another squealing warthog from hell haul her/its inglorious self into view, it will be ready to deploy.

              2. Of course, should that de Santi insanity return for review, I will be more than happy to deploy a barrage of cannonade – er, um, a cannonade of frabjous jabberwocky at her, as well.

                I aim to please.

  36. Bronze Star Citation
    AWARDED FOR ACTIONS
    DURING Afghanistan
    Service: Army
    Rank: Specialist
    NARRATIVE TO ACCOMPANY THE AWARD OF
    THE BRONZE STAR MEDAL
    TO
    SPECIALIST CAROL ANN BADONI
    UNITED STATES ARMY

    CITATION:

    By direction of the President, under the provisions of the act of Congress approved July 9, 1918 (Bul. No. 43, W.D. 1918), Specialist Carol Ann Badoni (SN: XXXXXXXXX), United States Army, is cited by the Commanding General, American Expeditionary Forces, for gallantry in action and a Bronze Star may be placed upon the ribbon of Medals awarded her with an accompanying “V” for Valor.

    Specialist Badoni, United States Army, distinguished herself by exceptionally meritorious wartime service as the First Aid Officer, XYZ, Multi-National Corps-Afghanistan on 12 February 2008 during OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM.

    During this period, Specialist Badoni’s attention to detail, devotion to duty, and determination in spite of personal risks to her own safety were instrumental in the success of the mission to provide support to her fellow Army Soldiers and units stationed throughout Afghanistan, and protection of MWR funds which she was in charge of.

    Coming off a night of exotic dancing at “Sailor Want to Hump-Hump Bar”, which she worked as a part-time job, with no regard for her own personal safety, Badoni adjusted her candy-striper medical costume and exposed herself to the enemy.

    Badoni then exposed herself to hostile fire several times to retrieve a casualty that owed her money and helped suppress the enemy because they couldn’t comprehend what they were seeing, enabling the unit to maneuver to a helicopter landing zone for exfiltration, the Army said in a statement at the time. The helicopter pilot was aided by the white candy-striper costume flapping violently in the wind and credited this with a successful landing. A plethora of single dollars bills were freed from Badoni’s G-string by the turbulence and were sucked up the aircraft’s rotor but did not impede the landing. Both Badoni and the pilot had to work through a blizzard of swirling one dollar bills, shekels and Monopoly money.

    Badoni exposed herself to further danger in order to control airstrikes from an AC-130 gunship within 35 meters of her team’s position. She also coordinated an attack with precision guided 500lb bombs from two F-16’s and 105mm munitions from an AC-130 before being wounded in her keester and eventually passed out from loss of blood and alcohol intoxication from the night before.

    Details of the mission — such as its location, its duration and its targets — cannot be disclosed due to Operational Security. U.S. special operations troops often accompany Afghan forces into battle as part of the U.S. counter-terrorism mission known as Operation Freedom’s Sentinel. Specialist Badoni reflected great pride upon herself, her unit and the United States Army. Because all of this occurred in an unauthorized area, it will be stricken from the record.

    2. Ha!

      Y’know, for the first couple of sentences, I actually thought this was a sock puppet trying to pass off a citation as legit! XD

                1. Got’em chillin’ in the frigid-day-tor as we speak Pappy. You need one to tide you over til the WOT drops?

  39. I must point out an error in the article above, as I read a couple of contemporaneous reports on the murder trial of Baldoni’s lover. Attorney Blumenfield was the defense attorney and the quoted testimony from Baldoni was elicited in cross-examination at the preliminary hearing. The prosecutor decided her testimony was so unreliable, he did not call her to testify at the jury trial. The jury acquitted Baldoni’s paramour of his wife’s murder.

    1. “Badoni,” dammit. I keep wanting to give her the benefit of that “L”. Maybe Badoni is Italian for “bad one.” Perhaps I subconsciously want to put the “L” in there because she looks like she might be Lesbianese, you know, from that island in the Mediterranean.

  41. I must say I’m wearing my shocked face
    that she isn’t a veteran and never even served a day in uniform, except for those times it was her stripper costume.

    I must be a modern day Nostradamus, since I predicted this outcome.

      1. Yep, that’s me. You outed my real name. Now I’m out there just like Larsie, the commie cuttlefish.

    1. OK Space Cowboy, my bad. I didn’t notice the linkys in the ending, I’m so used to seeing the picture of the orchester and doing a clicky on it. Going back up to check made me see the Elvis one too.

      You da man, I’ll punish myself by drinking warm, stale, unsweetened tea.

        1. Tox, ain’t that what Slow Joe drinks all the time, least ways, the stale and flat part. He may chill the Pud Lites (sic)!

    1. Heh, number two google hit for Carol Ann Badoni is for her mugshot and inmate profile from a Kenosha bail bonds business, lol…

      1. Combat Historian,
        and #3 is her incriminating dormant 2013 Twitter account,
        with 2013 Stolen Valor Twitter litter.

        >> [Carol Badoni @ImGovtOwned
        I was in the military for 20 yrs. I wanted to be a lifer but was shot twice while serving in Afghanistan. I’m now a U.S. Marshal. I have a great 18 yr old son
        Wisconsin
        Joined February 2013]

        1. Hey, Phony Badoni, I was in the military (active and reserve) for 33 years, and I have the military records and paperwork to prove it. You, on the other hand is a mentally-ill grifter who can’t tell the truth if your sad life depends on it; you got your 15 minutes of fame-whoring, now f*ck off and slink back to your fantasy make-believe…

  44. Hack is wondering if she knows the infamous Pirate Lesbian. Even Daniel Bernath said that Pirate Lesbian’s photoshop skills sucked.

    2. You have heard of Readers For The Blind? She was a Stripper For The Blind. She was as probably as successful as a stripper as perhaps some loser who set up a phony proud but humble woman owned business that sells software to the federal government. Maybe she should check the All Points Logistics website for job opportunities.

      1. Hack – Since it is widely accepted that the blind “see” with their hands, I can’t fathom the horrors that they may have “seen”.

  46. Everyone disparaging her looks and commenting re her employment as a stripper have clearly never spent time at any of the fine establishments outside of Marine Corps bases. She would’ve fit right in at the Dirtwood.

    1. She actually looks somewhat decently presentable in the second photo with a full head of blond hair. I must say that if I was an 18 year old GI or Gyrene feeling lonely and looking for female companionship, and not knowing she is a nutcase, I certainly wouldn’t turn her down, but only if there is no money involved…

    3. Penguin – You give it too much credit. That thing would have been at the old Cave on 17 & Newbridge or would be the lunch shift at Tobies at best.

  48. That feral female critter looks like she was slapped together from spare parts on a Monday morning or Friday afternoon.

  49. Pingback: Carol Ann Badoni – US Army Veteran of 20 Years, Wounded Twice in Afghanistan, Blog of Shame |

  50. What I find interesting is even before this blog CNN could have easily Googled ‘Carol Badoni’ and the very first thing that pops up is that she was not a credible witness at a murder trial. No FOIA for military records, no other research needed to be done, just a simple Google of her name.

    Shame on CNN and Erin Burnett.

    1. tshe,
      Yes,
      and doubly true for last year’s Maggie DeSanti,
      the TSA airport push ups old bag,
      since she was already on Google as a
      Stolen Valor phony Silver Star who NEVER SERVED,
      outed a few years before.
      Same, same. No one bothered to look and verify.
      Not the major news networks.
      Not Honor Flights Arizona, who gave her a FREE trip to DC.
      Ugh.
      Ugh.

      1. Yes. This is why it is so wrong to abandon journalistic integrity… which is now an oxymoron.

        They have crossed over from presenting the raw facts to leaning forward and stringing together stories that support a narrative aligned with their worldview belief system. They crave it so much that they are vulnerable to anyone that is willing to tell them what they want to hear.

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